These are the contenders for second place and my reasons as to why they don't have the "muscle" (no pun intended) to do the job.
Gary Coleman:
Oh, come on! He's so short I could step on him and make a little Gary Coleman pancake! I could eat his heart out with a miniature spoon like babies have! He hasn't been around for years! This is the worst contender for governor ever! What schlock!
Arianna Huffington:
She's not a good candidate! I mean, come on, a columnist? What idiot would vote for a columnist? Vote for a movie star! Plus, she's a woman... What schlock!
Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamate:
Cruz Bustamate is a racist! I read it somewhere, and everything you read is true! At least that's what I read! What schlock!
Angelyne:
What does she have to offer California? Nothing she hasn't offered already! What schlock!
Larry Flynt:
I respect this man's work and think that he is a great man. His reputation of being an A-class man precedes him. Larry Flynt is the best person in the entertainment industry, and he is by far one of the greatest Americans it has ever been my pleasure to read magazines from. Once elected, I will gladly offer him a place in my cabinet.
Governors get cabinets, right?
Everyone else:
Come on, who are these people? It's just a whole bunch of idiots who want to get an ego boost. Unlike me.
