you're always right
and i'm always wrong.
you make me seem weak
when i know i am strong.
you made me feel helpless and you're full of lies.
you made me sick
and all i did was cry.
stop.
in the name of love, they say.
but its never that easy.
not for us, anyway.
it was always me
that made the mistakes and breaking up.
but not this time.
you fucked up.
and thats it.
we are over.
who thought it'd be you giving up?

forget what i'm saying....
because i know i'm wrong, right?
i always was and you're right.

i'm sorry, as usual.

i love you.
9.17.01

tears roll down my face
as i think of what we had.
we didn't even realize
how well we slept together.
maybe i wish i was there right now.
with me taking up all the room
and you, holding me like i was in a dream.
with me taking up all the covers
and you, warm and loving.
of course, i could never sleep
but falling asleep while trying to breathe the same as you
is the only way to fall,anyway.
i loved it when you called me lover.
i loved it when you kissed my forehead.
i loved it when you told me i was beautiful.
i loved it when you looked me in my eyes deeply.
i loved it when you told me you loved me.
i hated it when you made me cry on my birthday.
i hated it when you told me to never call me again.
i hated it when you ended it all on my birthday.
i hated it when you broke my heart on my birthday.
i hate myself right now- for crying.
9.17.01