JR: “We are live wired, we are jacked, we are ready, and most of all we are all hardcore!! Welcome everyone to EHW’s Cyberslam, the top efed pay per view you’ll find anywhere! And appropriately for the second straight year we are coming to you tonight from the city that is the home to Microsoft Seattle Washington I am Jim Ross along with. .”
JG: “Along with . Joel ‘the man with the hardest disk drive in the business, whom the ladies love to drive on the information super highway just so they can stop at my toll booth of love. Where I always press the right keys, and disconnect them from reality because I bang them so hard that they overload with pleasure after I put my diskette into their drive!’ Gertner."
JR: “We have an action packed, hardcore card for you tonight with all of the titles in EHW on the line and we are gonna start off the show with a title defense of the EHW Television title. Let’s go to the ring and start Cyberslam 2001.”
** “Big” comes on and the massive Big Show walks out to the ring towering over all of the fans to his right and left behind the steel guardrail. Big Show gets into the ring and throws his right arm up in the air and yells out making the sign for the Chokeslam. The lights go orange as “War Machine” is heard and Taz makes his way to the ring in his wrestling attire with the belt around his waste. Taz gets into the ring, and takes the towel off of his head and holds up the EHW TV Title after removing it from his waste. Taz hands the belt to the ref and the bell is rung for the first match of the night.**
JR: “Talk about David vs. Goliath EHW style Joel. Paul Wight is over seven feet tall, Taz is just about five feet eleven inches in height.”
JG: “Taz has fought big men before, he is the Human Suplex Machine. Tonight he probably won’t be able to suplex Big Show, but he is the best mat wrestler I have ever seen. He beat Bret Hart in a straight wrestling match last year at Bash at the Beach and I know that he can pick Big Show apart just be keeping him on the mat.”
Taz and Big Show walk into the center of the ring and face each other, Big Show goes to lock up with Taz but Taz ducks and gets behind Big Show. Taz shoulder tackles Big Show’s left leg knocking Big Show forward and causing him to merely stumble. Taz stands up and dropkicks the left knee of Big Show sending Big Show leaning against the ropes. Taz bounces off the opposite ropes, charges Big Show, and clotheslines him over the top rope and to the outside. Big Show lands on his left knee causing it to buckle and crashing Big Show to the arena floor. Taz wastes no time and goes to the outside of the ring, Taz loosens the steel ring steps, then picks them up over his head. Big Show gets up on one knee and Taz runs forward and nails Big Show right between the eyes with the steel ring steps. Big Show goes down on his back, Taz lifts the ring steps over his head and drops them on Big Show’s left knee. Big Show yells in pain as Taz walks over to the ring announcers table, gets a steel chair, folds it, and walks back over to the fallen Big Show. Taz stands next to Big Show and jams him in the left knee with the end of the chair five times and then hits Big Show upside his head with it. Taz puts the chair lying down beside him. Taz picks Big Show up keeping him bent over and gives him a DDT on the steel chair. Big Show favors his neck as Taz puts the chair in the ring and then gets into the ring himself and waits for Big Show to get up on the outside. Big Show gets up to one knee and then slowly gets up to his feet but is unable to stand up straight on his left knee. Big Show rolls into the ring and Taz immediately gives him a running elbow drop. Big Show starts to get up until Taz rakes his eyes and then gives him a swinging neck breaker. Taz gets up and calls for the end of the match, Taz picks Big Show up on one knee. .and then locks on the Tazmission!! Taz pulls back on the hold and Big Show immediately taps out, Taz wins!
JR: “For the second straight match since his return, Taz has shown complete dominance against his opponent. This time against a man three times his size.”
JG: “Well this proves what Taz proved in ECW years ago, and that is that he is not a gimmick. He is a legit bad ass and he should be taken seriously by everyone.”
JR: “This next match will be an Anguish in Chains match that was made just days ago on Turmoil.”
JG: “For some reason, Chris Jericho who returned after an illness decided to attack Booker T before his match with Edge and challenged him to this match. I don’t know what the connection is but it should be a good match Ross.”
**Chains of all different lengths and thicknesses are placed in the ring and around the ringside with the biggest and thickest chain being held by the ref with will be attached to the wrists of the wrestlers. The music of Harlem Heat is heard as Booker T comes out to the ring to a small reaction from the crowd. Booker T gets into the ring and poses for the cameras and for the crowd but again gets a small reaction. The lights go out and pyros go off as Y2J’s music hits and the crowd goes wild as Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring. Jericho enters the ring and looks around the crowd and then has his left wrist attached to a long thick chain that is also attached to the left wrist of Booker T as the match is ready to begin.**
JG: “I haven’t seen this many chains since I went to that brothel in Miami Beach.”
JR: “I should be grossed out but you were due for a sick line since we are in our second match and that was only your first.”
JG: “Well the best is yet to come from the Quintessential Studdmuffin.”
Both wrestlers gain some leverage on the chain and then lock up in the center of the ring. Booker takes Jericho over with a side headlock but Jericho immediately counters it with a belly to back suplex. Jericho immediately gets up and takes the chain that him and Booker are attached to and whips Booker with it on his back as he is getting up. Booker crawls over and grabs a rolled up thick chain about four feet long and hits Jericho in his right leg with it and Jericho falls down to the mat. Booker gets up, he wraps half of the chain around his knee and attempts a leg drop but Jericho rolls out of the way and Booker nails his leg against the chain. Jericho gets up, he walks over to the near left corner of the ring, gets a choke chain, and wraps it around his right fist. Jericho picks Booker up on both his knees and delivers first to his face and forehead busting Booker open. Jericho rolls to the outside and picks up a very thick, very long rolled up chain and brings it right back into the ring. Jericho rolls that chain up and places it next to the chain Booker used and picks Booker up to his feet. Jericho takes Booker and gives him his patented Double Powerbomb on the rolled up chains! Jericho takes Booker and attempts to lock him in the Walls of Jericho but Booker grabs onto Jericho’s hair and doesn’t let him turn him over. Booker pushes Jericho away and gets up to his feet; Booker gets up and gives Jericho a scissor kick to his stomach. Booker bounces off the ropes and goes for his Axe Kick but Jericho pulls on the chain and punches Booker right in his nuts! Booker goes down and Jericho again goes to lock on the Walls of Jericho, but Booker taks the slack of the chain and hits Jericho in the head with it knocking Jericho away. Booker rolls over and starts to get up to his feet but Jericho charges and dropkicks Booker right in the face and knocks him over the top rope. But Jericho pulls on the chain and hangs Booker in the air by his wrist. Jericho runs and dropkicks Booker in the back of his head causing him to go flying forward. Jericho doesn’t get out of the ring; he just pulls on the chain and brings Booker back into the ring. Jericho wraps one of the very thick chains around his fist and gives Booker a haymaker punch to the side of his head with it knocking him down and out. Jericho runs off the ropes, leaps, and hit’s the Lionsault!! Jericho makes a cover, 1..2.3 Jericho wins!
