01/16/01
It WAS Stoney's fault! Obviously, I, Stoney Tombs, writes all this crap so back off! Seriously, The Hookers are done. The reasons are many. The good news is that The Rock n' Roll Outlaw will be continuing on! Details are sketchy as to what capacity The Outlaw will continue on but rest assured, it will be MUCH better than the Hookers (well, you know, with the exception of a solo or two, here and there.) Of course I can think about that last comment when I clock in to work tommorrow. We'll probably start another page when the "mystery" project is up and running, but until then, this page will have up to date information about all the new Hookers releases to come. The Get Hip 7" should be available in a few weeks (the test pressing is done now). Getting that 7" should be pretty easy. The A side will be 'God made me the Raven', a rocker with apocalyptic ramblings and octave solos. The b side is a cover of UFO's 'Rock Bottom' This is the only song the Hookers EVER did that was done in one, live take! Too bad we're not on Crypt so we can plaster that fact all over the fucking sleeve! I know all six of you rabid Hookers fans are saying, "Get to the MEAT, STONEY!" "Why did you and Outlaw kick everyone out?" "What is the Outlaw's new project going to be exactly?" "What are your thoughts on Napster?" "Is Stoney really going to pursue a career in professional kitchen work?" All these questions will be answered in time. Well, except for that last question. The answer is a resounding, "YES."
11/2800
First, here's a rundown of what's coming out soon. * A Get Hip 7" (out in the next months) * CD/10" on Devil Doll records (slated for Feb.) * 10" on Uber Alles records (2 new ones and Manowar, Charlie Daniels covers) German only * Live German only CD/LP on People Like You Records * Split 7" with Nashville Pussy on Black Lung (soon......soon) * The Rock n Roll Outlaw Lp (a month or so, probably less) Whew. Of course we all know that it'll take at least 4 years before all this bullshit comes out. Ok, so we missed the Vegas Breakdown (what did we miss exactly?) and we didn't play the COS show (we were present) but we did play three weeks in Germany! First off, the COS supershow was tons of fun. Unfortunately, we missed Hellstomper (by the way, their new Man's Ruin cd is INCREDIBLE) but we did see the almighty Antiseen! They played one of the most mindboggling shows yet, complete with fire, tacks and folding tables (you had to be there). Jeff had ole Stoney and the Outlaw blushing like little schoolgirls when he dedicated "Kill the Business" to them! Truly one of the most poignant moments in all of our careers! Preach on, Brother Jeff. Now on to Germany. Our three week tour was led by Oliver (Hitler), Christoph (Himmler) and Robert (Rommel), three of the finest Krauts you'll ever met (not the Nazi ones). Oooohhhh, I bet Donovan will shit his pants over references to Nazi officers!!! Yes sir, 18 shows in 19 days, covering Germany, Belgium and Switzerland. Belgium proved to be one of the craziest places in the world. Of course, the drinking age is 16 and all the bartenders have braces. Apart from most Germans being way too whiney about our 19-28 minute set ("Fuck you," said many a Gunther, "you play longer.....I've waited so long.") most of the shows were great! You see, my American comrades, German promoters, clubs and music consumers are excited about music and try to make the "touring" experience a good one. Food, beds and sound checks are usually a part of this "touring" thing in Germany. Oh, and most clubs actually promote the shows and actually try to get people to come to them! Oddly enough, it seems that the record labels in Germany also take an interest in promoting the shows AND their records. Amazing, isn't it. Speedealer hooked up with us in Belgium after having a some cancelled Motorhead shows and gave us a welcome change on the bill. If there's one band on the planet that deserves mansions and fast cars, it's Speedealer. By the way, Stuttgart, Germany was the Hookers last show ever. The Hookers have officially broken up. More news in a week or so.
07/11/00
The Sub Pop 7" has been out for a couple of weeks! Most record stores should be able to get it but you can order direct from Sub Pop if you want. I believe the entire press was colored so don't get taken on EBAY. The corporate offices of Sack O' Shit records have received the cover to the Outlaw Lp and the Live Lp. There will be NO cds! The live album will be limited to 666 copies (natch) and I believe the Outlaw record will be limited to 500. These will sell out FAST. I will post a notice on the main page when these will become available! I'll leave an address and price for each record as they become available! They should be very soon so check back often! Not too much more to report except that most "independent" record labels suck and handle their business like two year olds. Leave the two year old shit to the MUSICIANS! All true Hookers fans should check out an online "magazine" column entitled "The Worley Gig." The ever mouthy Stoney Tombs is consumed in a online battle of words with so called "rock critic" Gail Worley. Check it out and if you want, email her at rezpect@aol.com to tell her how great the Hookers are! Keep it grammatically correct and refrain from calling her a bitch or a cunt! Threatening emails will just look stupid so keep it smart! Some new tour dates will go up soon. We should hit the East and West coast in AUG/SEP. Apparently this thing in Vegas is supposed to be a big deal so I guess we'll have to flex our muscles. Oh, we'll also be playing the COS supershow in Sept.! We'll have a separate news section for that! Ok..............BREAK!
