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Cannibals (In Which Roderick Learns
The True Meaning Of Adventure)

By BekkiM


They had been traveling for days and Roderick was tired. He was tired of the damp and the cold and the bugs and the lousy food. Mostly, though, he was tired of the people with him. Serena had done nothing but whine ever since they left Castle Ironfist. During their stay there, she had struck up a "friendship" with a sailor in the tavern and the party had seen little of her after that. In fact, she had delayed their departure until well into December by refusing to leave until he sailed. Since Roderick believed they had little chance of completing their quest without her, he had been forced to wait. But he hadn't done so patiently and let her know this at every opportunity. So they had been bickering off and on for most of the journey.

Alexis and Zoltan were no help either. They were so caught up in their relationship that they barely noticed the other two. It was sickening, really, the way they constantly held hands, and giggled, and ran off into the bushes, only to emerge some time later, twigs in their hair and their clothing in disarray.

Roderick sighed. This was not the life he had expected when he left home to become an adventurer. He had dreamed of glory and honor. What he had found instead was bad food and bar fights. Sure, the women flung themselves at him, he couldn't deny that, and the killing was fun, but somehow it wasn't enough. He wanted to make something of himself, to be a hero. Well, that certainly wasn't going to happen if he let the bozos he was travelling with make decisions. So he had appointed himself leader, a fact the others sullenly resented but were too lazy to challenge.

They had arrived in Bootleg Bay on a cold, grey December day. The spoiled prince, Nicolai, had run away from his uncle and guardian and the evidence indicated that he might have come this way. Rumor had it that the unscrupulous circus troupe that roamed Enroth might have lured him in. Who knew what those hoodlums might do to him. Demand a hefty ransom from Lord Humphrey and return him unharmed if he was lucky. Bugger him and put him on display in a sideshow was more like it.

"Serve the little brat right," thought Roderick. "Let him know what the real world is like. That'll teach him to appreciate the cushy little life he's got going in the palace. Got Humphrey and everyone else wrapped around his pudgy little finger." Roderick figured he was the only one who saw through the "innocent little boy" façade that Nicolai adopted. The kid was no innocent, that's for sure. Who did they think had welcomed the followers of Baa into the kingdom? Archibald? Yeah, right.

In addition to the wild-goose chase to rescue the prince, they were on some foolish quest that Zoltan was all hot and bothered about. Some stupid magical fountain that he had to drink from to be promoted to wizard.

"Well, whoop-de-do," thought Roderick. The sorcerer was already insufferable, bragging about being able to call fire and walk on water. Being promoted would only swell his head even more. Roderick had tried mightily to convince the group that they should be off rescuing damsels and fighting dragons so he himself could be promoted to hero, but the lazy SOBs had absolutely refused. Alexis and Zoltan had ganged up on Serena and convinced her that a lengthy campaign clearing out the corrupted Silver Helms Temple in Mist would prevent her from being back in Ironfist when her sailor returned to port (they conveniently neglected to mention that they'd have to go to Mist anyways to complete Zoltan's promotion quest), and the three of them had simply outvoted Roderick. He would have gone on his own, but, much as he hated to admit it, he needed Zoltan's spells if he was to complete the quest.

So here they were in Bootleg Bay, as disease-infested a swamp as ever was ejected from the maw of hell. It was crawling with Lizard Men and Headhunters, all of who seemed to have a taste for adventurers' flesh. Now, bloody and tired, the group entered the stinking group of houses that passed for a town and looked for a place to pass the night. They certainly didn't want to spend another night out in the open. The only activity in the town was a bar fight ("Oh god, another one," thought Roderick) spilling out onto the street. Serena, of course, waded right in and starting throwing punches indiscriminately. Alexis and Zoltan didn't even seem to notice the struggling, shouting men as they strolled in and got themselves a room.

"At least I don't have to listen to THAT tonight," muttered Roderick, watching the couple weave through the surging crowd without once allowing so much as an inch of space to open between their entwined bodies. After glancing towards the fight and determining that Serena was holding her own--actually she had one big bruiser in a head lock and was proceeding to make short work of his teeth with the flat side of her axe--he shrugged and followed the others inside.