JR: “Well folks surprise surprise we are going to change the format and content of our show.”
JG: “Noo, EHW doing something unprofessional. I’m shocked!”
JR: “Thanks for humoring us Joel, I have been informed that two match types have been changed for two of the matches here tonight. Our next match for the Deathmatch Title has been made a Man in a Box match, and the IC Title contest which was supposed to have that match type will now be according to special request by both of the wrestlers will be a TLC match but the C in this match stands for Cains.”
JG: “So it’s gonna be tables, ladders, and Singapore Cains, oh my. Ya know I have my own type of TLC match I have after hours. I have a girl and have her place her Tongue, and her Lips, right onto my Coc. .”
JR: “Whooaa, that is going a little to far even for your perverted sayings you put in.”
JG: “You’ve won this round Ross, but I’ll slip something disgusting in before the night is over. You can’t stop, the Sperminator!”
**The EHW black and red, double wide, double deep casket is wheeled out to ringside. The top is lifted up and the inside of the casket is shown to have barb wire, thumbtacks, nails, and shards of glass on the bottom. “Play the Game” by Motorhead hits as the lights go dark and Triple H comes out to the ring to the boos of the crowd. Triple H gets onto the ring apron looking at the crowd with a mad look on his face and then gets into the ring. Triple H poses for the cameras, and then in front of the crowd receiving nothing but boos as the lights come back on. “Man in a Box” by Alice in Chains plays and the eHw Deathmatch Champion Tommy Dreamer makes his way to the ring to nothing but cheers from the crowd. Dreamer stands next to the casket and sings along with the lyrics as the crowd laughs at the irony of the situation. Dreamer shows his taped up ribs and has bandages on his forehead and an ace bandage on his arm after the events of Turmoil. Dreamer throws his title at the ref and the casket door is shut as the bell rings.**
JR: “Dreamer comes into the match battered and bruised after the events of Turmoil where he was literally run over by Triple H as he was leaving the arena. He suffered two bruised ribs, two broken ribs, a serious cut on his right arm which is taped and bandaged, and has cuts and bruises all over his body. He’s lucky he’s not dead!”
JG: “Triple H wanted to make an impact, but running somebody over is just inhumane and in excusable and I would think Dreamer will dish out his own extreme justice and leave the cops out of this.”
Triple H goes to lock up but Dreamer tackles him down to the mat and delivers three punches to the side of Triple H’s face. Dreamer gets up and immediately stomps Triple H on his chest, stomach, and back as Triple H rolls away. Triple H rolls out of the ring and Dreamer immediately follows him and runs Triple H into the far right steel ring post as soon as Triple H gets on his feet. Triple takes Triple who is on his knees and runs his face into the ring post three more times busting Triple H’s nose up as he starts bleeding from it. Dreamer picks Triple H up but as he does Triple H grabs Dreamers pants and pushes him back first into the same steel ring post. Triple H doesn’t follow up but instead takes sometime to get back up to his feet and catch his breath. Dreamer walks towards Triple H but Triple H kicks Dreamer in his stomach and gives him his patented Knee to the Face Drop! Triple H gets up, taunts Dreamer and then elbow drops Dreamer right on his ribs. Dreamer yells in pain as Triple H smiles at him, Triple H gets up and gets a steel chair. Dreamer gets up on all fours and Triple H hits him with the chair on his right arm where he is bandaged up. Dreamer favors his arm as Triple H drops the chair, and goes under the ring to pull out a table. Triple H sets up the table on the outside, Triple H then picks Dreamer up and puts him on the table and then gets on the table himself with the chair. Triple H looks at the fans and mocks them but as he does Dreamer grabs the chair from him and jams it into Triple H’s right knee. Triple H bends down to tend to the knee, Dreamer stands up and smacks the chair on Triple H’s back sending the chair flying into the air after impact. Dreamer takes Triple H and gives him the Dreamer DDT through the Table!! Both Triple H and Dreamer yell after impact since both land hard and Dreamer lands on his right arm and crashes his ribs on the arena floor. Dreamer slowly gets up to his feet using the steel guardrail, when he does get up to his feet he takes Triple H and drags him towards the casket. Dreamer gets on the left side of the casket and tells the ref to open the lid. The lid is opened, Dreamer picks Triple H up behind and walks him over to the box in a side headlock. But Triple H punches Dreamer in his ribs, he picks Dreamer up for a body slam and throws him from three feet away into the casket!!! Triple H falls on his ass thinking he’s won but the lid did not shut. Triple H slowly gets up and crawls to the casket, he stands and slams the casket shut. .on Dreamer’s right arm as he sticks it up at the last second! Dreamer’s bandages on his right arm get redder and redder as more blood builds up inside. Triple H slams the door on Dreamer’s arm repeatedly to get it to drop so he can win the match. But Dreamer doesn’t, instead he shoots up and stabs Triple H on his forehead with a nail!! Triple H falls to the floor and starts bleeding heavily from his head as Dreamer gets out covered in thumbtacks, glass, and barb wire stuck to his clothes and flesh. He takes some of them out, but then picks Triple H up and puts him on the apron of the ring. Dreamer stands on the apron and picks Triple H up to his feet. Dreamer takes Triple H and gives him a Release Spicoli Driver into the casket!!! The lid shuts on impact, Dreamer wins!
JR: “Good lord, what a bloody mess. Dreamer is bleeding from the head, arm, ribs, and has barbwire, glass, and thumbtacks all over him. And I can’t believe he just stabbed Triple H in his face, but I’m glad. That bastard deserved it!”
JG: “Thanks for being an unbiased reporter Ross. Dreamer survived all that with severe injuries, he truly deserves that Deathmatch Title.”
