David on Chris Farley:
"I'm not being callous, but I know I was helpless. I tried to give him the old 'It's not worth it' and 'Come on, you shouldn't be partying so much.' "
"He would always sit and listen to the lectures. He'd nod and agree. I thought I was so smart and that I'd articulated my case well, then he'd turn around and do whatever he wanted. I realize he played me."
"People thought I gave up on him and people thought I didn't care about him."
"He was one of my best friends and I'll miss him everyday."
On Phil Hartman:
"When [Phil] died, I just pretended it hadn't happened. I didn't even know how to deal with that. It came too quick on the heels of Farley, and it surprised me how numb I got. I deflected like Teflon."
Chris Rock on David's early life:
"I know Spade is this cutesy little white guy, but he had the life of a rapper. I mean, I grew up Bed-Stuy and I had it better than him." (David's brother, Bryan, was in a gang, and David's step-dad committed suicide when David was a teenager.)
Other DS stuff:
"Basically, I'm not really cool, it's more of an optical illusion. But if it works, I'll take it." -- David
"Is it cool in here or is it just me?" as Finch on JSM.
"Wait, I just remembered something...you're boring, and my legs work."- as Finch in JSM.
"Oh, I see I've interrupted Happytime." - as Richard, in Tommy Boy
"Aw... why'd they have to queer it all up with a pink ribbon?" - Finch in JSM
"It's called reading- top to bottom, left to right.. group words together as a sentences.." - as Richard in Tommy Boy
"That would be schhhhweet!" - on SNL as a dweeb, a geek, or a spaz)
"You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas." - as Finch, JSM.