I will not waste chalk
|
I will not aim for the head
|
I will not skateboard in the halls
|
I will not barf unless I'm sick
|
I will not burp in class
|
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
|
I will not instigate revolution
|
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
|
I will not draw naked ladies in class
|
I will not conduct my own fire drills
|
I did not see Elvis
|
I will return the seeing-eye dog
|
Funny noises are not funny
|
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
|
I will not snap bras
|
Garlic gum is not funny
|
I will not fake seizures
|
They are laughing at me, not with me
|
This punishment is not boring and meaningless
|
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
|
My name is not Dr. Death
|
I will not encourage others to fly
|
I will not defame New Orleans
|
I will not fake my way through life
|
I will not prescribe medication
|
Tar is not a plaything
|
I will not bury the new kid
|
I will not Xerox my butt
|
I will not teach others to fly
|
It's potato, not potatoe
|
I will not bring sheep to class
|
I will not trade pants with others
|
A burp is not an answer
|
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
|
I am not a 32 year old woman
|
Teacher is not a leper
|
I will not do that thing with my tongue
|
Coffee is not for kids
|
I will not drive the principal's car
|
I will not eat things for money
|
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
|
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
|
I will not sell school property
|
The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
|
I will not cut corners
|
I will not squeak chalk
|
I do not have diplomatic immunity
|
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
|
I will not get very far with this attitude
|
Goldfish don't bounce
|
I will not make flatulent noises in class
|
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
|
I will not belch the National Anthem
|
No one is interested in my underpants
|
I will not sell land in Florida
|
I will not sell miracle cures
|
I will not grease the monkey bars
|
Underwear should be worn on the inside
|
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
|
The Christmas pageant does not stink
|
I will not do anything bad ever again
|
I will not torment the emotionally frail
|
I will not show off
|
I will not call the principal "spud head"
|
I will not carve gods
|
I will not sleep through my education
|
I will not spank others
|
I am not a dentist
|
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
|
Spitwads are not free speech
|
I will finish what I start
|
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
|
"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
|
High explosives and school don't mix
|
Hamsters cannot fly
|
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
|
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
|
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
|
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
|
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
|
I am not deliciously saucy
|
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
|
I will not send lard through the mail
|
I will not use abbrev.
|
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
|
Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
|
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
|
There are plenty of businesses like show business
|
I will not dissect things unless instructed
|
I will not hang donuts on my person
|
No one wants to hear my armpits
|
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
|
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
|
I will not strut around like I own the place
|
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
|
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
|
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
|
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
|
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
|
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
|
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
|
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
|
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
|
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr
|
I am not certified to remove asbestos
|
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
|
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
|
I will remember to take my medication
|
The boys room is not a water park
|
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
|
Nerve gas is not a toy
|
"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
|
The First Amendment does not cover burping
|
Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
|