JR: “Now we are going to have without a doubt the most unique match of the night. The next match is a two out of three falls match for the EHW Tag Team Titles. It is unique because there is only one challenger in this contest. Edge and Christain versus Raven, Raven who over the last couple of weeks has become obsessed with beating Edge and Christian for the tag team titles is the man that made this match that makes him the underdog.”
JG: “Raven has never been one hundred percent right in the head if you know what I’m saying and tonight he may have just signed his own death warrant, to Team ECK.”
** “Come Out and Play” by The Offspring plays and Raven makes his way to the ring to a huge pop from the crowd. Raven slides into the ring and makes a crucifix with his arms to an even bigger pop from the crowd. Raven sits in the far left corner of the ring as his music fades and the lights go dark. Edge and Christian’s music is heard and the EHW Tag Team Champions walk out to the ring with big smiles on their faces even though they are getting booed by the crowd. Edge and Christian get into the ring and pose for the crowd but get nothing but more boos and debris thrown at them. The lights come back on and Christian gets out of the ring.**
JR: “I don’t know why Christian is even out here. This is a one on one match in the first fall, he has no reason to be out here until the second fall.”
JG: “He’s out here for support and advice Ross, that is it. He wants to aide his brother. .verbally when it looks like he is in trouble.”
JR: “Joel are you starting a farm, because you’re spewing out bullshit at an alarming rate.”
**Raven stands up in his corner and looks at Christian and Edge both smiling. Then before the bell can be rung “King Nothing” by Metallica plays and Paul Heyman walks out to the top of the entryway with a mic in hand.**
Paul E: “No, no, no I don’t think so. The first fall is one on one and that’s exactly what it will be. So Christian until the second fall, you are banned from ringside. So get to the back or else you’ll forefit the match and the tag team titles.”
**Heyman walks back to the back, as E&C throw a fit and Christian very reluctantly leaves.**
JG: “Ross, this totally reeks of sucktitude!”
The bell rings and Raven and Edge go to lock up in the ring but Raven kicks Edge in his stomach and gives him a jawbreaker. Raven goes for an immediate cover, 1.2.NO Edge easily kicks out and gets up to his feet. Raven gives Edge a couple of hard right hands to his head and whips him off the ropes, Raven goes for a clothesline but Edge ducks, he runs off the ropes and goes for his Spear but Raven leap frogs over him causing Edge to miss. As Edge is getting up Raven stomps him on the top of his head and then drops a fist to Edge’s crotch. The ref yells at Raven for the low blow but Raven just shoves him away and picks Edge up to his feet. Raven again goes to whip Edge off the ropes but Edge reverses, Raven comes off the ropes and Edge gives him a back body drop. Edge wastes no time, he picks Raven up to his feet and gives him a sitdown powerbomb with a pin, 1..2.NO Raven kicks out, rolls away, and gets up to his feet. Edge and Raven lock up, Raven comes up with a side headlock on Edge and grinds on Edge’s ear, Edge punches Raven in his midsection a couple of times, breaks the hold and gives Raven a falling neck breaker. Edge goes to the outside and gets a chair, he gets right back in the ring with it and holds it up signaling that he’s gonna hit Raven with it. Raven gets up and Edge goes to hit him with the chair but Raven moves out of the way and kicks the chair out of Edge’s hand. Raven hits Edge with an elbow to the face, then opens up the chair and places it in the middle of the ring. Raven turns to face Edge and Edge goes to give Raven the Downward Spiral, but Raven blocks it. Raven pushes Edge away off the ropes and gives him a drop toe hold on the chair Raven goes for a cover, 1.2.NO Edge kicks out. Raven calls for the end of the match, he picks Edge up and sets him up for the Evenflow DDT but Edge counters and gives Raven a northern lights suplex but is unable to hold the bridge for a pin attempt. Both men get up, but Edge charges and hits Ravne with the Spear!! Both men are down, Edge takes a while and then makes a pin attempt, 1..2..NO Raven gets his foot on the ropes. Edge picks Raven up and brings him to the middle of the ring. Edge sets Raven up for the Impaler, but as he is set to hit it Raven reaches down and grabs the steel chair. He hits Edge in his knee with it, then pushes Edge away and drops the chair in front of him. Edge takes a step forward and Raven kicks him in the stomach and gives him the Evenflow DDT on the chair!! Raven makes the cover, 1..2.3 Raven wins the first fall!
JR: “Man, a very technically sound match from the two men. But now, Raven has to right away face Christian whom he was barely able to beat on Turmoil when he was fresh. He has just wrestled a great match with Edge, how can he do it?”
JG: “Well I don’t think he can, but Raven has surprised us in the past and he can do it again.”
Raven sits up and starts to get up to his feet in the middle of the ring. As he does Christian runs down to the ring carrying a garbage can as Edge rolls out of the ring. Christian gets in the ring and when Raven turns to face him he gets nailed with the garbage can! A road sign, cookie sheet, and chair fall out of the garbage can when Christian hits Raven with it. Raven starts to get up on his knees but Christian runs and kicks him in his ribs. Raven rolls over on his back and Christian hits him with the garbage can again. Christian drops the garbage can and stomps away at Raven, then walks over and picks up the cookie sheet. Christian stalks Raven and waits for him to get up to his feet. Raven does get up to his feet using the ropes and when Christian goes to hit him with the cookie sheet Raven uses the ropes to quickly get out of the ring. Christian hit’s the ropes with the cookie sheet and it bounces back and hits him in the face. Edge very, very slowly starts to get up on the outside of the ring as Christian moves towards the center of the ring and kicks a chair out of the ring right next to Edge. Raven gets back into the ring and gets on his feet. Christian tries to move in with the cookie sheet but Raven picks up the garbage can and throws it at him. Christian drops the cookie sheet and catches the garbage can. As soon as he does Raven steps up and punches the garbage can into Christian’s face. Raven picks Christian up and whips him into the near left corner of the ring, Raven charges and clotheslines Christian in the corner and then immediately takes Christian out of the corner with a running bulldog. Raven goes for a cover after a couple of seconds of catching his breath, 1.2..NO Christian kicks out and starts to get back up. Raven gets up and grabs the road sign, Christian gets up and Raven nails him with the road sign to Christian’s face knocking him through the ropes to the outside of the ring next to Edge who is on his knees leaning against the ring. Raven picks up the chair Christian brought into the ring, and goes to the outside of the ring with it. Christian gets up and Raven hits him with the chair and then drops it. Raven takes Christian and goes for a Russian Legsweep onto the steel guardrail but he breaks the hold as Edge gets up and comes at him with a chair. Raven drops low and punches Edge in the stomach. After he gets up on his feet Christian lunges forward and low blows Raven. Christian picks up his chair, he and Edge get on opposite sides of Raven, and hit Raven with CONCHAIRTO!! Raven goes down fast as Christian doesn’t cover, but instead picks up Raven and gives him Unprettier on the arena floor!! Christian and Edge put Raven back in the ring, Christian gets back in the ring and covers Raven, 1..2..3, Christian wins the second fall!
