Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN:

1. A king-sized water bread holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-lb. boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all 4 walls of a 20x20-foot bedroom.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. However, when using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

6. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.

7. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of it.

8. A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do that in the movies.

9. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool Filters do not like Jell-O.

14. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

15. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

16. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

17. You probably do not want to know what the odor is. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

18. The fire department has a 5 minute response time.

19. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

20. If you think your kids are being good because itís quiet, RUN FAST!!

*** Return to Home ***