Phone messages

Goku- Hello, you've reached Son Goku at 1-900-HOT-THUG! Wanna find out if *all* of me goes Super Saiyajin? Press 1 to find out! Huh? Chi-Chi!? Get out of here, can't you see I'm busy! .....No, I'm not making those crazy phone messages again, so leave me alone! Hey, what are you doing with that frying pan? Stay away from me! Ah! Um, leave a message after the beep!

Gohan- Hiya, this is Son Gohan. I'm not home right now.........all because mom made me study again...damn mom......always making me do crap I don't wanna do...but I'll show her! Heheheheh, yeah...ahem! Please leave your name and message after the tone... after I kill my mother...heheheheheh...

Piccolo- Hey, wassup wassup, 'dis is big pimp daddy Piccolo in da hoouuuuse! Word! 'Dis thug ain't in da crib now, but if all y'all ladies and thugs out there wanna gimme da 411 on da streets, coo'. Peace!

Vegeta- This is Vegeta, what the f*ck do you want? Actually.....let me tell you what I want. I want long walks on the beach....preferably a Pisces, dinner under the stars, and most importantly....just someone to hold me. I want someone to love!

Trunks- Hi, this is Trunks, but I'm not home right now. I'm in the woods chillin' with squirrels, but I'll be happy to call you when I get done playing with my special friends!

Bulma- You've got Bulma, leave a message. To be honest, anyone can have Bulma, I'm serious! Vegeta isn't doing it for me lately, so if you're male in between ages 5-59, give me a gooood long message ok?

Krillin- The Incredible Bald Man is here to save the daaaaay! I, the great Krillin, am not home right now. But I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done making the world safer for bald men everywhere! Hold on Tien, help is on the waaay!

Eternal Dragons- You call is being answered by Powertell. The Eternal Dragon is unable to make your wish. Please leave your name and wish at the tone. And thank you for using Powertell for all your wishful calls.

Master Roshi- You have reached the Kame house. If you want to talk to Roshi, press 1. If you want to talk to Turtle, press 2. If you are a beautiful female, press 3. If you know that the world will end and would like me to summon the Z fighters, press 4. If this is Ba-Ba calling, hang up.

Freeza- Hey, this if Freeza, Funimationized and ready for looooove. So if you're a guy, gimme a message, and maybe I'll let you come to my room **kiss sound**

#17- Juunana-gou here. If you're calling in regards those guns thefts, I swear, I didn't do it! I'm innocent I tell you, innocent! You might want to call #16, though. He seems pretty suspicious!

#18- This is #18, and I'll only listen to your messages if you're A) a bald, short guy or B) you're willing to give me clothes for free. If these two things don't aply to you, please do me a favor and hang up the damn phone.