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Profile of a Lamer

Just what is a Lamer? We could cite examples for etnernity, or just refer you to out Lamer of the Month page to see one, but we have opted to draw up the definitive page on the anatomy of a Lamer. Research continues and we hope to have this up soon..............

Soon to be featured in the Brothers First Movie

Perhaps this is a typical Lamer??

Note the Dorkish haircut and poxy smile...

Or maybe this is????

Some thoughts that may put you in the Lamer Category:

1) If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife".
2) If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
3) If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas.
4) If you stare at an orange juice container 'cuz it says: CONCENTRATE
5) If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
6) If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
7) If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
8) If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
9) If you window shop at Dick Smith Electronics.
10) If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
11) If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
12) If you are convinced you can build a Star Trek PHASER out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment.
13) If you have no idea where the cover to your PC is.
14) If you own -Official Star Trek- anything.
15) If you have the urge to type or scream ASL if you see someone you don't know.
16) If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
17) If you have never backed-up your hard drive.
18) If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
19) If you see a good design and still have to change it.
20) If you can understand the Telstra Ads on TV.
21) If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
22) If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.
23) If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your car tires.
24) If your I.Q. number is greater than your weight.
25) If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
26) If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel but have seen most of the shows already.
27) If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use.
28) If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
29) If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time.
30) If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her.
31) If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
32) If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
33) If you thought the real heroes of -Apollo 13- were the mission controllers
34) If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get enough sleep.
35) If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
36) If you know what http:// stands for.
37) If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours.
38) If your lap-top computer is worth more than your car.
39) You have emailed someone calling themselves "sexxy-chic" and ended the email with Awaiting your reply...

To Be Continued.....


"We know who you are, do you?"