JR: “It took both Edge and Christian to beat Raven in the second fall by using conchairto, and then Unprettier to get the pin.”
JG: “Hey Raven attacked Edge, so he was just defending himself.”
JR: “Do you actually believe what you say, or are you like George W Bush and just spew out words not knowing what you are saying or if it makes sense.”
**Before Joel can answer the question Edge and Christian both get in the ring and grab a mic, and Edge begins to talk.**
Edge: “Raven, you may have won the first fall and this should go to a third fall but this whole situation is just totally one big reekazoid. We are the EHW tag team champions. We are not going to defend our titles against one man, especially someone like you. So sorry to let you know, that we are taking out titles and are going to the locker room and are gonna get our bags and totally go out clubbing. We’ll see you around when you get yourself a partner.”
**Edge drops the mic and he and Christian start to exit the ring. As they do Raven gets on his knees and crawls towards the mic. He gets the mic, and sits down as he starts to talk.**
Raven: “You two ignoramuses, didn’t you hear my last dialogue? I said I wasn’t going to be alone here tonight. I said I would have all these people in attendance who support my cause. But they are not the only people who are with me, I had a feeling that you two might pull something like this so I called up one of my oldest friends. The man I started the Flock with in WCW, and a former two time EHW tag team champion. .Perry Saturn!!”
**A siren echoes through the arena as Edge and Christian drop their title belts and their jaws in shock as they look at the entryway and see one half of the original EHW tag team champions appear to nothing but cheers from the crowd. Saturn poses for the crowd as pyros go off and then runs down to the ring. He slides in all the way next to Raven, both men stand up and then all four men go at it in two separate fist fights!**
Edge and Raven go fist to fist as Raven gets the better of him and then hits Edge with a spinning haymaker punch that takes Edge off of his feet, Edge quickly rolls out of the ring as Christian and Saturn go at it in the middle of the ring. Christian goes for a clothesline but Saturn ducks it, Christian turns around and gets super kicked! Christian rolls out of the ring clenching his jaw as he starts bleeding from the mouth. Raven and Saturn embrace as and then together pose for the crowd and are greated by a sea of cheers from the fans in attendance. Edge and Christian get their chairs on the outside and again enter the ring but are immediately attacked by Raven and Saturn. Raven and Saturn stomp them until E&C drop their chairs. Raven and Saturn simultaneously whips Edge and Christian off the ropes and dropkick Edge and Christian. Raven is slow to his feet but Saturn is quick, he picks up Christian and gives him a hanging brainbuster. Raven does get up but when he does Edge his on his feet and out of nowhere gives him the Downward Spiral!! Edge slowly makes a cover as Saturn jumps up to the top rope nearest to him. 1..2..NO Saturn breaks the count with an elbow drop off the top rope! Saturn takes Edge and locks him in the Rings of Saturn! Edge yells in pain and looks as though he is about to submit but Christian gets up and picks up the cookie sheet that is still in the ring and hits Saturn in the back of his head with it to break the hold. Christian picks Saturn up and moves him a couple of feet away from Edge, he takes Saturn and sets him up for Unprettier as both Raven and Edge get up to there feet on opposite sides of the ring. Christian gets Saturn turned over to execute the move but Saturn flips Christian over so he lands on his feet. Saturn pushes Christian back so he bumps into Raven, Christian turns around and gets hit with the Evenflow DDT!! Edge throws a punch at Saturn but Saturn grabs his arm and then gives him the Death Valley Driver!! Raven and Saturn cover Christian and Edge at the same time, 1..2...3, Raven and Saturn win the tag team titles!
JR: “New Tag Champs! New Tag Champs! After shocking the world and returning to EHW after more than a years absence, Perry Saturn comes in and helps his friend Raven win the EHW Tag Team Titles!”
JG: “This is an outrage! They didn’t know Saturn would be Raven’s partner! There is a conspiracy! A conspiracy I say!!”
**The ring is cleared of the weapons and ladders, tables, and Singapore Cains are placed in and around the ring.**
JR: “Well this next match is a big match because over the last two weeks we have seen a heated feud develop between Kurt Angle and The Sandman.”
JG: “It all started at Caged Heat when The Sandman came in as Raven’s mystery partner and took out Team ECK member Edge by power bombing him through the lid of the war games cage to the mat. Angle was enraged at this and Sandman made it clear he wanted a match with Angle for his IC Title. Sandman upped the ante when after Raven unrightfully took Angle’s gold medals, Sandman bought them and kept them even after Angle attempted to get them back. Angle responded this past Turmoil, when in a stairway to hell match for the deathmatch title he pushes Sandman off of a ladder, through our ring announcement table, while the Sandman was holding barbwire.”
JR: “Sandman was left a bloody mess as Angle took his medals back and screwed Sandman out of the match. But The Sandman got back at Angle, when over the weekend on EHW Hardcore TV, Sandman brought out Eric Angle and completely humiliated him and then physically annihilated him. So there is a lot of heat coming into this match.”
JG: “And JR, as I know you would forget to mention this, as was said earlier the match type has been changed at the request of both men after the actions taken on Turmoil.”
** “Enter Sandman” by Metallica plays and The Sandman makes his way to the ring through the crowd. Sandman chugs down a couple beers along the way to ringside, he gets to ringside and gets into the ring with the fans singing along to song the whole way. Sandman poses for the crowd and then opens starts opening up tables and ladders around the ring. “Medal” comes on and the EHW IC Champion, Kurt Angle walks out to the ring. Angle stops in the middle of the entryway and poses for the cameras as pyros go off at the top of the entryway. Angle proceeds to walk to the ring, he enters the ring and poses for the fans with the IC belt but is responded to with a sea of boos from the crowd. Angle hands the belt to the ref, who hangs it on a wire, which is raised up over 15 feet above the ring as the bell rings.**
JR: “The Sandman is looking to make history tonight by being only the second man in EHW history to win the crown of barbwire. Will he succeed, or will Angle proceed on his path to the top of EHW? We are about to find out.”
