people tell me
i'm special
and you're lucky.
but i dont think i understand it.
i think you're the greatest thing to come into my life.
so far.
i respect you.
i love to listen to you talk.
i love to see you smile.
i love you.
but i also think you think i'm nothing.
i think you take me for granted.
i think you forgot how special i am.
but taking me for granted
is better than you not taking me at all.
when you call
my world stops.
nothing else matters.
i stop breathing.
but when i call
im bothering you.
im in the way.
you may say you care.
you may say im beautiful.
you may say i drive you crazy.
but the way you act to me sometimes.
doesnt say any of that.
it says
you're just another girlfriend.
you cant fall in love with me.
you're just for show.

ever stop to think how lucky we are?
lucky to have each other?
i dont think you ever stop
to think.
there are parts of me that you dont know.
just as i dont know half of you.
but im fragile, eoghan.
im not strong.
im not brave.
im not confident.
but i am deep.
i am loving.
most of all
for some reason
somehow
i am grateful.
7.12.01