the FLAMING PHALLUS!!!on an angel's wing...

(12-05-03)Boy! What a busy phallus fall it's been! In case our fans were not aware, of course we are still together, but we are all of studying the scerets of the world. In fact, we have a fun little quiz for you-match each flaming phallus member with their unit of study! (1)Ze Weakling (2)Pinkle (3) Thor(4) The nonpersonality (5) the hearthrob, (thats me!) (a) Emotional Management-controlling the urge to sit in the corner and cry (b) Making It(the art of seduction)-the art of attracting the most number of males possible (c) Weight Lifting in the modern world-a history of weightlifting and butchness throughout history and how it differs from today (d) Conserving the Hermitage-a unit of study in how to ensure you never have to leave your house, emphasis on mass eating and as little exercise as possible (e) Nuclear Physics

you can find these answers in the history section of our website, well, now that you know what we're doing, tell us what you're doing on our guestbook! and use this bit of advice, if you are ever confused, simply below the word "parfait" and all will be solved, peace out my fellow fallusites. dr. dre.

FLAMING PHALLUS PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS A SHOW BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE OLD CENTRUM (520 E 12th street at 12th and Central) SAVE THE KIDS RILEY CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL BENEFIT SHOW!!! featuring: MARIONETTE, PEACHEAD, HENRY CAN'T DIE, UNIT, IDOLS ON FIRE, MELK THE G6-49, THE SWITCHKID, AND JIMFIX!!! THURSDAY JULY 31st AT 5pm, 5$, DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!!!

NEWS 6-9-03 Alright phellow phallus phans! Flaming Phallus has just returned from their WORLD TOUR and boy are our arms tired!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! No really, we had a great time in Russia, the Orient, Africa, Istnabul, Greece, Russia again, Canada, I visited my old pal Fidel, we had some chats, good times, he loves the phallus...then of course Russia again...BUT anyway, we sure are tuckered out, but not too tuckered out to record! We are going into the studio several times the rest of this month to finish up our 8th album entitled, "Hold your phallus tight, or we'll rock it off!" Don't be alarmed by the title, This album, as well as all our others is of course rated G for general audiences. Well, I think that's the news for now, check out our tour page for shots of our WORLD TOUR and be sure to check us out at the enterson on the 32nd of june! PHALLUS PHOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*We gotta get outta here!*
*Don't throw the CONG!*
*Fuji, Gala, Fuji, Gala!*
*He's a cold f***ing fish!*
*Get outta the kitchen, my son's gotta eat!*
*Your friends left you for dead!*
*Green, green ju ju bean, diet, diet, diet coke!*
*Did they see us on our faces?*
*Prepare to be justified!*
*You're beautiful!*


NEWS


(1/5/03) Happy new year fellow phallusites. (That's a disgusting and completely made up word.) Big news in Phallus world, the gals are going to be featured in a music video! That's right! And a movie! that's also right. Thanks to the directing talent of Miss Thor and Ryan Pennington, Flaming Phallus have moved from unofficial rock stars to unofficial moviestars, keep a lookout in the paper for the movie premiere showtimes!
(10/16/02)SUNDAY! PRACTICE! And yes, it IS a big deal...alright...so falll break's coming up soon, much excitement, the flaming phallus' name will be spread to evanston and the chicago area! where it will be known world wide!!! or at leats across the northeast/midwest area...and a possible cinncinatti trip is in the works..but the busniess there is personal...to defend the honor and good name..of everyone...on an angel's wing...the days are getting shorter...i hate that, soon when i get up to go to school it will be dark, and by the time the golden girls are on in the afternoon it'll be dark...it's so depressing...ahhhhh, well i'm gonna be emo and go sit in the corner and cry....hahaha, not really i just wanted to take that oppurtunity to make fun of whiny emo kids (not all, just the whiny ones) anyway, i am going to go to watch golden girls and sleep and write songs..in my head, i'm cagy...like a panther!
(10/10/02) Wow! It's been awhile (for me at least) since i've updated this, but don't be alaremed or decieved, i have been online like everyday anyway...yeah, it's dumb. ACK! So the girls should be practicing this weekend, but this damn hamlet essay is getting us down...but eh..what can you do!? I guess i dont really feel like typing in this. and there's really not much to say...balls!
(10/3/02)You were right i'm hangin' round because...light and sound won't seperate us from...them. OK so the flaming phallus has not practiced again yet but the mental preparation we do is enough to make us great, especially the slipknot imitation...what an incrdible band! DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!! My favorite golden girls is on and i'm too tired to watch it! oh bother! anyway, i don't think that everyone who has visited this site has signed the guestbook, this makes me sad...don't make me sad...you know what'll happen. I'll cry, that's right, and the tears will flow like quicksand (that's a line from one of our songs) On an angel's wing i flew...your smile could warm the heart of an unborn child...woo! ok, maybe the flaming phallus will have a newsletter! if you want a newsletter, let me know! mrs_evkc4727@yahoo.com, just write an email that says "i want a newsletter!" that's it, then you will belong to me forever! godnight then!
(9/28/02)Maybe I shouldn't keep my old updates on here because then everyone will know what a loser i am and how much im on the internet! yikes! look out! shaaaaaark! anyway...today was the big punk show at the emerson...i kept looking up on stage thinking how call the flaming phallus will look when we play there...ahhh i can just smell the success...ummm yes. it was a good show, the whole two bands i saw. And the AFC got many new members today which was very exciting. I also saw a show last night at tazzma's in lafayette. Also a very good show i must say...a great venue as well. Props to the old dancing man! I guess the FLAMING PHALLUS doesn't have any news for now...but we will....ohhhh we will, in the meantime, ANYONE who looks at this site, needs to sign the guestbook, when i'm being a loser and being on the internet all day i need amusing things to read. thank you...where's the funny!?
(9/26/02)ALRIGHT!!!It is as done as I can get it for now, without a scanner, pictures, music and shows...I think I did the best I could. But the Bio pages kick ass so make sure you get the most out of it. And go to all the other parts of the site to, they are all awesome...ahh, im tired and thats it for now....goodnight and God bless the flaming phallus!
(9/24/02)As of today, September 24, 2002, this site is now the new official site of the band "the Flaming Fallus!". As the web designer and member of the band, i am both a little sad yet excited at this change. Since this has been my personal website for so long, and at that, one that i only updated about once a year... you must be aware that the process of this new website will be a slow one as i reaquaint myself with the world of web design, but, if you have interest in the band, don't refrain from emailing me questions and the like, and as always, sign the guestbook!-andrea


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Email: mrs_evkc4727@yahoo.com