Angle looks and sees Sandman and ring crew has opened up a table on each side of the ring as well as one in the ring and has opened up all of the ladders that were placed in and around the ring. In sizes varying from 2 foot step ladders, to a couple of 15 foot high ladders, to a 20 foot high ladder set up at the end of the entryway just to name a few of the over 10 ladders set up in and around the ring. Angle folds up two ladders in the ring and kicks them to ringside. Sandman starts moving towards Angle with a Singapore Cain in hand. Angle bends down in the near right corner of the ring and picks up a Cain of his own. Sandman moves in and tries to hit Angle with his cain but Angle blocks it and goes to strike Sandman but he blocks Angle’s shot then kicks Angle in his stomach. Angle drops his cain and Sandman hits Angle on the side of his head with the cain Sandman is hold. Angle goes down and Sandman cains Angle repeatedly while he is down all over his back and legs. Angle rolls out of the ring and Sandman follows with his cain in hand, Sandman goes to cain Angle from behind but Angle ducks the shot. Angle gets behind Sandman and grabs him by the hair and throws him backwards into the steel ring steps. Angle takes an 8-foot high ladder, folds it and then hits Sandman in the small of his back with the end of it. Angle takes the whole ladder and slams it on Sandman’s back as Sandman attempts to crawl away from Angle. Angle reaches in the ring and grabs the cain he dropped. Sandman starts to get up using the ring apron until Angle cains him in the back of his head. Angle jams Sandman with the cain into his ribs, then picks Sandman up, turns him around, and gives him a butterfly through the table set up on the left side of the ring. Angle looks around with an intense look on his face and then gets back into the ring. Angle picks up a 15-foot high ladder that he folded up at the start of the match and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Angle starts to climb up to get the belt, but as he does the Sandman stands up on the outside of the ring with a smile on his face. Sandman gets into the ring and takes a cain lying on the mat and hits Angle on the back of his left knee with it. Sandman cains Angle on his ass with it then drops the cain, walks over and folds a 10-foot high ladder set up in the ring. Sandman takes the ladder, runs, and rams it into the ladder Angle is standing on. Angle and the ladder fall and Angle falls and crotches himself on the top rope on the far side of the ring. Sandman goes to the outside of the ring, he moves the table on that side of the ring closer to the ring and then slides back into the ring. Sandman grabs a cain, and cains Angle right in his face cracking the top of the cain and knocking Angle off the top rope through the table! Sandman throws the broken cain into the crowd and then gets out of the ring to get back on the offense on Angle. Sandman picks Angle up off of the broken table and whips him into another 15 foot high ladder set up on the outside of the ring. The ladder falls towards the crowd but bounces off the guardrail. Sandman then takes Angle and throws him face first into the steel guardrail. Sandman walks over and picks up the ladder that just fell, folds it up, and bridges it with the guardrail and the ring. Sandman picks up Angle and tries to bang Angle’s head against the ladder but Angle blocks it, bangs Sandman’s head against the ladder and then gives him a side belly-to-belly suplex on the ladder!! Sandman bounces off the ladder that has no give at all to hit and crashes down on the arena floor yelling in pain. Angle recoups a little and then walks over to the table that is set up and moves it closer to the near side of the ring wear the 20-foot ladder is set up. Angle goes under the ring and takes out another table, opens it, and stacks it onto the first table. Angle takes Sandman and places him laying on the top table. Angle walks over to the 20-foot high ladder and just adjusts its position to be facing the table that is still on the right side of the ring. Angle climbs up the ladder with his back to the table, Angle climbs all the way up to the top of it. Angle stands on top of the ladder for a second and then Moonsaults off the top of the 20-foot ladder onto Sandman through the stacked tables!!! Neither man moves after Angle crashes Sandman through the table. The crowd chants “HOLY SHIT” as very slowly Angle gets to his knees and very slowly gets back into the ring.
JR: “Good God Almighty!! I have never seen Angle take a risk like that in his entire career! I am in awe of what I just saw take place right there as Angle very slowly is getting back into the ring and crawling towards the fifteen foot high ladder that is already opened but is laying on it’s side on the mat.”
Angle gets on his knees in the ring near the ladder as Sandman starts moving on the outside of the ring. Sandman slowly goes under the ring and takes out two chairs and puts them in the ring as Angle stands up the ladder in the ring and positions it under the belt. Angle very slowly starts to climb the ladder off his knees as Sandman slowly gets into the ring. Angle struggles to climb the ladders as he favors his knees after climbing every step. Sandman crawls over to the table that is set up in the ring, Sandman with all his might he has left drags the table diagonal from Angle and puts the chairs on top of the table and opens them both facing each other just slightly overlapping. Sandman then crawls over to the ladder as Angle gets a finger on the title but isn’t high enough to grab the title. Sandman grabs Angle’s left foot but Angle looks down and stomps Sandman on his face and head-causing Sandman to let go and fall back. Sandman crawls over and grabs another Singapore Cain laying in the ring and then wobbly gets on his feet. Angle gets a grip on the IC Title belt and reaches to pull it down but as he does Sandman again cains Angle in back on his left knee. Sandman this time climbs up the ladder behind him and low blows Angle with the cain and then Sandman drops down leaving Angle crouched down on the ladder. Sandman walks over and picks up the other ladder Angle folded at the beginning of the match and opens it up next to the ladder Angle is on but more diagonal to it in front of the table with the chair on it. Sandman climbs up to the top of this 8-foot high ladder. Sandman reaches next to him and pulls on Angle as Angle puts on foot on the top of the 8 foot high ladder and leaves one on the ladder he is one. Sandman cains Angle in his stomach, then puts the cain to Angle’s throat and. . Singapore Sweep off the two ladders through the overlapping chairs through the table!!!! Sandman hits hard as well and has a hard time getting back up to his feet as Angle lays unconscious cut in several parts from broken tables. Sandman very slowly gets up and starts to climb up the 15-foot high ladder Angle was just on. Sandman slowly gets up high on the ladder as Angle starts showing signs of movement. But Sandman gets a hand on the belt, takes another step up, and steps into the Crown of Barbwire as he pulls down the IC Title Belt, Sandman wins!
