isn't it all in my head?
time to paint my face.
and go out.
not before i throw another fit.
not before i get what i want.
not before i am happy.
happy with myself.
happy with you.
happier without you.
yet as i strut on, eyes glaring...
i know deep inside
its you i need.
its you i want.
its you i have to come home to.

i kick and scream.
push my way through.
tears flying and fears thrown out the window.
don't leave me here.
i hate to be alone.
dont abandon me.
i know i can be independent(with you).
dont leave.
i'll scream it again.
in another rage.
dont fucking leave.
i dont want to be alone.
12.28.01

'hug.me'
im sorry i let you in.
into my heart so deep.
so deep it hurts.
i get so scared.
scared of whats to come.
and what isn't.
it doesnt feel right when i think it's fake.
i need to know you're real.

i love to be embraced by your love.
i love to be held by you.
i simply love you.
but not until i know it is true.
not until i am certain.
certain of your love.
12.28.01

'another.phase'
my skin is forbidden.
how easily i could forget you?
just another addiction
seeping within me.
slip me another conviction.
doesn't phase me anyway.
12.30.01

your presence comforts me
and calms my raging conscience.

i can't find my mind.
i've lost all control.
my body is numb.
but it cant get any better.
the warmth and smell of this place.
it cures it all.
-ahh!i'm never getting out of your bed!-
1.2.02