The Goblins Tooth was dim and smoky. Through the haze, he saw rough sailors and dock-workers drinking huge mugs of ale and flirting outrageously with the scantily clad bar maids. That the bar maids were goblins and as likely to neuter them as to pleasure them didn't seem to deter the men a bit. The noise level was nearly deafening and he had to shout to make himself heard over the roar.

"I'd like a room for the night," he bellowed at the scaly figure behind the counter. "A clean one, if you think you could possibly manage such a thing."

"We only got one room left," grunted the creature. "Normally, I'd charge ya 10GP, but seein' as yer gonna be sharin' it wit da chic outside, I'll drop yer price to 7GP"

Privately Roderick thought it unlikely that Serena would spend the night in his room, not when there were so many more "attractive" (well, there was no accounting for her tastes) prospects in the bar, but he thought the better of saying so. The room was expensive enough.

"She sure is a pretty one," the innkeeper added. "I'll give ya 2GP for her. I could use a human gal around here--the men are gettin' tired of my goblin ladies."

"Actually," Roderick said stiffly, taking his key and turning away. "I hadn't noticed her looks. And she isn't mine to sell in any case. Although you're welcome to make the offer directly to her. I'm sure she'll be receptive."

The innkeeper looked out the door at Serena, who was now attempting to disembowel a dwarf with a broken potion bottle.

"No," he said to himself. "I think maybe not."


The room turned out to be little more than a closet, tucked in under the stairs. It was filthy and Roderick could hear rats scurrying under the unmade bed. But at least he was alone, finally. Laying out his bedroll over the soiled mattress, he lay back and laced his hands under his head. Staring at the ceiling, he thought about the life he had been leading, taking stock of his accomplishments.

Since leaving the small farming village of his childhood, he had wandered Enroth searching for trainers and teachers who could help him achieve his dream of becoming a hero. He had become fairly proficient with the sword; in fact, he liked to think that there were few men who could best him. He had read and studied and trained until he was sick to death of it and eager for some action. When he met Serena, he had been impressed with her brash attitude and her skill with the war hammer. Her skills between the sheets had been pretty impressive too, but their competitive natures soon brought that part of their partnership to an end. But, before they broke up, they met Alexis and Zoltan.

It had been a hot, summer night in New Sorpigal and the four of them were sitting on the patio of the tavern, drinking a few too many of the famous Goblinwatch ciders, when Zoltan started spouting off about fantastic treasures. He claimed there were fortunes to be made just lying around in dungeons for brave folks like themselves to gather up like ripe fruit. Drunk, Roderick challenged him to name one such dungeon.

Lifting his mug, Zoltan slurred, "Why, right up the hill ish th' Goobler, Gobler…" He took a deep drink of his cider. "Goblinwasch. Theresh tonsh of shtuff just lyin' there."

"Bull," said Roderick. "If it was there, somebody would have found it by now."

"Theshe stupid peshants," sneered Zoltan. "They're too shcared of their own shadowzzzz. I'm tellin' ya, we could be rich. "

Well, nothing would do but that they stagger out of town and barge into the dungeon. Almost immediately, they were attacked by a giant rat. Killing it easily, they were flushed with a sense of victory and felt drunkenly invincible. When the goblins attacked a few moments later, they barely escaped with their lives. But they had escaped, and found treasure besides. This success gave them a taste for battle and finding that, personal differences aside, they actually made a strong fighting team, they decided to set off together in search of quests. What Roderick hadn't realized at the time was that their motivations for going couldn't have been more different. Serena, of course, just loved the fighting and the, well, the men. Zoltan wanted personal power and saw the gold lying around in dungeons and caves as the easiest way to attain it. Alexis just wanted to be where Zoltan was. Which brought them here, to Bootleg Bay.

Sighing, Roderick turned over on his side and tried to sleep, but the noise from the barroom below kept him awake. Just after midnight, he decided to give up the attempt and go for a walk, reasoning that if he stayed within the town limits, it was unlikely anyone--or anything--would bother him. And if they did, well, he trusted that his sword could get him out of just about any fix.

The night was cold and overcast, but the full moon shown through gaps in the cloud cover. It was bright enough to see the muddy road, really little more than a cart path, leading east through the town. Taking a deep breath of the fetid air, Roderick began walking. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice he had left the town behind until he literally ran into the side of a darkened circus tent. Swearing softly under his breath, he turned to head back towards town, but stopped when he realized that he was not alone.

