Journal News
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August 20, 2001
From August 16 THE RECORD, Louisville, KY
Light One Candle by Msgr Jim Lisante
"Carroll O'Connor earned a place in paradise.
Having the legendary actor Carroll O'Connor as a guest on our television program was a genuine thrill. Like most adult Americans, I grew up with his, beloved, if irascible, incarnation, of Archie Bunker. Carroll O'Connor was a terribly gifted man who managed to teach us both right and wrong through the opinionated blue-collar Archie. We could laugh at him, but we also understood that the limits of his tolerance were sometimes a mirror of our own prejudices and limitations.
Years later Carroll gave us another challenging portrayal in the television drama, "In The Heat of the Night." In their unique and powerful ways, both his comedy and drama series taught us about the need to live the Golden Rule. It's a lesson Carroll O'Connor tried to live throughout his life. And it pained him when all his efforts came up short.
I remember asking Carroll if he felt that his programs had advanced the cause of racial harmony in the twenty-five years since he first came to prominence. With an expression etched with sadness, he said that he doubted it. "After All In The Family,' and 'In the Heat of the Night,' we're still dragging black men to their deaths in places like Jasper, Texas. So how far have we really come, Father Jim?"
But ever the optimist, Carroll said he had confidence that what we lack the ability to accomplish, would, through the grace of God, be made right one day. That outlook, especially reflected his attitude toward the tragic loss of his son, Hugh the child adopted, by Carroll and his beloved wife, Nancy. .Hugh was the apple of his eye. Brought back from Italy as an infant, he never lacked for the dedicated love of his parents. But all the love in the world can't always thwart the path of drug addiction. For years, Hugh wrestled with this demon and his parents wrestled along with him. If they could have willed him to sobriety, they would have. If they could have offered their lives in place of his, they would have. But it was not to be. Driven to despair, Hugh took his own life. In a way, Carroll's heart died on the same day as his son's.
Oh, he did what he could to spread the message about resisting drugs. He did continue to love his widowed daughter-in-law and his grandson. He worked a bit. He went to Mass each week in the company of his wife of half a century, praying for peace. But, truth told, he also carried a sadness that would not be lifted. Friends say he aged significantly in the years following Hugh's death.
At our television interview, O'Connor spoke of Hugh with gentleness and a proud love. But he was struggling, still. You'd see it in the sorrowful tone, in the eyes that longed to see his son again.
Then, toward the end of our conversation, the topic turned to life beyond this life. I asked Carroll if he believed that our lives continue beyond the earthly journey. His answer was unequivocal: "Absolutely." Then I asked him if he thought that Hugh was alive and living in heaven. Again, the certainly: "Without a doubt." And with my final question, a gentle smile returned to his face. "Carroll," I asked, "do you expect to meet Hugh again in the hereafter?" I will always remember his twinkling eyes and the certainty with which he said, "Oh, yes."
Sadly, we have lost an actor of great talent and charm. Sadly, his family is without a husband, a father-in-law and a grandfather whom they adored. But I know of one place where there is surely great happiness. And that's in a place we call heaven, where a father and his son are joined in a loving and much-longed-for embrace. Rest in peace, Dear Carroll. You have well earned your place in Paradise.