Note: thanks for viewing, i hope you enjoy as i relive and detail my life to this point...Rage
A star is born in a distant. It shines, it enlightens, and then it dies. In the end will you reflect upon your life. Was it a good life? Enough to base a movie on?
Those last two lines are from one of the greatest entertainers in my mind, Jim Morrison. Whether u find this journey u and i take together to be an enlightened one is none of my concern for I am starting this for several reasons...therapeutic reasons as these last several days have been trying, reflecting on my own chapter of the prison ive endured the past 20 some odd years on this planet, and for the sake that i may not get to share my experiences before my light goes out for it may not be long.
So the Journey begins...on July 17..two decades ago, yours truly takes a first breath of oxygen as i'm extracted and set foot in the world. My journey begins in the middle east. Because of the oppressing war brought on by Israel, we pack up and move to the States. I have no memory yet sometimes in my dreams, i can recall visions or flashbacks. I even sometimes have dreams of being in a closed space in a fetal position, which can attribute to suppressed memories of being in the womb. We land in beautiful California.
. Not only is it disheartening to learn you was a mistake, but apparantly feeling that proper care couldn't be given, my mother was going to opt for an abortion. This could be some of the resentment i have for my family. All ready do i not embrace life, i could imagine if the teachings of religion is true of pre life, how i felt when i was chosen this path, and the pressures of my pro life grandmother forbidding it to be done, and instead i'm born
So the gods with their humor shuffle the deck and deal me my hand of cards. Life can be hard trying to guess life's dealing the next card, i'm sure i'm floating i don't like this hand at all.
I've often pondered today why i've decided to bring these installments other than for therapy reasons...i guess it's so what three people may actually view my website can maybe understand the pain i go through everyday, understand my distaste for life, or maybe relate...or could see how the higher power sees my existence as a sitcom as i guess i'm the highest rated in my timeslot.
Have you ever imagined what it'd be like to be in the shoes of the less fortunate? Often times i look and wished i was maybe born mentally challenged. If you notice, they always seem to be happy. No matter what happens,they 're full of happiness. If i could for once....have that feeling, i might appreciate waking everyday. For once...i would like to know what true happiness is. to be concluded