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When God Created Mothers

by Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord", said the angel, tugging His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

Other Sites on the Web Written By Parents of Children with Special Needs

Alex and Lisa's Web Page

Brenden the Little Boy with a Big Heart

Ooops Wrong Planet! Syndrome
Written by Janet Norman-Bain, who has Asperger Syndrome, and her children who have Autism.

Two Families in England Describe Living With Children with Autism

Children's Resources Autism Special Education Help Center
Steven's Story is written by his mother, April Sklar.

Life With a PDD-NOS Child
This site is written by the Dotson family for their son Zachary.

Kaye Lewis has a marvelous website for parents of children with ANY disability

Autism & PDD: One Parent's View
Written by Anne Maclellan for her son, Graham.

JaynaGirl Website
was written by John and Shannon Cragin for their daughter Jayna. Very valuable information and very cute, too.

Triplets Canada
If you are a parent with more than one child diagnosed with autism, then visit Jeanette's Web Site to meet someone who knows what it is like! Very upbeat and uplifting! You will recieve a blessing from this page!

Angie Tucker--mom to Stephen -her angel (ILS) Stephen's page is a very touching story about the very rare and traumatic illness of ILS.

Pearl's Home Page is written by a mother whose two sweet angels are both diagnosed with PDD

Ask the Experts is a link page to websites created by people with autism and by parents of children with autism.

If you would like me to link to your website, or if you know of a website that should go on this page, please contact me and I will add it!

More Words of Inspiration

Thought for Today: Base your expectations not on what has happened in the past. Rather, let your expectations be guided by what you desire for the future.

Web Page Author: Janet Lawrence
Updated: 7/01/01
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