04/23/00
The live album and Outlaw solo album will come out pretty soon. Actually, recording and touring have prevented us from doing the covers. Yeah I know, LAME. The covers should be done this week and when either record is available, it will be posted on the main page. The Outlaw lp will probably be pressed on cd as it's too good to be vinyl only. The Sub Pop cover is done and looks awesome! It'll be purple vinyl but I don't think it'll be too limited as Sub Pop has realized our full commercial appeal. Ahem. The Zeke tour was smoking! Except for some bullshit van problems that made us cancel the last two dates, everything was ROCKING! HIghlights include- *Playing with ANTISEEN (Thanks for the 'Twins of Evil' dub, Jeff!!) *Playing with The Swinging Dicks *Seeing a very loud, fuck....TOO loud High on Fire *Playing Oklahoma City and having, literally, the entire city buy a t-shirt and cd (thanks you fuckers) *Jamming on UFO's 'Rock Bottom' on stage with Marky Felchtone(of course he won) *Seeing Billy Gibbons shamble down the street in front of me (take that Donnie Razor) *Stealing a bowling pin from The Fireside Bowl with help from Wes of The Bulemics. Well, that's it for now. After I recover from the tour induced delirium, I'll write some more garbage about the tour. Upcoming bullshit will include split 7 inchers with the likes of Antiseen, Zeke, Throttlefinger and the third lp which will be released on Halloween! More Later.
02/22/00
The Rock n' Roll Outlaws' solo record RULES! Yes, recording went off without a hitch and another masterpiece is born. The tracks are as follows: Acid Tammy, Ridin' Free, Forever Halloween, Hard Rider, 18 Wheels, 'Glory is Yours, Vengeance is Mine', PLUS four covers! Old Man, Hit the Road by Antiseen, Shoot 'em Down by Twisted Sister, Livin' on the Run by David Allan Coe and Black Rose by Billy Joe Shaver. I, Stoney Tombs, produced it (along with The Outlaw) and even layed down some guest solos on a few songs. This will be 2nd in the seemingly "collector orientated" line of Hookers Sack O' Shit releases. It won't be before the live record but it won't be too long cause this record is on FIRE! Borderlining on the Rock n' Roll side of things, this party record will most likely be titled, "Livin' Free and Ridin' Hard." What happened to our guestbook? It was there and then it was gone. Hackers? Fans who want us to play 'Kiss my Fuckin ass'? I think that the webmaster erased it all since it was getting a little out of hand. I'll get to the bottom of this. Rest assured, if it's some hacker, Stoney and Outlaw will take care of things in their own way. I can see it now, various anti-metal heads will email us, claiming responsibility. "You do any Manowar covers, and the WHOLE site is going down!" Bastards.
02/15/00
The Rock n' Roll Outlaw and Stoney Tombs are going to Chicago this weekend to record The Rock n' Roll Outlaw's SOLO RECORD! Produced by none other than Stoney Tombs! That "loaded" motherfucker, Ryan Morono at Sack O' Shit, has set up a fine studio in Chicago for the two of us to wreck havoc in. Ryan works pretty quick so it'll be out real soon. Who knows what shit the Outlaw has cooked up for this record. BTO covers? REO Speedwagon? Songs that the Hookers should be using? Who knows? Rest assured it will rock! After it's recorded, we'll leave some news. Also, June 20th is the release date for our Sub Pop 7". We're going to go retro on Sub Pop's ass, so we can file it next to our Tad and Mudhoney 7"'s!
02/08/00
I suppose there's no talking about the last tour, because it's long over with! Except for a few shows where NO ONE came, and a minor technical disaster at AL's bar, the Throttlefinger/Hookers tour went off without a hitch! First off, everyone should go see/buy Throttlefinger. Every night ole Stoney Tombs had to go on after Mr. Donnie Razor to get his ass kicked. It wasn't pretty. Mr. Razor is now giving Stoney lessons from his lavish manor in San Francisco. Luckily, Stoney has sufficiently stolen most of Donnie's Schtick and plans to make it his own. If I could just get those artificial harmonics!?! Throttlefinger rocked every single night and even witnessed our "acoustic" set in Flagstaff, Az. Good show, Donnie. Anyway, please support this band because if they can't outsell us, they might pack it in. What can we say about Sacramento's The Nits? I think you'll be hearing a lot about this group of weirdos in the next few months. Look, just because they covered "Rock and Roll Riot" (complete with a hardcore beat) isn't why we like them! They seem to have quit a few styles but everyone of them rocks very hard. Dwarves, DRI and The Descendents(don't laugh, you have some of their records..admit it!!!) all come to mind. Their new 7" is easily one of the best records I've heard in a while. You know, one of those things that you keep wanting to listen to. I guess I could write more but you Nits motherfuckers have your OWN webpage, Dammit! Their singer makes a great bagel sandwich, though, AND they like sitting around playing video games and smoking pot! Another great show was some party in Denton, TX. People in Denton know how to spend money! Of course, the Boozers were up to their usual rockiness and another band, The Swinging Dicks, were the surprise of the evening. They play the usual punk/rock