A businessman and his secretary are overcome by passion, and the exec convinces his paramour to retire to his house for what is popularly termed a "nooner."
"Don't worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, and won't bother us."
The pair are necking in the business man's bedroom, when the secretary gasps, "We got to stop now! I'm not using any birth control"
"No problem," he replies. "I know where my wife keeps her diaphragm."
He immediately begins rooting around in the bathroom. After a half hour, he returns to the bedroom in a fury.
"That witch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me "