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So your child uses a DILDO?

One day your cleaning around the house. You reach your children's room...You accidentally knock their night stand, and then you hear a buzzing sound. You may think "AHHH BEES!', maybe just a cell phone, or some other thing. You might not think though of the very possible dildo. Yes I said dildo. Maybe in another situation where the dildos don't vibrate, that you were chasing a mouse and it went under the bed. You then feel some long, smooth, possibly has ribs. You are thinking 'Oh boy the mouse has a nest!' You pull it out to find that this 'mouse nest' has a flesh color with 2 balls. Uh-oh, someone found a DILDO! Yes a dildo. You can find these in many places, colors, and sizes. Boys and girls both use them.

You can find dildos In a night stand, shoes boxes, under beds, ceiling tiles, or even in someone's hand! If you ever find one, don't fret. Step 1, Place this item back in the EXACT place. You then wash your hands because this sex toy probably has been used, possibly by more than one person. Don't tell anyone! Word travels fast. Step 2, You look for diaries, journals, magazines, phone bills, etc. Step 3, Once you acquired all the proper information and determined who has been using it, you notify the necessary adults, then you deal with your own kids. Now this is the fun part. You sabotage them, maybe to break during use, harm your kids in some way, or even to miraculously disappear. If this dildo is your son's you should put surface cracks in it, so then when he is using it beaks and gets stuck. Then he will have to tell.

Girls most likely use dildos because they are not getting action from anyone else, they are so horny that they can't wait, or they use them with other girls, which means they are LESBIANS! If you are absolutely sure that your daughter is not a lesbian, then you should talk to her about safe sex, cause obviously she is craving sex. It may be hard, but you have to do it.

Boys use dildos for no other reason but ANAL PLEASURE. This is bad because that means they are either Bi-Sexual, or Homosexual. We really don't need either in today s society of lingerie models and porno magazines. We want our boys to be straight as a fresh cut board. Do you really want sausage craving homos defending our nation, or being our leaders? NO! So serve your nation proudly by making your sons GAY FREE! For the sake of the nation, and surrounding nations.

Now that you have the proper knowledge of Dildos and what to do when your children are using them, go out there and deal with them all!

-Dr. Dan