JR: “Sandman wins! Sandman wins! Sandman wins and is the new IC Champion and is now in the Crown of Barbwire, what an grueling match that was a true test of grit, toughness, and who could out do the other. In the end, the Hardcore Icon showed why he is just that.”
JG: “My Olympic Hero hit the biggest moonsault in professional wrestling history and the Sandman still got up and hit the biggest Singapore Sweep he has ever executed. I don’t like the drunk, but you have to respect him as he is now in the Crown of Barbwire.”
JR: “The Sandman can now officially lay claim to being the best superstar in EHW history. He’s been the EHW world champion more than anyone, he’s held the TV Title, Hardcore Title, Tag Titles, and now the IC Title and won the first King of the Deathmatches tournament. He is a living legend, and is the King of EHW.”
Jim Ross Wow I tell you what it has been just great match after great match tonight. Everybody is giving it there all tonight and I ca say it has been a great pay per view CyberSlam is everything we were hoping it would be and it is just about time for the main event.
King: Yes just moments away and we are still all wandering who will be champion aftre this match will Steiner once again defeat Jeff Jarrett or will Jarrett win the world title for the first time here in EhW all those questions will be answered and it is time for the match.
Just then Jarrett walks out from behind the curtains he taunts for the crowd up at the top of the ramp he then begins to make his way to the ring.
Jarrett then slides into the ring and does his little peace sign taunt and he then grabs a microphone and walks to the center of the ring he has a little something to say before the big match. He then begins to speak.
Jeff Jarrett Now I realize that It is time for my match but I have a few things to say before I kick his slapass and become World Champion. And yes Steiner I will become World Champion. Now tonight is the night that we both compete for the World title and yes as of right now you are the World Champion but it's getting a lot closer to me. And when tonight is over you will have lost it all together and I will be the World champion. And then you can go off crying like a little bitch. Now I realize that since the day I made my return the day we got booked of this World title match at CyberSlam. The only thing that ha sbeen going on around here is you come out here and talk then later I come out and talk about you then you attack me then I attack you then people are seperating us and you know what Steiner I m sick of it. I sick of all of this shit and tonight I will end it all no more talking no more attacking from behind nothing just you, me, and the world title, oh and a ref. I can't defeat you without a ref. Now I realize we have both been tryin to play mind games back and forth attacking each other trying to mess up there concetration and all that. But now tonight at CyberSlam all the games are over Just like Triple H is over and just like tonight Steiner you will be OVER!!!. Tonight Steiner I will do to you what I have did to all of my opponants and that is just destroy you. You have no chance tonight and you know it as far as I am concerned and as far as all of these fans are concerned the match is already over. And the winner is me. Now I know some of the Big Poppa Pump fans you know the three homos backstage including Paul E Heyman are saying that Steiner is just going to kick my ass well I got news for you Steiner could not kick anybody's ass if they fell on his boot.
Jarrett then looks at the fans as they start cheering him and chanting his name Jarrett just puts the microphone back up to his face and begins to speak again.
Jeff Jarrett: Now Steiner I know your going into this match looking to try to put me out of action again but I am telling you right now you little punk it won't work I am going to do all I can in this match and when it is all said and done you'll be lucky if it isn't you that is out of action for a long time. And trust me when we start this match I am going to be looking to do a lot more damage then just breaking a neck you slapass. Now just like you said the other my neck is week but there si one thing that you are week on too and that is your brain. Now I heard you say something the other day you said that I was a loser, well slapnut I only see one loser around here and that is you. Now I also saw you back stage the other day with Savage and Stevie who is surprised the other two homos in the back. Not surprised to see you with them. Now Steiner you want to say how you beat me at caged Heat in like three seconds I don't know where you got that. You barely got the win you were lucky just to see another day wearing that belt. And Steiner I know you are worryin again if you will ever see that belt around your waist. Well Steiner you will see that belt around somebody's waist after tonight but it sure as hell won't be your it will be Jeff Jarrett's. Tonight I am going to show you why they call me the Chosen One. And why all fear me. Now you said that I suck up to Paul and I told you before I don't need to suck up. The only reason why I keep getting the title shots is cause frankly I am the best and I should get what I deserve and that would be the World title which is around your waist at the moment. But don'w worry everybody it won't be around there very much longer like I told you the other day Steiner the countdown was on till you would lose to me and I would become EhW world champion well Steiner the countdown is over and so are you. Now Steiner I have told you before I am Jeff Jarrett and I am the one with all the stroke around here and I have proven it time and time before to people but I have never proven I to you and that is why I will defeat you here tonight at CyberSlam. Now I heard you say the other day that I come out hear and say the same damn thing over and over again. That I keep coming out her and teling how I ma going to beat him to become the World champion at CyberSlam well I am right so why shouldn't I say it I am only speaking what ids going to happen and like you should talk slapass. You come out here over and over I was in my penthouse playing with myself cause my freaks said I was to small the same thing over and over. And frankly Steiner it's getting annoying to everybody we don't need to know how many times you masterbate or how your freaks come over to your penthouse just to play with each other and not you. We don't need to hear it. Or how you always say Big Poppa Pump is your hookup Holla if you hear me, well Steiner I tell you what they got a new hook up and his name is The Chosen One Jeff Jarrett so holla if you hear me.
Jarrett then stops talking and climbs up on the turnbuckle and hold his hands up in the air, Jarrett then hops off the turnbuckle and does his little walks like Ric Flair he then stops and holds up the peace sign Jarrett then puts the microphone back up to his mouth and begins to speak again.
