Redneck Logic
(From Sick Sick Shit - www.angelfire.com/ky2/sick)

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard." replied the professor.

"That's real good." the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "GAWL-LEEE!!"

"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Sally Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual rather than homosexual" said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of.

I can't wait to take this here logic class." Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.

"What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're a queer, ain't ya?"