The Devils Meeting House

All the evil demons where gathered together to hear what Satan had to say this time about what they had been doing. They felt he would be pleased with all they have done. He may even thank them for working so hard. They leaned back and propped their feet up on the tables in front of them. Then the Devil walked in, took one look around and went off.

He said; You look like a bunch of Christians getting ready to have church, a sorrier bunch I’ve never seen. Do you realize last night only 97% of the people that died came here, the other 3% went to Heaven. If I have you to spend a few days in the pit, then you’d be glad to do a little bit of work.

I tell you exactly what I want you to do, I even wrote it down in a book. Do you read the book? No, you take a piece here and a piece there and put the verses together to mean something totally different from what I said. Did you think I didn’t know what I was doing when I wrote the book? Do you think you know more than I do? You must think you do, why else would you try to re-arrange or edit what I wrote?

We need a few more of my people writing the Sunday school booklets, alot more churches are using them now instead of the Bible. Churches really like the discount prices we offer on materials for Sunday school lessons. One of these days somebody might ask who writes the material, but I doubt it. All they care about is saving the church some money and saving themselves from having to prepare a lesson each week.

When you find a sleeping church- leave it just the way you found it- asleep. I know they are extremely hard to wake up and sleep like they are dead to the world. But if you mess around and wake one of their members up, they might wake up some of the others. The last thing I need is a church who’s members are not sleeping. One person could save a whole flock of people.

One of you tried to start a war the other day. I don’t want 20 million parents all over the face of the Earth calling out a 100 times everyday- “God protect my little Jimmy.” I get more souls in peace time than I do during any war.

People don’t seem to mind if their sons or daughters loose their souls, they think as long as their child is alive and close to home everything is OK. They forget everybody dies and I get all the lost souls no matter how or where they die. Now stop talking about what you thought I meant to say and do exactly what I told you to do, exactly as I wrote it down in the book.