Thanksgiving At Grandma’s

You don’t have to weigh 300 lbs. for Thanksgiving to be one of your favorite holidays, but it helps. So does having a Grandmother that can cook just about anything. You go over to Granny’s house on Thanksgiving and every place there is to sit a bowl of food, has food sitting on it. Your mouth starts watering miles before you get there and you get visions of all the food waiting on you there. Ninety nine different kinds of green beans, patatoes fixed forty different ways, cakes and pies of every kind.

If there is a long winded preacher in the house, don’t let him be the one to say grace. When they start passing the food around, you don’t even look to see what it is- you just pile some on your plate. It doesn’t matter what it is, if Granny cooked it- you know its going to taste good. The food always goes fast and just when you have everything on your plate that it could possibly hold, you see something else that you want. By the time you make room for it, its all gone.

Some people won’t fill up their plate to start with like I do, they add a little bit here and a little bit there, hoping nobody will notice. If everybody has to stop eating fifteen times to pass you something, they’re going to notice. I like to sit next to those people that talk alot and don’t pay much attention to their plate, that way if I run out- I can borrow. Don’t sit next to me if you don’t want a little help eating your meal. If you like it, chances are I will too.

The topic of religion often comes up after a good meal and everybody has a different view of whats right and whats wrong. Their church is the only one that has it right and every body else is going to Hell. Well I don’t want to go to Hell, among other things- there isn’t any food there and its too hot there. Jesus ate with his disciples after rising from the grave so I’m sure they serve meals in Heaven. Someday, I’m going to sit at the table with the Lord in Heaven and oh what a meal that will be.

In Heaven you don’t have to watch what you eat- salt won’t matter, calories won’t matter, no fluid restrictions for anybody in Heaven- just in Hell. The richest man on Earth still couldn’t buy a cup of water in Hell to cool his tongue. Don’t go there- you won’t like it! I’m sure my Granny will somehow talk God into letting her cook a meal every now and then. Doing the dishes is another matter though. God bless all the Grannies. Written By Johnny Lee Hall