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You know when you see grown men puking, you've somehow managed to take a wrong turn into the fucked up world of...

Sick Sick Shit

Puke Bitch!

Main Menu
Get ready to get offended!

Sick Sick Sex
(The list that started it all! A list of the most disgusting sexual positions and situations imaginable!)

Which Olsen Twin Will First?
(The interactive feature where you, yes you, get to vote on weither it will be Mary-Kate Olsen or Ashley Olsen that fucks up first! Vote now!)

The Great Fej vs. Baron War
(I bet your friends don't send you e-mails like this!)

Ramblings of a Madman
(I have really bizarre friends. This is an e-mail from a friend of mine. He's, um..."special".)

E-mail Fun
This is a collection of funny e-mail shit I have gotten. Unless otherwise stated, I didn't write any of the following shit. So feel free to copy and paste any of the following and send it to your sick ass friends and family members. But PLEASE keep the website plug underneath the title when you send, or list this website address in the e-mail so people know where you got it. And if any of this shit is yours and is copyrighted, fuck ya, sue me! I got all this shit sent from various people in e-mails and didn't loot anything from any other websites. If you don't like it, eat my nuts.

20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters
(Give the little candy-grubbing pricks something to remember this Halloween!)

(A guy alone with his buddy's wife and $200 cash, what's gonna happen? Hilarious joke that has given me ideas...)

4 Sons
(Four guys on the golf course talking about how proud they are of their sons. Great joke!)

(Along the same lines as the "$200" joke above. A buddy goes to a friend's house and is offered a proposition by his wife... Yet another joke that has given me ideas!)

55 Great Bumper Stickers
(Hilarious! Most of these are right on the money!)

A Bad Day
(The jellyfish incident. Fucking hilarious true-life story!)

A Job Well Done
(A couple on their 25th wedding anniversary. It's about sex and old people, so you know it's funny!)

Anger Management
(Great funny story about revenge! A couple guys made the mistake of being rude to the original author of this story and have to deal with the consiquences!)

A True Friend
(True to life poem on REAL friendship. This should be a Halmark card!)

Acceptable Excuse
(The college professor gets one over on one of his smart-assed students!)

Airplane Conversation
(A man and a beautiful nymphomaniac woman sitting next to each other on an airplane...)

Annual Checkup
(A 90 year old man goes in for his annual checkup and boasts about his 18 year old wife.)

The Anti-Chain Letter
(Here's something to send to all those assholes who forward you those stupid ass chain letters. Unless you're the asshole who sends them out, in which case you need to read this.)

Assassin Training
(The CIA is hiring a new assassin. Two men and one woman are being considered, but they have to pass one last test... This story has a very good moral to it!)

Bar Translations
(The real meaning behind things often said at the bar)

Battle Asses!
(I found this on The Best of Craigslist and couldn't stop laughing. Supposibly a true story!)

Bedroom Golf - Rules For Playing
(If you're gonna play the course, you gotta know the rules!)

A Beer Before It Starts
(A man comes home from work and asks his wife to get him a few beers. This is not just a joke, but very true to life!)

Beer Study
(A recent study found female hormones in beer! If you're a man and you drink beer, you should read this!)

Beer Troubleshooting
(A tech support manual for being drunk!)

Billy "Smiley" Evans
(A head, a burlap sack, leaves, internal cat turds! Won't you please help this little boy?)

A Blonde in Europe
(A blonde, about to commit suicide, is offered a reason to live...a free trip to Europe! But keep in mind, this is a blonde...)

Chain Letter Thanks
(A sum-up in the form of a thank you letter to all that we have learned from stupid-ass chain letters!)

Chinese Proverbs
(Confucious say...)

Christmas With Louise
(A story of a traditional family Christmas dinner? Not exactly!)

Construction Kid
(A precious five year old girl helps out a construction crew. Sounds gay and all cutesy right? Wait 'til the punchline.)

Dallas Cowboys Quiz
(Let's find out just how much we can piss off Cowboys fans!)

Dead Catholic School Girls
(C'mon now, it's about Catholic school girls, you already know it's going to be a sexual joke!)

Dead Ugly People
(A bunch of ugly people get killed and go to heaven, at which time they are given one last wish...)

Did Ya Ever Wonder...?
(Did ya ever wonder why... Kind of like Andy Rooney, but actually funny)

Dream Days for Mars and Venus
(A comparison of just what would be a dream day for men and for women. The man's dream day couldn't be more right!)

Eleven Letters
(The Sept. 11th attacks on the USA were a tragedy to say the least, yet we're still able to pull a little humor out of the paranoid retards that think the attack has some sort of significance in the number 11.)

Escaped Convict
(An escaped convict breaks into a home of a young couple and ties them up. Doesn't sound like a setup for a joke, yet it is!)

Etch-A-Sketch Tech Support
(A company decides to do away with computers and replaces them with Etch-A-Sketches. This is the tech support FAQ.)

Gay Bob
(A horrible way to learn about your butt! Mean spirited joke here.)

Girls Night Out
(Two drunk girls peeing in a cemetary... Very funny joke!)

Horoscope For Life
(Fuck all those other Horoscope readings. This is the only one you will ever need for the rest of your life. And I guarentee it's right on the money!)

Hot Dwarf Action
(The Seven Dwarfs ask the Pope about dwarf nuns. Great joke!)

Hotel Soap Incident
(Supposibly a true story about a hotel snafu involving bombarding this guest with those little soap bars. Just read how this situation gets progressively worse for the guy after making a small request. Funny!)

