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Ten Ways to Know if You're a Raver
- When you hear the word "roll" you ears automatically get radar
- You always have a visor handy
- You walk w/ a sway that says you own the world
- You've learned to walk in beat w/ the drum and base in your head
- You carry around a little book-bag every where you go
- In that little book bag you have strange little toys showing that you're always ready for a rave
- You know the other use for a Vick's Inhaler
- For some strange reason you have a pacifier w/ you a all times
- You've begun a collection of colorful cheap plastic bracelets on both wrists.
- You catch trails off of the weirdest stuff (like a shoe or bird)
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Top 10 things that totally irk me.
- A person picking their nose and then eat whatever came out of your nose.
- A waiter digging up his ass then asking to take my order.
- People who think their feet are so pretty, yet are blind to the lumps of green fungi growing between their toes.
- Going to nibble on someone's ear and coming face to face with a month's worth of wax buildup.
- Guys continuously spitting up and down the street. I have to watch and see every color spit in the book.
- You see the finest guy in the world and finally gather up enough courage to ask him to dance, only to find out he's gay.
- Fat guys (not dissin fat people) who walk down the street thinking they're so cool with their pants to their knees, and you can see their but crack. I don't want to see the full moon, luvs.
- When guys go into a lesbian chat room.
- When you walk down the street past this totally kewl person and try to act cool yourself, when all of a sudden you trip over something invisible.
- When you go shopping ina mall, and just because you're a teenager the saleswoman follows you around not trying to hide the fact that she is.
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Hey all. how's all? Well truthfully the only reason I have a top ten page is because I didn't know what else to do w/ page. I mean if you have any ideas then give me a message. But for now this should be enough to quench your thirst for humor. Don't you agree? Well kids, it's been tres sweet.P.L.U.R.!
Top 10 Reasons why Chocolate is Better Than Sex
1. You can have chocolate anytime you feel an urge for it. No matter what time of the day.
2. You can eat chocolate anywhere, from the subway to the sidewalk.
3. You can have chocolate in front of your grandmother.
4. With chocolate, you're never disappointed when you're through.
5. With chocolate you don't mind licking the mess off of your hands and face.
6. With chocolate, if you bite into a nut it doesn't scream.
7. Chocolate is cheap.
8. With chocolate, you don't have to worry about hair in your mouth.
9. You never have to sneak off in the middle of a family reunion to eat chocolate. You can do it in the open.
10. The only protection you need for chocolate, is a napkin.
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Ten ways To Know You Watch Too Much Jerry springer
10. When the show's not on, you beat the crap out of yourself.
9. Your first words at work everymorning:"Bring on the strippers".
8. You're a guest on an episode entitled, "I Lost My Job Watching Too Much Jerry Springer."
7. You're neglecting your duties as Vice President of the U.S.
6. When your girlfriend suggests turning off the show, you say, "Talk to the hand,girlfriend".
5. You claim that with every show Jerry is becoming better looking.
4. You're the only subscriber to something called "Shirtless Springer Monthly."
3. You dress your poodle up in glasses and a little brown wig.
2. Can't have sex without a studio and a hand-held microphone.
1. You start eating beef just to annoy Oprah.
Ten Ways the Wizard of Oz Would Be Different if Written in the 90s
-Grisly scene in which Dorothy blasts flying monkeys out of the sky with an Uzi.
-The Good Witch of the North is Pamela Anderson.
-Dorothy steps outside and says,"Like, this is so not kansas!"
-Instead of oil, Tin Man moans, "BenGay!"
-Kathie Lee Gifford plays Dorothy-audience roots for the wicked witch.
-It would be called "Twister 2."
-To prepare for his role as the Scarecrow, DiNiro would have his brain removed.
-Lovable dog Toto replaced by lovable droid T.O.T.O.
-"Lions and tigers and bears, oh sh**!"
-New title-"Wiz Got Game."
Top Ten Ways You Know You're Ghetto
You carry your foodstamps in a money clip
You think Ebonics is a work out tape
You put Ketchup in your pork and beans
Help me out folks. e-mail me some of your ideas to put under this topic. What do I know about ghetto? Pinestorm...Help me out.
Top Ten Pick up Lines of a SUMO WRESTLER
They call me "Don Juan in a diaper"
I'm a 400-pound hunk of burnin' love.
Let's enjoy the traditional Japanese customs of gettin' it on.
Wanna wrassle?
I may look tubby, but I got an ass like a jackhammer.
People say I look like a young Paul Newman.
Wanna do it with a fat guy?
I'm 3 percent muscle, 50 percent fat, and 100 percent sex machine.
You can be on top.
I've got Mount Fuji in my pants.
Signs that you hired a bad Easter Bunny For Your Kid's Party
$For an Easter bunny, he sure has a lot of stories about being in prison.
$With every hop, his bunny pants drop another inch.
$He's in his bunny suit ready to go-and it's October.
$Brags that he's starring in his own sitcom on the WB called "Bunny Bunny."
$When asked why there's a whole in the bottom of his suit, he says, "Them eggs don't lay themselves."
$He shows up wearing his Burger King uniform and asks the kids to just play along.
$His "tail" is just tied up back hair.
$He's an atheist.
$Cuts off his own foot, gives it to you saying, "This will bring you good luck."
$Two words: three ears.
Top 10 Worst Jobs.
President's Intern.
Pillsbury Doughboy stomach poker.
You know the guy who collects all the change from pool hall vending machine's?--his assistent.
The U.S. Ambassador to David Hasselhoff.
George Michael's men's room attendant.
Any job where you're required to use the word "frapuccino".
Paul Shaffer's mid-show scalp masseur.
Dairy Queen's senior vice president in charge of scrumpdilliiciousness.
Anyone who works on sesame street.
O.J.'s attorney.
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