Bill Casey's Testimony

Before Christ, life was lonely, empty, and crazy - and I had a strong fear of death. If you had asked me if I was a Christian I would have said, "Of course. I go to Mass every Sunday, and I'm even the head usher!" Besides, I know and accepted the fact that Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, and rose from the dead. But something was seriously missing.

I was born the oldest in an Irish family of four. Dad was a tough disciplinarian, giving me many a licking with the old strap as I was a strong willed child. I had to learn more than one lesson, as Dad would say, "the hard way". He thought a good parochial school education would give me all the tools I would need to deal with life so he paid for that all the way through high school.

As I got older, I was an alcoholic, workaholic, and lustaholic, blaming parents, wife, and church for all my personal problems and inner torment. Using people and loving things to get my way, my favorite song then was "I Did It My Way".

I ran from painful consequences to my make believe worlds of illusion and delusion. My way of living in my lustful, alcoholic, computer world made me feel very guilty and very very bad. I didn't think that there was a person on this earth who would love me if they knew the real me. I escaped reality by fleeing from my home life, spending long hours either at work or playing hard on the ball field or in the bars with the big boys.

Even there reality had a way of creeping in, and sometimes I wondered who was slave to whom, as occasionally I had to spend long hard hours debugging a program over some simple thing that I had missed. Other times I'd be so frustrated often spending all day working on a down computer, knowing I made absolutely no progress!

Payoff for my insane uncontrollable behavior landed me inescapably, in a very controlled program of intense outpatient therapy based on the "Twelve Steps". I moved in with a friend who I thought was somewhat different, as he had no TV, and asked me not to bring one. Little did I realize at that time, that he was a Believer, who attended a church of grace (Ephesians 2:8,9) not works like my church. I thought he just enjoyed all his church activities, and listening to his Christian radio programs.

Life now seem not worth living as I felt odious, and never knew emotional pain like this, with no way to escape it via booze lust or work! I soon wanted not only out, but to get even with my family. I believe prayers on my behalf back in the spring of 82, along with my own last second whispered prayer "Oh God Help!", spared me from taking my life, by freezing my body on top of a bridge railing that I was about to jump off onto a busy highway below. I was then overcome by a very real feeling that I was being safely led by someone to a special place that turned out to be a secluded waterfalls just a few blocks away that I had no idea even existed. There I freely openly wept, in total conviction of my sins and how I had terribly hurt and let down God and my family. I started praying, "Oh God I'm so sorry, so very very sorry," over and over again. This I believe was God's way of softening my cold hard heart, and the beginning of a new spiritual journey.

Listening to Christian radio seemed to help. I told Jesus He could have me if, and I listed off my conditions, and kept my distance as He was just too scary. I heard about the truth and power of Scripture so I decided to test it out literally. Isaiah 40:31 says "They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles wings, they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint." Two guys at work talked me into running the first ever Twin Cities Marathon, so it all fit together. While out on my daily runs over the next ten weeks, I would often say this verse out loud. I ran that entire marathon, and completing it in three hours and seven minutes!

Then on July 27th 1983, 1 took a terrible body slam fall off my ten speed bike that could have killed me as I broke my left collar bone in two places, then the surgery to repair it resulted in a very serious staph infection that nearly finished me off. When I was recovering in the hospital someone gave me a book called Verdict on the Shroud by Stevenson/Habermas. Jesus became real to me along with the painful reality of my sinful life and that I had totally utterly failed as husband and daddy. I was convicted of my sins and ready to do something about it, and there on page 242 it said :.."faith, which always and still remains a trust in God's Son, Who shed His blood for our salvation."

I had found the missing piece! I must simply trust Jesus alone as my personal Lord and Savior as He has done it all "IT IS FINISHED", nothing needs to be added by me or any church, or can be really it's a done deal. After placing my trust for salvation in Jesus's completed work, a very deep real inner sense of peace and inner solidness came over me, with those bad feelings of loneliness, emptiness and craziness gone! Jesus seemed to talk directly to me when He said in John 6:47 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life."

I replaced my morning runs with a quiet time with Jesus and reading the Word. The Bible became my supreme authority and seemed so very real and exciting to me now. I started a schedule of reading through It in a year's time. I learned how the Old Testament pointed to Jesus as Savior, and found special healing in the story of Joseph in Genesis. In it I learned that serious sins against our family members have life long consequences. Then the New Testament especially the writings of Paul cleared up many of my old religious misconceptions. Romans Chapter 8 became my most beloved chapter in the Bible.

Now when my old self-centered man is being tempted, I remember an even say out loud at times 1 John 4:4, ". . . greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world" Another verse that was given to me by a friend that I found to be very powerful in my life is 1 Corinthians 10: 13 "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, Who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear." What awesome power these verses hold in continuing to change my life.

The Bible story that means I personally relate the most to is Mark 5:1- 20 dealing with the mad man called Legion. I truly was responsible for all my sinful actions, yet like "legion", I was an addict. I felt as if no earthly chains could hold my addiction, as this world and I were powerless to fix or change me. Legion's insanity for me speaks of the cost of addiction. Only Jesus had the power needed to change Legion and Bill Casey. The power that I needed to be not just set free of it, but to be given a new life of meaning worth living. 2nd Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold all things have become new."