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Why Combat Is Inevitable In The Modern RPG

It has come to my attention that many are dissatisfied with the sheer amount of combat in MM6, as well as the lack of real puzzles. As leader of the Theosophical Wing of The Might and Magic Appreciation Society of The Hand Of Wisdom, I would like to put forward my case. Of course I do so using one of my many and varied experiments as evidence for my hypothesis. This being that in the world of Enroth, life imitates Art, and Art imitates life, and we should all realise the correlations between the two, and their important mathematical conclusions. The Experiment With this experiment I hoped to prove that life on earth parelleled life on Enroth, thus using this to illustrate that a world of consistency is required, more so than a young child's perception of "fun". I travelled to the hardware store on the corner, "Greasy Louie's" and purchased the following items: An axe. A sextant. A bronze saucepan. A wok. Chain mesh fencing. Gumboots. Football helmet (from the Sporting Goods section) Baking mitts (housewares) Some string. Dice (gaming section) Kerosene. Matches. Ten sticks of dynamite. Gaffer tape. Special mushrooms (from Greasy Louie himself) Armed with these items, I underwent preparation for my quest. I perched the saucepan atop my head, and wound string through a hook in the wook, attaching it to my left arm - a suitable shield for a mighty warrior. I donned the gumboots and football helmet, and put on the baking mitts. The chain mesh fencing I cut and fashioned into formidable chain armour. Then I grabbed the axe, my dice, kerosene, matches, dynamite, gaffer tape, and my sextant, and I was ready for my first quest. Before I left I consumed my special mushrooms. Appropriately garbed, I left my dark laboratory in search of adventure. Unfortunately there were no horses nearby, but thankfully a bus was handy. The driver was hostile at first, but soon came around to my point of view when I rolled 3d6, and factoring in the +4 attack bonus due to the inherent properties of my axe, it was an easy strike, and I took his left leg off below the knee. Needless to say I had no further trouble from the miscreant. I spotted a likely Lord by the back of the bus. "Tally ho, your Lordship" I exclaimed. "How's about a quest?" He seemed rather nervous, and I was reminded of Albert Newton's forgetfulness when he answered: "Huh?" "My quest milord, for my promotion... Surely thou dost have one for a noble knight?" "For god's sake, don't kill me!" he exclaimed. Hmm, it seemed a strange one, but I knew there was something in his words, meant for mine ears only. Something had to be killed, and for the sake of a God, probably of Darkness. Well, officially against my alignment, but I'm all for being non-linear, and I could see it as a possibly quick way of mastering Dark Magic. "I thank thee!" I boomed impressively, wiping blood off my glasses. This quest thing was quite a lark, I can tell you! The bus driver attempted to alight our fantastical carriage at the next stop, so I was unfortunately forced to slay him. Expect that affected my reputation somewhat, though I must say I saw nothing but glowing respect in the eyes of my fellow passengers. In the true spirit of RPG's, I looted his body. Found some gold, and a ring inscribed with "Alpha Beta Kappa". Couldn't see any major magical properties, but I was sure that once I mastered Water, It would make good material for enchantment. So there I stood before a mighty castle, a loud banner perched above it entitled "Woolworths". Perhaps it was the Dark Mage of Woolworths that I had been sent to slay in my quest? Seemed reasonable enough to me, but as I prepared to enter, an ambush! What appeared to be a pack of Brigands and Rogues, wearing strange blue outfits, and blowing whistles. Good Lord, I thought, what is it that they summon with those whistles?? Needless to stay I didn't wait to see whether it was one of those dreadful Flying Oozes, I made haste and entered the castle. Within the walls of the Woolworths Fortress I witnessed that the Dark Lord had enslaved my fellow countryfolk! There were small semi-cubicles along the entrance, and the slave workers seemed to be imprisoned by strange laser devices in front of them. I had read of some of these from the days of the Ancients, though I'd never for an instant supposed it could be true. "Run, my friends, Paladin Peabody has arrived to free you all!" I shouted. They were obviously victims of some untoward spell, as none of them seemed to move. I realised it would take sheer force to free them. I ran to the back, looking for the