Jeff Jarrett you know what everybody I don't need you to cheer me tonight I am going to do this on my own I don't need you to cheer me I can kick his ass anyway for all of you that want to see him wine like a little school girl and for me. Now Steiner I have heard from many people in the back that you don't think that I am good enough to beat you and that you don't think that I even stand a chance then why did I hear you crying about how you had to face me again you were mad cause the last time we faced each other I kicked your ass but you barely pulled off a win and that will never happen again. Well Steiner I am plunty good enough to beat you and I will beat you as soon as you get your ass out here so we can do this. Steiner I know that I will be victorious tonight the only thing that I am worrin about right now is were I am going to eat and celebrate my victory after the match that is the only thing I am worryin about. But you Steiner I can just see you sittin in the back waitin to come out worried about how badly Jarret will injure you well let me ease your mind, very bad. So you don't have to worry about that the only thing you have to worry about now is will Jarrett let you survive cause as of the time this match starts I am in control of your fate weather you will lose you title, or lose your career or both. Well Steiner let me just tell you right now the answer is both. You got to worry about both. Well you don't really have to worry about losing the title I already know you will but you have to worry about if I decide to let you live longer then this match. Steiner I have your life in my hand and I am about ready to squeeze it shut and end your title run. Which I mean a loser like yourself Steiner should not beholding a title as long as you have it is about time you get beat and who better then myself Jeff Jarrett to defeat you and capture the world title for the first time here in Ehw and I have no doubts I know I will win it and you know it as well Steiner. Well Stener I have had enough talking about what I am going to do it is time to let my actions speak for my words and end your title run and begin the Chosen One title reign. So Steiner get your sorry son of a bitchin ass out here so I can start kicking it and winning my world title. And I guarantee all of you and Steiner that tonight it will be Steiner on a stretcher being rolled out and I will be named the new champ. SO GO CHOKE ON THAT SLAPNUTS!!!!. Now get your ass out here now.
JR: “Jeff Jarrett has called Big Poppa Pump out for their match.”
JG: “Well Jarrett has stepped up since Born to be Wired and he feels that it is his time at the top.”
**The lights go dark and strobe lights go on at the top of the entryway as Scott Steiner’s music is heard and the eHw World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring with his favorite freak Midajah. Steiner walks to the ring through a sea off boos from the fans that he completely ignores as he doesn’t take his eyes of Jarrett in the ring. Steiner gets into the ring with Midajah and flexes his huge muscles in the middle of the ring and spotlights shine on him. Steiner flexes and poses, then removes the world title belt from his waste and holds it up in the air and circles the ring holding it up. Big Poppa Pump hands the belt to Midajah who hands it to ref as the lights come back on, the music fades, and a stretcher is wheeled out to the ring and placed at the end of the entrance way as the bell rings.**
Jarrett and Steiner both circle the ring each with a serious look on their face not relaxed or taking the match lightly at all. Steiner sticks his hand out for a test of strength but Jarrett slaps his hand away. They circle the ring some more and then they lock up in the middle of the ring. They stay in a grapple for several seconds and when Steiner can’t take Jarrett over he backs Jarrett into the corner and the ref calls for a break of the hold. They break and both men move out of the corner. They lock up again in the middle of the ring but this time Steiner gets the advantage and gives Jarrett and arm drag takedown. Both men get right back up, they look to lock up again but Steiner shoves Jarrett’s arm out of the way and rakes his eyes. Jarrett falls back a few steps and Steiner whips him off the ropes Steiner goes for a back body drop but Jarrett jumps over him and goes off the ropes again Jarrett charges and shoulder blocks Steiner but barely moves him. Steiner yells at Jarrett to do it again, so Jarrett runs off the ropes and shoulder blocks him again and barely moves Steiner back. Steiner yells at Jarrett to do it again, Jarrett runs off the ropes and Steiner clotheslines him down to the mat. Steiner picks Jarrett up to his feet and gives him a pump handle suplex. Jarrett crashes hard on the mat but starts to get up to his feet at the same time Steiner does. Jarrett lands a left handed punch the left cheek of Steiner and Steiner goes back a few steps. Jarrett then hits Steiner with a chop to his chest getting a reaction from the crowd. Jarrett whips Steiner off the ropes and gives him a sidewalk slam. Jarrett picks up Steiner’s right leg and puts him in a leg lock submission hold. Jarrett pulls back on the hold putting pressure on it, but he doesn’t keep the hold on for long because Steiner kicks Jarrett right on the side of his head several times forcing him to break the hold. Both men get up, Jarrett goes for Steiner’s leg but Steiner head butts Jarrett then gives him a side slam. After he hit’s the hold and gets up to his feet Steiner yells for Midajah who tosses a small object into the ring. .it’s a cheese grater! Steiner takes the cheese grater in one hand and picks Jarrett up to his knees with the other. Steiner stands in front of Jarrett and slams the cheese grater on Jarrett’s forehead and runs it back and forth on Jarrett’s forehead tearing up the his flesh as blood starts pouring out of it and down the rest of Jarrett’s face. Steiner tosses the cheese grater to a corner of the ring and then punches Jarrett on his forehead in order to get the ripped up flesh to bleed more which he is successful in doing. Steiner picks Jarrett up and then takes him down with a piledriver landing Jarrett on his neck and forehead. Steiner gets up and elbow drops Jarrett’s neck twice and then yells for Midajah again. Midajah grabs the ring bell and walks up the ring steps to hand it to Steiner as Steiner walks over to the same corner where the cheese grater is to take it from her. But when he does Jarrett gets on his feet, charges, and splashes Steiner in the corner. Jarrett takes Steiner and dumps him over the top rope to the outside of the ring. Jarrett reaches down, picks up the cheese grater, and gets out of the ring. Jarrett takes Steiner and slams him head first onto the top of the steel guardrail and when Jarrett falls to his knees, Jarrett takes the cheese grater and goes to use it on Steiner but Midajah gets behind Jeff and rakes his eyes with her sharp finger nails. Jarrett falls on all fours and crawls towards the ring as Midajah tends to Steiner. Jarrett goes under the ring and pulls out his guitar, he stands up, taps Midajah’s shoulder and when she turns around Jarrett smashes the guitar on her head!! Midajah is knocked unconscious as Jarrett takes Steiner and whips him into the steel ring steps. Jarrett then goes into his boot and takes out . .a pair of scissors. Jarrett closes the scissors up and jams the sharp end into the forehead of Scott Steiner repeatedly as blood starts flowing out of his forehead. Jarrett puts the scissors back in his boot and then slams Steiner’s head against the edge of one of the ring steps. Jarrett poses for the crowd as Midajah is taken out on a stretcher of her own. But as Jarrett is posing, Steiner gets up and from behind gives him a release dragon suplex into the steel guardrail. Jarrett hit’s the back of his head and neck hard as Steiner gets up to his feet and whips some of the blood away from his eyes. Steiner picks up the ring bell that he dropped after the splash and slams it onto the stomach of Jarrett as he lays on the arena floor. Steiner then walks over to the ring announcers table and grabs the hammer they use to hit the bell with. Steiner sits Jarrett up and pounds him on his neck and upper back with the hammer until Jarrett flings his arms out and hits Steiner’s crotch. Steiner drops the hammer as Jarrett favors his kneck and crawls back towards the ring and then gets back into it. Steiner goes under the ring and takes out a small white sack and gets into the ring with it. Steiner gets up in the ring and empties the content of the sack on the far side of the ring. .it’s thumbtacks! Hundreds of thumbtacks spill out as Steiner spreads them out a little bit. Steiner walks over to Jarrett on the opposite side of the ring, Steiner picks Jarrett up and gives him an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex on the Thumbtacks!!! Jarrett yells in pain as he rolls away from the thumbtacks onto his belly and shows that his back and shoulders are covered in thumbtacks.
