Libertarians of the World UNITE!
Yes I realize that statement is an almost impossible goal for individuals who pride themselves on rugged individualism.
Unite? When they pry my economic text from my cold dead hands! I can just hear them say.
But I have found an issue that any Red Blooded Libertarian (at least surely all the male ones) can stand behind, and beside and in front of to tell the truth.
Yes Guys our MOST SACRED INSTITUTIONS have been threatened, indeed, abandoned by their previous mainstay and driven into the wilderness.
Of what am I speaking? I speak of and FOR
THE SWEDISH BIKINI
Yes I am here today to report The Sordid Tale of a Craven Beer Company which has surrendered to the Feminist TransNazi hordes and driven those Fair Maidens into the wilderness!
Their Viking Ancestors must be looking down from Valhalla and howling with SHAME!
But I cannot go on. I am too choked with emotion.
Turn you now over to their present defenders for the full revelation of this venality.
"Not so long ago, from a land not so far away, five gorgeous, bikini-clad beauty queens came forth into our land and descended upon outdoor man-places. They brought cases of ice-cold beer, gourmet camp food and festive music. Their parties pushed the native men-folk to the boundaries of their pleasure quotients. It really didn?t get any better than that! The Swedish Bikini Team beauties had no qualms about showing off their womanly virtues to worthy men; they had it and they flaunted it: in beer commercials, Playboy Magazine, live appearances, on Married With Children. These babes were born to party. Then, the dark forces of NAAG, the National Association of Angry Gals, an anti-armpit shaving, feminazi organization, mobilized?god, were they abnormally plain-looking?and set out to stop the original Swedish Bikini Team from making any more beer commercials. The final blow came when the Beer Company pussied out and left the beauty queens high and dry. They were ultimately forced into permanent exile by this gaggle of so-called "feminists". They shut down the entire original Swedish Bikini Team media campaign. NAAG also infiltrated the Beer Company that sponsored the television ads. This is part of an overall NAAG plan to eliminate all normal male-female relationships. They were disturbed by the fact that gorgeous bikini-clad babes sold their beer on TV. One of the NAAG hags, Gloria Allwet, even refuses to admit in public that there are any differences between men and women. How ridiculous! She refuses to differentiate between a slot and a tab! Get real, Gloria! Anyway, the bottom line is, unfortunately, the original Swedish Bikini Team is in permanent exile and will not rise again.
Not to be outdone by Politically Correct NAAG hags, I have decided to found a New Swedish Bikini Team and get revenge on those pathetic souls who caused the demise of the original SBT. The war is on.
Now that the new official Swedish Bikini Team has emerged from the friendly fiords of Scandinavia, it is time to pay our respects to the original Swedish Bikini Team. May they rest in blissful harmony in permanent exile and may they lead healthy, wealthy, happy lives."
There you have it Guys the Die Has Been cast,A Line Has Been Drawn in the Sand. The Barbarian Hordes are at the Gates!
It is time to take a STAND!
To paraphrase the words of on of the Founders of the American Revolution during the crisis in his day,
It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter.
Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace--but there is no peace.
The war is actually begun
The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field, and our sisters are in Exile!
Why stand we here idle?
What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?
Forbid it, Almighty God!
I know not what course others may take; but as for me,
Beer and Bikinis
Or Give Me Death!
Note: anyone know where I can get an audio file of the Deguello to put with this post?