Drunken Top 10

This is pretty self-explanitory but in case you were wondering a misfortune cookie is a bad luck fortune cookie. Just in case you didn't grasp the misfortune part.

Misfortune Cookie Fortunes

• 10. The waiters are cursing you out in vietnamese.
• 9. Just keep telling yourself it was an olive.
• 8. pay no attention to the asian guys with shovels running over to the pet cemetary.
• 7. wise man will not bend over to pick up soap in prison shower, but wiser man will not rob 7-11 and return later for a slurpee.
• 6. A bird in the dumpster next door is worth $12.95 on our menu.
• 5. Every rose has a thorn and all our waiters have crabs
• 4. The chef's hands are masturbation's workshop
• 3. People who live in glass houses should put some damn clothes on.
• 2. Never pet a burning dog or lick a frozen cat.
• 1. You will choke on this cookie and die.

Top Ten Kick-Ass Games

• 1. Final Fantasy III - The best RPG there ever was or will be.
• 2. Pong - Let's face it, if you don't like pong there's something wrong with you.
• 3. Warcraft II - Don't you just love clicking those critters until they explode?
• 4. Starcraft - The joy of being taunted by some guy who just destroyed one of your big-ass units and then nuking the crap out of him.
• 5. Street Fighter Series - The fun of seeing how Capcom will try to avoid actually putting the number three in this game is reason enough.
• 6. Super Bomber Man - The game that almost got me arrested.
• 7. Descent - No gravity and every corridor looks the same? Can you say vertigo?
• 8. Minesweeper - It took me 7 hours but i think i finally beat it. just one more tile and. . . NOOOOOOOO!!!
• 9. Computer Solitaire - Hmm, what time is it? 3 a.m.? Perfect, time for one more game.
• 10. Rock 'n Roll Racing - Fast cars, big guns, and the coolest rock music ever? I think I'm in heaven.

Top Ten People Who Should Die

• 10. Leonardo Decaprio
• 9. Celine Dion
• 8. Pauly Shore
• 7. Anybody who Likes the Above Mentioned Individuals
• 6. The Entire Cast of Friends
• 5. Anybody who Hates Dilbert
• 4. Anybody who Hates Anime
• 3. My Enemies
• 2. Anyone who Disagrees With Me
• 1. Of course, Decaprio

This Top Ten is Brought to you in Part by our Friends at CORE.

Top Ten Similarities Between Jello and Porno

• 10. Both are fun to make.
• 9. Cherry is a popular flavor in both.
• 8. Both make you drool.
• 7. Both are best jiggly.
• 6. There is always room for both.
• 5. Both should be served at drive-thru windows.
• 4. It's embarrassing to be seen "using" either.
• 3. Watching someone eat Jello isn't the same as experiencing, same with porno.
• 2. Women "wrestle" in porno, women SHOULD wrestle in Jello.
• 1. Jello + Porno = Bliss

Top Ten Reasons to Procrastinate

• 10. Algebra is forever but Star Trek is only on for an hour.
• 9. Later is the perfect time to do anything.
• 8. The siren's song of the PC.
• 7. I'd like to but instead. . . I won't.
• 6. This chair is so hard and my bed is soo soft.
• 5. My new Korn CD beckons me.
• 4. The siren's song of the N64.
• 3. I need to update my page.
• 2. Screw the page, time to check out game reviews.
• 1.