Ramblings of a Madman!
(From Sick Sick Shit - www.angelfire.com/ky2/sick)

I have this friend, let's just call him "Matt", who is a bit...um...different sometimes. Well, it seems he got drunk one night and decided to e-mail me. It's an interesting e-mail to say the least. It was an acid trip contemplation, only he wasn't on acid, just drunk. And why the hell does Spooky (a nickname for a friend of ours) play so heavily into all this? Well, see if you can make sense of this. Is he serious? Is he joking? Has he forseen the end? Is he just a rambling drunk jackass who had no idea of what he was writing and was just making this shit up as he went along? I bet your friends don't send you e-mail like this. I have weird friends though.

Re: American man, Man
Date: 2/3/02 10:44:50 AM Central Standard Time
From: (e-mail address deleted to protect the moronic)

Hello my fellow American brother,

I hope one day you learn to die for your people. I hope one day you learn to breathe the air of satisfaction that you, one day, will become assimilated into the progression of the forward movement which talks big with a lot of fancy terms and measures indicitive in the animation of the play when Spooky steals your soul. Yeah, your Goddamn right. Spooky will steal your soul. If you don't believe me then just look at yourself in the mirror. You don't have a soul anymore. Your eyes are empty with the contemplation of the loss of idea and the degeneration of the felling. You hold yourself against something for every measurement of your forward progression. You draw blood from your own hand so you can give your soul to Spooky. Your GODDAMN RIGHT!!! Spooky is coming to take your soul and soon you will transfer to the underworld of eternal peril and soulless vindication. Look at yourself. You divine to people the designation of bullshit. You stand at the foot of the mountain, the steps of the temple, the base of the pile. The bottom. The end and the beginning. The process of elimination creeps by the name of Spooky and devoures your soul. Listless you lay on your own huddled mass of creation; emulating eternity, spelling out the names and the subjects that hold your mind----that hold your mind like a pair of vice grips clenched with perplexion (if that is a word). Then it all makes sense, and Spooky takes your living soul. He takes your essentiality and replaces it with responsibility. Now Spider Murphy don't play no saxiphone and Wolfman Jack don't run the radio. WE jump at cracks of uncomfort and slip on lines of inevitablity. This ain't the day the music died. Hell, that was just a song--this the day that Spooky takes the testament of your living soul and you can't do a damn thing about it!!! Spooky will take ownership of your soul and designate a resurrection of multiple choice. Now you can have a menu all the time , A.,B., or C.(not to forget D., E., or the occasional F.) You may now become truely Spooky.

Peace out Detroit,

P.S. - God bless America

And my response:
Dear American Bad Ass,

What the fuck are you talking about? How did Spooky figure into this equasion? It just doesn't add up. You say you were just drunk when you wrote this? That was an acid trip contemplation. The funny thing is that I guarentee it took you hours to come up with and write all that shit out. And how the hell can you spell that goddamn good when you're drunk? You should go to Twice Told and read this on poetry night, as noone will know what you are talking about, so it will be considered art. Anyway, throw your devil horns up and show me some Metal and salute your email with me!

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago,

And just so I don't lose it, I sent this to said madman above on January 19, 2011, retouching on his previous old email. Now don't a'go gettin' all offended n' shit, we's just a'goofin' off here. This is mock racism and not reality. Enjoy!

Brother Matthew T. J.,

Brother we need to talk a little bit here about the “Liberal Media”, and just what that entails. Now Brother, the “Liberal Media” would have you believe that the assertion of the “African American” male in modern society is the assentation of the theoretical downfall within the spirit of the radio. That they would have you read between the lines of the very soul of the machine that is blissfully unaware of the direction in which the white man now resides. Think about it. You talk with very big words, most of which are superimposed on the fabric that makes up the declaration of our true Brotherhood within OUR community. The 13 words have grown to well more than 24, which is derivative of the sum of the division in which we base our whole reality. Hell, it might as well be “Sweet Home Alabama”, if you know what I mean! Brother, we have become assimilated into the progression of the forward movement which separates and inseminates our white brothers and sisters minds to the tune of “I Got You Babe”, indicative in the animation of the play when Obama steals your whiteness. Yeah, you’re goddamn right! Obama will steal your whiteness. If you don't believe me then just look at yourself in the mirror. You are not white anymore. Your eyes are empty with the contemplation of the loss of your inner whitey and the degeneration of the feeling. You delve deep within your soul to cut the hand and draw the blood of your cracker heritage, then bleed into the garbage pail held by the hands of the “Liberal Media”, Obama, and quite possibly Glenn Danzig. You bake the figurative cookies that you peddle at the metaphoric bake sell in the gymnasium of the high school that once was Proud White Man High School, but has now been renamed Crush Whitey Middle School, with all proceeds going directly to the “Liberal Media”! And you pay 6% tax on top of it! It’s like Jesus once said in the book of Austin, verse 3:16; “Thou hast befallen my chosen people, the WHITE people! And if ye has faith in me, as that of the mustard seed, then ye shall speak forth unto thee and spread the word of mine, which is this: Nigga nigga get on a boat. Nigga nigga row. Nigga nigga get outta here. Nigga nigga GO”! Ok, so it was either Jesus or Ian Stewart from Skrewdriver. I can’t remember exactly. Regardless, the fact of the matter and the reality of the matter is that your dogma is wearing thin, partner. The imperative indoctrination of the liberal government and the transparency therein whereas Obama dictates, prostrates, and deliberates the facilitation of the degradation that is the emancipation proclamation of YOUR white skin! Now Brother, Dale Earnhardt don’t sing no blues, and there ain’t nothin’ average about the Average White Band neither. WE jump at the cracks of hypocrisy. Fuck Humpty, maybe our sound AIN’T laid down by the Underground! And maybe we all should fall back on the knowledge that Martha Stewart’s vagina isn’t made of gold, but probably smells of cat piss and vinegar all the same. We divine to our people the designation of bullshit. Brother, the process of elimination creeps by the name of Obama and devours your whiteness. This ain't the day of the rope. Hell, that was just a Juice Newton song. This the day that Obama takes the testament of your living whiteness and you can't do a damn thing about it!!! Now the “Liberal Media” would have you to believe that the white race was wiped out by Juggalos. But just know that WHITEsnake sang “Still Of The Night”, Great WHITE sang “Rock Me”, and Barry WHITE sang “I'm Qualified to Satisfy You”! Put all that together and what does that spell? Yeah, now wrap your head around THAT! Brother, defy the dissertation of assimilation brought forth by the status quo of the hypocritical puppets of society that defines the literal erroneous that we all must aspire to be that of a gay black man in the 90’s. Now stand up and scream “I will not do the gay man at a rave dance any longer”! For this is truly our time to shine! For now we are truly Spooky!

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