son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do they call me spastic at
school?
mom: Shut up and take your legs out your pockets.
son: Mommy, Mommy! the kids next door are calling me a
three headed dragon.
mom: There, there, now don't you worry - three heads are
better than one!
son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!
son: Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too
big.
mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your
father can bring the car in!
son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a
big head?
mom: Don't worry about them. Now take your cap and go
get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.
son: Mommy, Mommy, why is my head soaking wet and
everything is spinning round and round?
mom: Shut up or I'll flush again!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Am I done with my bath yet?
mom: Shut up or I'll flush you down!
son: Mommy mommy ! When is the pool going to be ready
?
mom: Shut up and spit ...
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing.
mom: Shut up and stop squirming.
son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want my hair braided.
mom: Shut up and lift the other arm.
son: Mommy, mommy, can I have a cookie?
mom: Yes, the cookies are on the top shelf.
son: But mommy, I haven't got any arms!
mom: No arms, no cookie...
daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear.
mom: Billy, let go of Susie's ear.
mom: Billy! Let go of her ear!
mom: All right Billy, give me the ear.
mom: Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
son: No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth?
mom: Yes, now shut up and get the jar!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
mom: Shut up and step on the gas!
son: Mommy Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down
here.
mom: Shut up or I'll flush it again.
son: Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages
they send to Africa?
mom: Shut up and get back in the box!
son: Mommy, Mommy I don't want to go to China!
mom: Shut up and put your other foot in the CARE
package!
son: Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a
monkey!
mom: Shut up and comb your face!
son: Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf?
mom: Shut up and comb your face!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
son: Can Granny take me?
mom: Why?
son: Her hand shakes.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the
cliff?
mom: Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress?
mom: You know it won't fit over your iron lung.
son: Mommy!Mommy!Who will I stay with while you are
gone?
mom: Grandma Dear now get in the coffin.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now!
mom: Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glasseye today!
son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
mom: Shut up Albert....
son: Mommy, mommy, why is your hair so green?
mom: [Sneezes into hand] Sure don't know, son. [wipes
hand on hair]
son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a
long nose?
mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the
floor.
son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV
and I can't?
mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas
in July?
mom: Shut up, you know you have cancer.
son: Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator
shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!
son: Mommy, Mommy! What do you want with that ax....
son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
mom: Good, it's working.
son: Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow
up?
mom: Nothing, dear. I have AIDS!
son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.
son: Mommy, mommy! I don't see what's so hot about
watching tv!
mom: Shut up and turn the damn thing on!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten
mom: Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it.
son: No he didn't, he promised me I could!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play
baseball with us?
mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and
legs!
son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second
base.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey?
mom: Shut up, you little snot.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.
mom: Shut up son and keep swimming.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England.
mom: Shut up and keep swimming.
son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to
swim?
mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!
son: Mommy, mommy! how far is America?
mom: Shut up and keep rowing.
son: Mommy, mommy, can I go swimming?
mom: Shut up. You know iron lungs don't float!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
mom: Shut up. I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the
door.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
mom: Shut up and get the maple syrup.
son: Mommy, mommy, dad's been run over in the street!!
mom: Don't make me laugh; you know my lips are chapped.
son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and
deal those cards.
son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
mom: Shut up and pass me the crowbar.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other
kids?
mom: Shut up and deal.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't know how to play poker.
mom: Shaddup and deal.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop
everywhere?
mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!
son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps
bleed.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
son: Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in
circles?
mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
son: Mommy Mommy! I'm getting dizzy!
mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
mom: Shut up and flush.
son: Mommy mommy, I hate you
mom: Shut up or I'll eat you.
son: Mummy, mummy, please can I have a spoon?
mom: Yes of course dear. Why do you want the spoon?
son: Because Daddy's been sick, and the cat's getting all the
big bits
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost
heap.
mom: Shut up and keep eating.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we get a garburator?
mom: Shut up and chew!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
mom: Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat
grinder!
mom: Shut up and eat your hamburger!
son: Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!
mom: Shut up and eat your french fries!
son: Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!
mom: Shut up and eat around it.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked!
mom: Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the
big chunks!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?
mom: Shut up and flush it like everyone else.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for
supper!
mom: Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice!
mom: Shut up and drink it before it clots.
son: Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
mom: stop complaining! Just eat it!
son: Mommy, Mommy!
mom: What is it now!
son: Do I have to eat the beak as well?
son: Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to
make ginger bread men?
mom: Shut up and get back in the oven.
Son: Mommy Mommy, is this really the way to make meat
pies?
mom: Shut up and get back in the microwave.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.
mom: Shut up and eat around it!
son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
mom: Shut up and eat your cornflakes!
son: Mummy, Mummy! I don't like grandma.
mom: Well leave her on the side of your plate then.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa.
mom: Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.
son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog
food Fido wouldn't eat?
mom: Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
son: Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt
Edna for dinner?
mom: Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother
yet.
daughter: Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.
mom: All right, you can take another slice.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts.
mom: Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis!
mom: Shut up, and keep eating!
son: Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts.
mom: Well, just leave them on the side of the plate.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like the crunchy stuff in my
pea soup!
mom: Shut up. Do you think I pour Grandpa's vomit
through a slieve?
son: Mommy, Mommy! I wanted to lick the bowl this time.
mom: Shaddup and flush.
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti!
mom: Shutup or I'll rip the veins outta yer other arm!!!
son: Mommy, Mommy! I HATE red and green spagetti!
mom: Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.
son: Mummy, Mummy! what's for dinner?
mom: Shut up and get back in the oven.
son: Mommy, mommy! I don't want any more hamburger!
mom: Shut up and stick your arms back into the meat
grinder.
son: Mommy, mommy! Daddy threw up all over the kitchen
floor.
mom: Just ignore him, son.
son: But little sis is getting all of the BIG pieces!
son: Mommy, Mommy! are you sure this is the right way to
cook Beijing Duck?
mom: Shuddup and close the microwave oven door behind
you!
son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow
pudding again?
mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer
infested.
son: Mommy, Mommy! are we really vampires?
mom: Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
son: Mommy Mommy! I'm not hungry anymore.
mom: Shut up and finish your paint chips.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running so fast?
mom: Shut up, and shoot!
son: Mommy, mommy, why is everyone running away?
mom: Shut up and reload.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!
son: Mommy, mommy, I don't wanna visit Grandma!
mom: Shut up and keep digging.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Joey is biting grandma's nail.
mom: Joey, stop it, or I am closing the coffin!
son: Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon!
mom: Shut up and close the coffin!
son: Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on
this golf course?
mom: Shut up and search the sand traps!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma?
mom: Not today, we already dug her three times this week.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?
mom: Shut up and keep digging.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to see daddy again.
mom: Shut up and keep digging.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!
son: Mommy, Mommy! Can't we give Daddy a decent
burial?
mom: Shut up and keep flushing!
son: Mommy, mommy! I don't want to go to China.
mom: Shut up and keep digging
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls!
mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!
son: Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!
mom: Shut up or I'll flush it again!
