What You'll Wish You'd Known

http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html

I want friends for a lifetime, jokes with no punch line because a punch line means the end.  I want eternity, but  I only want it for a second.  Eternity would be lonely to live alone.  I want it so I know, just to see what it's like. 

I've felt restless for so long.  I've coasted doing nothing, expecting everything.  Yet I still can't take action.  I can't wait for it and at the same time I hope it never comes.  I want to try winning, but I'm horrified of falling short.

I'm writing again becuase I feel inspired, something I was lacking before.  I found my inspiration in a new friend, someone who wanted an outlet from their daily life.  The zealous, romantic, hopelessly artistic person jolted me with the realization that my journal used to be like that and that it wasn't like that anymore.  Too much entertainment drains thoughts.  I found myself feeling hungover on a Monday morning, when I had drunk only on Saturday.  I almost want to spiral out of control.  I want to lose my sanity and responsibility to anything that will take them.  Alochol provides a temporary respite