servant's entry, or a secret passage - the blue brigands were closing in, and projectiles whistled by my ear. They were using some arcane earth magic I had not witnessed, similiar but not quite like Rock Blast - the rocks were fined down to tiny fragments. Halfway to the secret exit, I realised I had been headed off. Hiding behind some obviously alien foodstuffs in metal containers, I prepared for a spell, and prayed to the Gods Of Fire. "O Pyromanius Ones, Let Me Smite My Enemies With The Blazes Of Hades" I muttered, fumbling with my container. I took off the lid, and sprayed liquid along the corridoor. Then I took out my Fire Sticks, struck one, exclaimed "Alla Kazam, Ring Of Fire!" and hurled it amongst the ever-closing Brigands. I ducked, and there insued a most wonderful explosion, obviously those months of training in the Elemental Arts had paid off. I consulted my dice. Hmm, only twelve points. Obviously luck was with me however, as when I glanced up with my singed eyebrows, the corridoor was literally littered with bodies. Sadly I had eliminated some innocents also - another reputation problem, possibly a trip to the Temple was in order in the near future. I looted their bodies, and on one I found a most marvellous dagger, that receded into itself at the press of a switch. As a trophy I took the corpse's jacket, made of a strange material, perhaps derived from animal skin. On the back was inscribed "Hell's Angels". Well, yes, I suppose I could see myself as that. And then I found what I was looking for amongst the arcane smoke and vapour: the lair of the Demon. I rushed in, my chain mail becoming quite hot from the continuing flames. And that's where I found him. The cunning malevolent spirit had cloaked himself in the guise of a young boy, but I was not fooled: A young boy would not clothe himself in a red apron, and we all know what that means. I rushed him, and held my new found dagger to his throat. "Remove the curse, foul Devilspawn!" I cried, saddened by the destruction that had been wreaked. "Look around you, and see that I am not a Knight to be trifled with!" He looked towards a strange device on the wall, I presume it was either a communication machine, or a teleporter - with their evil futuristic machinations from the Ancient days, it is often hard to tell. "Do not challenge my honour...." I grunted gutturally, "lest you lose thy head!" The Devilspawn made a grand attempt at looking afraid, but a Knight armed with the Truth cannot be swayed. "Very well!" I shouted, and rolled my dice: only a 6, a glancing blow. "Give me the Sacred Code of Uncursing!" I demanded, but at that, the boy's body grew limp in my arms. I screamed in agony, for I had been betrayed justice! The Devilspawn had escaped, leaving me with a helpless mortal vessel! So much for puzzles, I thought. No hope of removing the curse now. Thankfully I was also quite skilled in the Art of Air Magic, and I realised that to free the poor surviving enslaved humans, it was necessary that I revert to extremes. I took off my chain armour and shield. In the distance, I heard a strange howling. Obviously the Brigands had called for reinforcements, it sounded a truly huge creature. Upon removing my defensive accoutrements, the magical batons I had fastened to my chest with adhesives were exposed. With one of my last remaining firesticks, I ignited them, one by one, and intoned "O Gaseous Ones, Let Me Smite My Enemies With The Gusts Of Tornadus!" Within seconds, the castle was reduced to ashes around me. I had succeeded, and yet failed! Ah, the mighty effects of Implosion, to date I had found nothing invulnerable to it... Unfortunately this huge influx of mana had a wracking and terrible effect on me, and I felt my limbs being severed and thrown from my body. In my confusion, sorcerers wearing white lab coats removed me from the rubble, and spirited me away in a red and white chariot, whose purpose it seemed was to make me ready for torture. And so here I sit, limbless, awaiting my terrible fate. I write this to you with quill in mouth, my friends and companions, not in the hope that I will be able to send it, in part to while away the time before the Dark Ones come for me as they inevitably will. They forcefeed me with posionous potions that make me feel quite fatigued. But as this testimony will attest, inevitably, no matter how committed an honest Knight may be to a bit of puzzle solving, it inevitably results in physical combat. So you see, one must accept the reality of the game, rather than attempting to shape the reality for our own noble ends.. I thank you all, and I will see you all in Light's Kingdom, I'm sure. Ezra D.Peabody