Escaped Convict
(From Sick Sick Shit -

A man escapes from prison where he has been locked up for 20 years. He breaks into a home to find money and guns, but finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, then starts tying the girl to the bed. While tying the girl to the bed, he leans over and kisses her on the neck, then gets up and walks into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells the wife: "Listen honey, this guy's probably an escaped convict, just look at his clothes! He probably has spent lots of time in there and hasn't seen a girl in years. I saw how he kissed you neck. If he demands sex, don't resist or complain, just do what he says. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If we anger him, he may kill us. Be strong honey, I love you!"

The wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too!"

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