How To Take A Poop At Work
(A survival guide, complete with definitions, for the workplace squatter, and those of us who are forced to deal with them on a daily basis!)

How To Wash A Cat
(If you have a cat, you're gonna love this idea! And if you hate cats, you're also gonna love this idea!)

The Importance of Using Correct Email Addresses
(Make sure you double check the email address you're sending to, or something like this could happen!)

(A man and his wife, a shotgun wedding 20 years ago...)

Jokes To Offend Everyone
(The title says it all!)

Let's Talk
(Two guys seated next to each other on an airplane, one wants to talk... Great joke!)

The Lucky Frog
(A man finds a lucky frog who gives helps him with his best golf game ever, and wins him millions. But what does it want in return?)

Macaroni & Beef
(A man, Ryan's Steakhouse, 4 macaroni & beef hot plates... One of the greatest funny stories you'll ever read in your life! Now includes an email to me from the original author of this story!)

Male / Female Definitions
(A few ways Men and Women define words differently)

The Man Code
(Rules all men have to follow! An absolute MUST READ!)

March 20th - A New Holiday Idea
(This is absolutely the greatest holiday I have ever heard of! This will replace Christmas and New Years as everyone's favorite holiday...well, maybe not everyone.)

Marriage Jokes
(Commitment...or new pussy?! Commitment...or new pussy?! Some of these make ya think twice.)

The Men Rules
(General rules from all men for women to try and follow as closely as possible. Post these on your fridge!)

New Rules
(A take-off on the "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" show. Very funny and very true words of wisdom here.)

The New Student
(Suzuki is new to the USA and in his first day of school, kicks some unconventional knowledge of US History!)

The Non-Experienced Chili Taster
(A guy from the East Coast is asked to judge a chili contest down in Texas. Great story that just keeps getting worse!)

The Parrot
(A guy goes into a pet store and meets a parrot with no feet, but an amazing grasp on the English language...)

Pearls of Wisdom
(Several key points to life that they never taught you in school, but most of us definitely could use!)

(Fuck Plato and Homer and all those other old-school BC pricks, this is true-to-life philosophy here!)

Pleasing Women
(A group of women, a five-story hotel, five floors each with a different type of man, which one do you think they pick?)

Priceless Wedding
(Supposibly this is a true story. If so, this is one of the greatest revenge stories I have ever heard of!)

Redneck Logic
(Bubba and Cooter go to college...and figure out how to use logic!)

Red Riding Hood
(What happens when Little Red Riding Hood bothers the wolf!)

Senior Bus Tour
(A joke involving sexual harrassment, the elderly, and a hairpiece, just plain funny!)

Should Kids Witness Childbirth?
(A 3 year old witnesses her mother giving birth, but doesn't quite understand what she has just seen.)

Speaking Politically Correct
(How to speak politically correct about the opposite sex)

Take Your Choice
(A Man, his wife, the dog, a fishing trip, and three choices... how's that for a classic setup? One of the more disgusting jokes I have on here!)

Taliban Singles
(Looking for that hot Taliban woman... or goat? Then check out these personals! Complete with pictures!)

The Test
(A man about to be married gets seduced by his fiance's younger sister...)

Things Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
(A list of things that you really can't say when you're drunk.)

Things Parents Learn From Their Children
(True life truths you just have to learn from your children the hard way!)

Things To Do At Wal-Mart
(Everybody should try at least a few of these at least once, and Wal-Mart would be a much funner place! These are just plain freakin hilarious!)

The Tiger Puzzle
(Hey look, a blonde joke, imagine that! Have you heard the one about the Blonde trying to put together a puzzle of a tiger?)

Top 25 Signs You've Grown Up
(How many of these apply to you?)

Turndowns To Bad Pickup Lines
(Snappy comebacks for lame pickup lines. Study these before going to the bar tonight!)

'Twas The Night Before Christmas
(I wrote my own twisted version of this Christmas classic.)

'Twas The Night Before Sexmas
(Yet another rendition of the Christmas classic. It doesn't matter if it's Christmas time or July, because this one is about sex, and sex is funny year-round.)

Unusual Job Application
(This is supposibly a true job application turned in to a McDonalds. I wish we could all be this honest when filling out job applications!)

Warning Labels for the Consumption of Alcohol
(How many of these warning labels would have helped you out before?)

We've Always Done It That Way
(Not so much of a joke as it is a history lesson. Learn about how a horse's ass had so much effect on our history!)

Why I Fired My Secretary
(It's this man's 35th birthday and noone seems to notice, except his sexy secretary.)

(Truths Children and Adults have learned about life, and the four stages of life.)

Women Jokes
(Some surefire jokes to get some feminists' panties all in a bunch!)

Women vs. The Taliban
(A great argument for women in the military!)

Words of Wisdom
(Some great assorted thoughts and observations)

Keep checking back often, as I will be adding more E-mail Fun shit, more Sick Sick Sex shit, and god knows what else as I get it.

Even more time-wasting shit!

Hate Mail
(Some people just have to piss and moan and ruin everyone's fun!)

Intro Page
(There are a lot of great links to webrings that I'm a part of on the Intro Page, featuring shitloads more humor websites like mine.)


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Co-conspirators: Shaggy D., Matt J., John W., Brent "The Baron" W., Tony W., Bob B., and everyone who has ever submitted anything for this site!

Yoda's the fuckin' mack!