combination but just seemed to have something different. Really catchy and very rocking! That's it for the plugs, I'll think of the other good bands later (were there anymore?). Look for our live record on Sack o Shit records. It will be 12" vinyl only, limited to 500, one time pressing. You'll only be able to order it direct from Sack o Shit. I'll put the address for SOS when it's ready. I think the vinyl is being pressed right now, we just have to do the cover. The show is from Green Bay and features a guest appearance by Donnie Razor of Throttlefinger. The recording is pretty funny, you'll listen to it at least once. You can always sell it on ebay! Has everyone seen the Hookers ebay activity? It's crazy! $35 for our first 7"? $17 for the Zombiemaker 7"? These should be HIGHER! I'm actually selling one of my few black vinyl Halloween 7" on ebay right now! Another Man's Ruin cd/10" is being written right now. The Sub Pop 7" should be out pretty soon, it might be a singles club record......who knows. The a-side will be a cover of "Highway Star" by Deep Purple and the b-side will be a cover of "Ready to Burn" by Krokus. I guess that's it for now on new records. I heard from a higher source (ie. a semi-famous musician in a semi-famous band who sells a lot more records than The Hookers) that a lot of people are freaked out by 'Black Visions of Crimson Wisdom.' Let's hear some feedback! Fuck, I'm getting tired. I'll continue this later. Oh, I almost forgot! We'll be playing the SxSw Man's Ruin showcase w/ANTISEEN. We couldn't be any happier playing with one of out ALL TIME favorite bands. This will be one hell of a show! Check out the new tour dates, kitchen work doth call........
10/09/99
First off, The Hookers would like to make a proper send off to one of the greatest Rock n Roll warriors ever- Larry Terbush from The Dirtys. All of us were bummed to hear of his death. The Dirtys are good friends of ours and Larry was our FAVORITE one! All past and present Hookers members will miss him A LOT. Rock on, Larry! The Devil Doll single is out. The Black Lung Halloween 7" just came out today! For all you collector scumbags, 100 on black vinyl and 900 on orange vinyl. All the black ones and 100 of the orange ones will have a numbered insert that also spoofs the original insert. Confused? Some pain in ass production went into making the Halloween 7" look like the original. Did Danzig go to Kinko's back in the day or did he make Jerry Only do it? More importantly, though, is our new LP! Black Visions of Crimson Wisdom! Howls of "sell-out" "too metal" and "effects-laden" will be ignored. Go out and buy this record! The vinyl is gatefold and limited to 1500 and also includes the "tundra" shot that is NOT on the CD. No more room. DAMN!
9/02/99
The Hookers, in their quest to put out a record with every single label in the world, have just been signed to Sub Pop for a 7".Yeah, yeah, so you're saying,"Sub Pop sucks now!"Well, they can't suck too bad if they want a Hookers record.The Devil Doll 7" should be out by now and includes a 'different version' taste of the upcoming album.The a-side will be 'Black Magic Stallion' and the b-side will be 'Tonight We're Gonna Rock You Tonight' by Spinal Tap and 'Slash Your Face' by the Dogs.The Black Lung Halloween single WILL be out before Halloween and just in time for Danzig to sue.Steve Baise worked very hard to ensure quality rocking and you know you can trust that motherfucker.The a-side is 'Halloween' by the Misfits and the b-side is an Outlaw original entitled 'Valhalla.'The cover and all will be a faithful reproduction of the original Misfits Halloween 7", so buy in lots of 15 or more.October and November USA tour dates will be posted soon.Don't forget October 5th which is the day 'Hookers II Black Visions of Crimson Wisdom' comes out.
7/20/99
The Second LP is DONE! This motherfucker will either be the album of the millenium or the album that everyone looks back on TEN YEARS from now and says, "That was the album that changed everything!" You have NO idea what you fuckers are in for. The official release date is October 5th. There will be vinyl but you fuckers need to be quick because there's only 1000 of them. Gatefold, even. I doubt Scooch Pooch will repress seeing as Satan's Highway has been out of print on vinyl for decades. The Devil Doll 7" WILL come out in August. Future plans include an Australian only release, a Halloween single on Black Lung(produced by Steve Baise!), a limited vinyl only LIVE release on Sack o'Shit, another Man's Ruin 10" and some more 7 inchers (Intensive Scare and others). Unfortunately, after this full length comes out.....music won't even need to exist anymore. Believe it! Also, check out August Nashville Pussy dates.
6/29/99
The Hookers just spent five days in the studio recording their second full length lp for Scooch Pooch records. It should be out in August. The Devil Doll 7" should be out in less than a month or so. Plans for a black light cover fell through and will feature a normal halloween orange and black cover....just in time for summer. Catch The Hookers on their upcoming June U.S. tour (see tourdates).The Rock and Roll Outlaw will have a solo 7" out soon on Scooch Pooch and will gladly autograph it with, "Tickle me, bitch!" If you ask him nicely.
