A Bad Day
(From Sick Sick Shit - www.angelfire.com/ky2/sick)



Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repair on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is a letter he sent to his sister. She then sent it to 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft. Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won. This is what she turned in to the contest.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from the bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my unique situation/dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cold. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water straight out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm relaxing water. It's like working in a bubbling Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I tried to scratch it. This only made things a lot worse. Within several seconds my butt started to burn, and was getting worse by the minute. I pulled the hose out from by back, but the damage was done.

MY BUTT WAS ON FIRE!!!.

In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a live jellyfish and pumped it into my wet suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. So it was just flopping around. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish INTO my butt. I frantically radioed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the two-way communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically at my situation.

Needless to say I wanted to abort the dive immediately. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet, along with sporting a red hot ass. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it in my crack as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream eventually put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 whole days because my butt hole was actually swollen shut.

So the next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved between your butt cheeks.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."


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