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As a child I was the kid always picked on, bullied. I moved a couple times and now where I live, I'm the kid that no one notices. I made this site, not only as a record of my pain, but to let others know, that if they feel the same way I do, they are not alone. As for me, I shall always be alone. If you want to tell me something, then go here. I failed at fixing my font problem... so I just changed all the fonts to ones most computers should have. The site isn't as good as the original, or the way it should have been, but I suppose this is as good as it'll get.
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Most people say they want to die quietly in their sleep, but not me. I want to die a noble death, a death that will get me the recognition I never got in life... is it sad I've wanted death my entire life?

Do you know what its like waking up every morning wishing you weren't awake? Spending every waking moment in sheer agony?

Why do all the stories you are told when you are a kid have happy endings? What does that prepare you for? It only weakened me...

My whole life I was alone, I hated people because of their opinions of me, yet, the pain is the worst when I am alone... why?

I live day to day thinking that I am not good at anything, that I have no trade... that started a track of thinking for me, now I believe I am to die an early death. For I am useless.

Have you ever wanted to share your anger with the world?

Why is it so hard to talk to some people? Do the words we say ever matter in a year? Of course they don't, then why is it so hard to talk to some people?

Why am I so obsessed with the thought of love, but still, I'm in love with my loneliness?

Does it bother you that someone is afraid to talk to you?

I hate my appearance so much because on the outside I don't look like I feel on the inside.

Do you ever question the way the world works and end up hating it more?

As your laying in bed at night, do you ever want to break down and cry because you hate your life so much?

I have often thought of suicide, but why is it whenever I do, there are somethings, or people, I'm afraid of never seeing again?

Why do I hate myself so much, but I created such an egoistical website?

I feel jealous towards all those who are not alone. I feel sadness day in and day out. Happiness is non-existent. Love, probably the only hope I have left and even that is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I hate my life.

My desire to be with the other sex is too great, even though I can't always be. That desire is the cause of most of my pain. Damn my testosterone.

Does it seem like everything you say is just a big mistake?

Is it naive to think love can heal all my wounds?

If I had skill, I would do heroic deeds for the sake of recognition. If I had power, I'd destroy everything for the sake of destruction.

Most people view death as the end. I view death as liberation from life.

I've never relied on anyone, why would I need to? In the end the only one you can truly rely on is yourself... I even question that sometimes.

Why is it this hard to contain all my rage?

If I could do anything, non-destructive (I had to give myself some limitation), I would make a beautiful floating island. To me, nothing would be more magnificent than looking down at the clouds.

Why is it that everything always happens to someone else?

Have you ever felt like your entire life has collapsed around you, and your stuck doing what your doing now forever?

Imagine immortality... Watching the world grow, see people go in and out your life. If you were immortal, it wouldn't matter if you were alone, because it's a guarantee that you'd be alone in the end. We, as mortals, change so much through our lives... imagine how much we'd change if we lived forever. Something that makes being alone okay, oh how I need immortality.

A lifetime of hatred is better than a moment of emptiness.

Why is it I'm torn more with every thought of the one I love? If I love her... shouldn't I feel better? Or is it because I know nothing will happen? Either way, I hate my life more with every desire.

I can't explain this pain... it just comes on without warning. I'll be listening to a song, or watching tv, and just become suicidal. When that happens I stare off in space, usually at the floor, thinking about how much it would be better if I didn't feel this way, if I didn't live...

My god... what have I become? When I was younger, I knew I'd feel this pain at this age. I told myself I won't be like that, I wouldn't do drugs, I wouldn't commit suicide... how damn naive was I back then?

I'm a lazy, ugly, imperfect, narcissist. My voice is hard to hear, hard to use and hard to listen to. My thoughts, eyes, ears, all decieve me. I've lost all sense of what's real and what's in my mind. You can only imagine what that would do to someone.

I'd prefer to have sheer pain, rage and hatred then some of each with jealousy thrown in.

"Nothing good can last"... no truer words have ever been spoken.

Is what I think is real, really true? My reality is no more than an illusion. What is real is what I can't see. And what I can't see is what people think. Not knowing hurts more than anything.

All I want to do is fuck. I'm torn because I know it's just my testosterone that makes me want to do so. It's hard to ignore that need... but, I know it's not who I am. I know I'm not some typical horny bastard that would use someone for sex. Maybe I'm wrong... fucking testosterone, it makes me doubt who I am.

Recently, I've experienced a wide range of emotions. An inconsistency in how I feel... at last! Proof that there is nothing more to our life than a chemical balance inside our head.

I've never felt more alone. Why is it that the only thing to ease my pain is out of my reach? Please... I don't want to be alone anymore.

I have lost the will to live. I no longer feel of any use, no one cares for me and no one wants me. If I were to die, I would not be missed. This I know.

I make how I feel obvious. Please, can't someone show that they acknowledge my existence? Can't those who I perceive as my friends, even acknowledge me?