Click here to see the *Baby-Boy* report on the Teletubbies
From over the Pennines and far away,
Bradford Teletubbies fans come to play !
The following is a copy of our mission report:
"WARWICKSHIRE - Shakesphere country" said the signpost as we entered Warwickshire. But Shakesphere ain't what we came here to see. No sir! Following the directions on the map, we made our way to the village of Wimpstone, and travelled a further 1.5 miles, as we had been instructed. Did we find it ? Did we see the words "Sweet Knowle Farm" anywhere ? Did we buggery! After travelling around the whole of Warwickshire trying to find it, we decided to give it up for a few hours and go back to Stratford for dinner and a few pints.
We went to McD's for a big mac meal, and then to the Ragdoll shop to buy some lovely but overpriced merchandise. Then for some courage.... my my, there's some good pubs in Stratford ! The beers were so good that my father, responsible driver and teacher, couldn't stop. He'd had about five or six pints before he got back in the car with us, driving like a lunatic around the little country lanes near Stratford.
So, in our rather intoxcated state, we looked around Wimpstone for "Sweet Knowle Farm" everywhere. We couldn't find a trace. We asked people on the street but none of them had any idea. Travelling towards the village of Alderminster, we asked a woman walking her two dogs. She didn't know, but said that the post office might be able to help, so I went into the post office, bought a 25p drink and handed £2 over, telling the lady inside to keep the change but tell me where the hell Sweet Knowle Farm was !
"Oh yes, of course I can, darling !" she said. "What are you after, the fish or the Teletubbies ?". Eh ? Fish ? Without hesitation, I said "Teletubbies !"
"Oh, right, darling", said the woman, with a rather dissapointed look on her face. "You'll never see it, you know", she said sadly, "it's really secretive and well hidden. They won't let you near it. The only way to see it is by helicopter, like I have. "
"Oh", I said in a rather dissapointed way. I suddenly remembered Mark Fawcett's pictures, and mentioned that there were people who had managed to take photos of it. "Okay", she said, "You need to follow the signs for Avon Aquatics". (Make a note, people, that's AVON AQUATICS !). "Just go down this road here", she said, pointing, "And when you get to a T-junction, turn left. You should see the signs then. You should turn onto a steep, long driveway if you've followed the directions right. At the top, there's a track on your left. Follow it ". Thanking the lady profusely for her help, we were back in the car. Within three minutes, we had found Avon Aquatics. We got to the top of the drive and I saw a most strange object in the distance. It looked like a blue-coloured barn suspended in mid-air with a huge pole coming off it. It slowy dawned on me that this was the windmill, covered in a tarpaulin. Oh god. Here we go......
"WE'VE FOUND IT, WE'VE F*****G WELL FOUND IT! WE'RE HERE ! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA !!!! " We all shouted togethter. My dad came up to the gate in the car, and turned it round, ready for our escape. We had to walk on the side of a muddy ploughed field for a while, until we came to the hill with the windmill on top. The only thing seperating us from our favourite place in the world was a broken barbed wire fence. Austin and Lob jumped over straight away, but I hesitated, having read the stiff notice on the gate. They weren't gonnae wait for me, and had made it over the hill by the time I started to climb. I couldn't believe it. I was in Teletubbieland! But I couldn't stay there dazed for long. Just as I was about to get to the top, I heard the charachteristic barking of a very, very large dog. Oh crap. I started to run back over the field, falling over a few times as I did so. I shouted for the others, " SECURITY ! RUN! GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE ! ". When we were all back in the car, the security guard came up to my dad and told him he was trespassing. He said that we only wanted some 'photos.
"In that case", said the security guard, "you should have asked. We'd have let you on ! "
Noooo.... all for nothing. Mind you, I doubt they would have let us clamber about for them.
Aaaamyway... we got some ace 'photos of the dome and hills, etc. All the entrances, etc., were covered in tarpaulin, and the hole on the top of the dome doesn't exist in real life ! We also got some "behind the scenes" shots of portacabins, etc. We're going back in Spring to camp out in Stratford, and this time we'll ask to take some 'photos. If they decline this, however......... we won't be very happy. Will we now ?
Latest mission news !
We'll be going back in March 1998 - look out Warwickshire again !
P.S., BIG thanks to Mark Fawcett for his help. Visit his web site (link below) for some photos and a grid reference of Teletubbieland !
People on the mission - nicknames
Internet Mission Data - sources
Mark Fawcett's excellent pictures of rural Warwickshire, showing Teletubbieland and what it really looks like, including MAP REFERENCE !
Oliver's cute Teletubbies Site
Scott Philip's *wicked* Teletubbies page, with sounds, pictures, everything !
Hanzhi Tang's Teletubbies links page
Philip Tipper's excellent Tubby page