Standing a few yards away was a small group of headhunters, their bone necklaces gleaming in the moonlight. Drawing his sword, he prepared to fight, but the men just grinned. He thought this was odd since their spears were no match for him and they must know it, but put the thought out of his mind and readied himself for battle. He felt, rather than saw, movement to his right and looked over just in time to see the net that a second group was casting over him. He hacked at it desperately with his sword, but the tough fibers were nearly impossible to cut and it settled around him like a shroud. As the headhunters closed him, he felt a sharp prick on his arm, then a tingling, and his world went black.


When Roderick awoke, he was in a dimly lit stone cell. Water and slime oozed down the walls, and he could hear a strange slithering sound. He could also hear what sounded like a young woman, sobbing.

"You there, girl!" Roderick called out. "Where are we? What do they want with us?"

But she did not respond, in fact, she started to cry harder. Taking a deep breath, Roderick tried again, more gently this time.

"I am Roderick, an adventurer on a quest. I was ambushed by headhunters who drugged me and brought me here. Were you captured too? Take heart, my companions are sure to rescue us soon." Although he wasn't at all sure this was true, he thought the little white lie might cheer her up a bit. "Will you tell me your name?"

The girl's sobs had quieted a little as he talked. When he finished, she whispered, "I am Sherell Ivanavah, M'Lord. I was captured by the same awful men. They've been keeping me here in this terrible dungeon for days."

"But it doesn't matter," she continued, breaking into sobs again. "For I can never go home, now. I am ruined, ruined." And she started crying in earnest again.

Just then, the door to Roderick's cell was flung open and two women, clad in little but scraps of fur, strode in. Thrusting their sharp spears at him, they gestured for him to rise and follow them. Sparing a quick word of reassurance for the disconsolate Sherell, he did so. They led him through a maze of hallways, forcing him to leap across gaping chasms in the floor, and generally destroying what little sense of direction he had. He had little choice but to follow, since they had taken his weapons, and he didn't think he could find his way out of this dark hole in any case. They stopped before a great metal door, behind which could be heard more slithering and a low, pulsating chanting.

Giving him a fierce look that he interpreted to mean, "Don't cause any trouble," they opened the doors and forced him into the chamber. Just inside the door, he stopped, stunned.

The room was an enormous bowl and he stood at its rim, looking down on the swirling contents beneath him. Huge snakes crawled everywhere, over the benches and each other. The headhunters and cannibals in the room were seemingly ignoring the serpents as they went about their business, lighting torches and stirring a steaming brew on the other side of the bowl, chanting all the while. But the most amazing sight was the priestess behind the great altar in the center of the room and Roderick could not help but stare at her, his mouth gaping. No where in any of his travels had he seen anything like her.

She was an enormous woman--six feet tall if she was an inch. And she was huge. Not just fat, but incredibly, gloriously obese. Great rolls of flesh enveloped her, glistening with sweat from the heat of the room. She exuded a fecund sexuality that nearly knocked Roderick down and he felt his body responding to her call despite himself. At first he thought she was wearing some sort of exotically embroidered robes, but then he realized, with some shock, that her entire body was decorated with elaborate piercings. From head to toe, her skin was adorned with fantastic patterns of quills, sharpened bone, and metal rings. When she grinned at him, standing above her, open-mouthed, he saw that her teeth were filed to sharp points.

"Come Roderick," she crooned. "Come join my friends and I for a little party."

Too bedazzled to wonder how she knew his name, he began walking towards her, wading through the coiling, hissing snakes as if they weren't even there. As he neared her, he began to detect a strange, overpowering odor--it smelled like a seaside marsh, fertile and stagnant at once. It was oddly stimulating. He couldn't have prevented his body's response now if he wanted to, which he no longer did. Her gleaming eyes and mysterious smile captivated him and he could think of nothing else. When she motioned for him to kneel on the altar before her, his face just inches from her the intricate designs that trailed over her breasts, he did so without a thought to the audience pressing in around him. She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

"M'Lord Roderick," she said, licking her lips. He saw, with a shiver of distaste, that her lips and chin were stained with blood. But the feeling of disgust was quickly replaced by an aching fascination as he fell deeper under her spell.

