'the.usual.immature.reaction'
i'm trying to be strong.
but i love you.
just as a part of you pushes me away for my own sake, a part of me tries to hold back, to make you happy(and feel free).
'the.worst.poem.ive.ever.written'
you keep telling yourself its right.
because you're making a fucking mistake.
i've gave it all i had and at least i never gave up.
and you gave it up.
dumbass.
12.19.01
yet again, i'm scared.
scared of falling out of love with you.
scared that we cant be just friends.
scared that you really are making a mistake.
i'm trying to be so fucking strong.
and that feeling, THAT feeling IS strong.
stronger than i think we know.
stronger than i think you want to admit it.
i'm scared of you.
i'm scared you just playing a dumb game of hard-to-get.
and yet again, i'm falling for you.
12.20.02
true love only comes around once in a lifetime.
and you keep fucking letting it go.
but this time, this time it's different.
you keep convincing yourself that you're doing the right thing.
just like you told yourself before that you were 'over loving me'.
well fucking keep on.
keep on convincing yourself.
you aren't listening.
you aren't doing the right thing.
i hate to be mean but you dont deserve love ever again.
and you'll never get it.
because you've let it go
and it only comes around once in a lifetime.