JR: “I don’t think I’ve seen Big Poppa Pump take the initiative like this before. He is a mat wrestler, but tonight he is showing how extreme he can get.”
JG: “This is a much more dangerous, much more determined Scott Steiner and Jarrett could be in big trouble.”
Steiner picks Jarrett up, he whips him off the ropes and clotheslines Jarrett down as he hit’s the mat back first. Steiner rolls Jarrett on his belly, flexes his huge right arm, and then elbow drops Jarrett’s back and shoulders driving the thumbtacks deeper into Jarrett’s skin. Steiner gets up and mocks Jarrett by throwing up a piece sign and then flexing some more getting booed even more by the crowd. Jarrett starts to get up but Steiner stomps him on his neck and head. Steiner yells out, “IT’S TIME TO STOP PLAYIN’!!” then he goes out of the ring and then goes under it. Steiner actually crawls completely under the ring for a second, and then comes back out with a barbwire wrapped table! Steiner puts it into the ring, then gets in the ring and opens it up. Steiner places the table over the thumbtacks, then scoops up some of the thumbtacks and puts them on the center of the table. Jarrett gets on his knees as Steiner drags him towards the table. Steiner signals for the end, he picks Jarrett up for a suplex, and attempts the Steiner Screwdriver. .but Jarrett spins out of it and gets behind Steiner. Jarrett grabs the scissors out of his boot and when Steiner turns around jams the edge into his forehead again! Jarrett throws the scissors away and powerbombs Steiner through the barbwire and thumbtack covered table!!! Neither Jarrett nor Steiner move after the move for a few seconds but Jarrett is the first one to show signs of life. The ref sees if the bell should be rung but Steiner starts moving and yelling severe pain. Steiner starts taking the barbs from the barb wire off of him and slowly starts moving. Jarrett gets to his feet and picks Steiner up out of the debris and gives Steiner a knee breaker on Steiner’s right leg. Jarrett then immediately locks Steiner in the figure four leglock! And since there are no pins or submissions in a stretcher match, Jarrett can lock on the hold as long as he wants. Both men yell out in pain since the move puts pressure on the leg and back and since both men have thumbtacks stuck in their back, Jarrett more than Steiner both men are in pain. Jarrett sinches in the hold as much as he can as he is in serious pain as well. Jarrett keeps the hold locked on for as long as he can but is forced to break the hold since he is in too much pain himself. Jarrett gets up to his feet slowly favoring his back as blood continues to flow from his forehead. Jarrett picks Steiner up and walks him over to the broken barbwire table and thumbtacks. Jarrett takes Steiner and attempts to give him The Stroke. .but Steiner grabs the ropes in front of him to stop the hold and then take head butts Jarrett again getting Jarrett to back. Steiner is barely able to walk but when Jarrett walks back towards him, out of nowhere Steiner kicks Jarrett in the stomach and hit’s the Steiner Screwdriver!! Jarrett lands on his neck and shoulders and doesn’t even move. .but neither does Steiner. Both men are hurt and fatigued, Steiner just lays on his belly with his eyes open looking up at the roof of the arena. Steiner slowly uses the ropes to help him get up to his feet and he yells at the ref to see if Jarrett is moving or can answer a ten count. The ref raises Jarrett’s arm once and it drops, the ref raises Jarrett’s arm twice and it drops, the ref raises Jarrett’s arm a third time and it. . .Jarrett lets it drop but then holds it up just before it hit’s the mat. Steiner is in shock and can’t believe that Jarrett starts to get up to his feet. Steiner gets up using the ropes, Steiner takes Jarrett and using brut strength throws Jarrett over the top rope and to the outside of the ring. Steiner kneels in the ring and doesn’t know what else to do as Jarrett starts crawling back towards the ring. Steiner uses this time to recuperate and gets some energy back as Jarrett goes under the ring and takes out a guitar. But this guitar has small cuts all over it and leaves a wet trail as Jarrett drags it out from under the ring. Jarrett gets back in the ring and takes a lighter from out of his trunks. Steiner gets up and yells at some fans at ringside that are holding up signs that say “Steiner is Ralphus” and “Big Fat Booty Daddy” Jarrett gets to his knees as he lights the lighter and drops it on his guitar. .lighting it on fire. Jarrett gets up to his feet and yells as loud as he can, Steiner turns around and Jarrett SMASHES STEINER OVER THE HEAD WITH A FLAMING GUITAR!!!! The ref immediately calls for the bell, Jarrett clenches at his face as the ref is handed bottles and cups of soda that were being drinken by the fans at ringside and by ring crew and he pours it on the head and face of Steiner as medics rush to the ring. Steiner is rolled over and immediately put on a stretcher and wheeled to the back and is taken out on an ambulance to receive medical attention. JEFF JARRETT WINS!!!
JR: “GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN!! Jarrett just lit his guitar on fire and hit Scott Steiner in the head and face with it!! I can’t believe my eyes!”
JG: “Scott Steiner has been defeated for his EHW World Title! I can’t believe that that happened.”
JR: “In what had to be the greatest EHW World Title match in this companies history, Jeff Jarrett puts and exclamation point on the match by smashing a flaming guitar on Scott Steiner’s head to send him off on a stretcher. And in the middle of all this excitement we have a new World Champion!”
JG: “Jarrett with two guitars sent both Steiner and Midajah out on stretchers. I guess now he is the Chosen One in EHW.”
JR: “And Jarrett deserves that belt, he earned it by climbing the ladder here in EHW since his arrival and he has earned that belt. Folks we are out of time, it has been a hell of a night tonight. Some of our best matches ever, we hope you’ll remember this show forever because I know I’ll never be able to forget this night. So long everybody!”