"I have waited so long for one such as yourself to come and visit me," she continued. "You have been away far too long. But you're here now." With this she smiled even more broadly and pressed a goblet to his lips. Gagging slightly, he drank deeply of the sweet, pungent liquid. It burned as it flowed down his throat; he could feel its passage all the way down to his belly. As its heat began to radiate through him, he felt his body responding even more strongly to her attraction, more strongly than he had ever thought possible.

"Yes, I think now," murmured the priestess as she helped Roderick lie back on the altar, her eyes locked with his.

Suddenly, countless strong arms were stripping him of his clothing and holding him down. Through a fog, he heard the chanting increase in intensity. He tried to struggle, but the priestess's eyes still held him, and he was overcome. Soon, he lay exposed before her, feeling the snakes slither over his legs and groin. He hardly noticed when one of the headhunters approached and bent over his chest, but cried out in shock when a red hot needle passed through his left nipple. Before he could do more than gasp in pain, another needle was thrust through his right nipple. Looking down, he saw that he was now adorned with metal rings that gleamed in the torchlight. The pain was immense, forcing the fog out of his mind, and he realized that the priestess was now straddling his hips, preparing to lower herself onto him. He realized too, with some shock, that he was ready, eager even, despite the pain, despite the blood flowing down his chest.

Just as he began to feel her warm bulk encompass him, he was distracted by a commotion off in the distance. Looking up, he was astounded to see Zoltan and Serena, clearing a bloody path through the cobras and cannibals, hacking about with abandon as they made their way towards him. Serena shouted something that he couldn't quite hear, but plainly, she was warning him about something. Looking back up into the furious face of the priestess, he discovered that her sharpened teeth were only inches from his face.

"I will have you, M'Lord Roderick," she hissed. "Your little friends may take you away now, but your escape is only temporary. And you'll wear my 'gifts' until the day you die." Smiling cruelly at him, she tweaked the rings on his chest, causing pain such as he had never experienced, even on the battlefield.

"They are enchanted, M'Lord, and cannot be removed except at my command." Heaving her bulk off him, she moved with surprising speed through a hidden passage behind the altar. Roderick watched her go, frightened, yet oddly disappointed. But, with the priestess gone, the entrancement began to lift.

Zoltan approached, smirking at Roderick's aroused condition, and said, "Maybe you didn't want us to rescue you so soon?" He laughed loudly at his own joke.

Ignoring Zoltan and snatching up a spear from a fallen headhunter, he shouted to Serena, who was cutting down the last remaining cobras, "There's a maiden who needs rescuing in the dungeons below. Come, let us go find her."

Roderick raced through the maze of passageways, looking for anything that seemed even remotely familiar. He was certain that the priestess would take Sherell for some nefarious purpose and felt obligated to find the girl before that could happen. After what seemed like hours fighting his way through narrow hallways, he finally stumbled upon the dungeon again.

"Sherell," he called. "I am here. I have come to rescue you." And, flinging open her cell door, he ran in, sword still raised from killing her two remaining guards. In the heat of the battle, he had completely forgotten the picture he would make, barging into her cell naked, blood streaming from his pierced chest, as well as from numerous other gashes received in his dash through the temple. Sherell screamed and cowered away from him, terrified. Zoltan raced around a corner, ever attuned to the sound of a pretty girl who might be in need of comfort from a strong man like himself (a fact Alexis did her best to ignore), and burst into laughter at the sight. It wasn't until Alexis and Serena arrived, several minutes later, that everyone got calmed down and they were able to leave the evil temple, Roderick draped in flea-infested furs taken from a dead cannibal.

"Not exactly proper attire for a hero," he thought sourly, but then he hadn't behaved much like a hero either, a train of thought he quickly supressed.

As they emerged into the breaking dawn, Roderick was surprised to see that they were on an island.

"Zoltie cast Water Walk and we ran along the tops of the waves," Alexis simpered, when he asked, astounded, how they had arrived there. As for how they even knew where to look, Serena had been throwing up in the bushes outside the Goblins Tooth and had looked up just in time to see Roderick heading out of town. They would have been there sooner, but she had had a hard time coaxing Zoltan and Alexis out of bed.

"Well, let us return Sherell safely to her uncle," Roderick said, wrapping his furs around him and attempting to regain his dignity. Rescuing a damsel, after all this time, made him feel as though he might actually become a hero some day and improved his mood considerably.

"Come, we will find a ship and set sail for Free Haven."

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