Sathinar
was tired of pigeon. And pigeon jokes. It seemed everywhere he
went there was some silly story writer jamming a pigeon down his
throat. Sometimes they hadnt even been cooked! Well he knew
when he wasnt wanted around. Oh yes he did. And he did not
have to stand around and take that kind of abuse. No he
didnt. It was about time the Aes Sedai learned just how
much they needed him. Yes it was. They would miss him when he was
gone.. Oh yes they would. And then they would be sorry. They
would beg him to come back! They would offer him dinners of roast
beef and potatoes and some Green Blend mint tea. And
if they didnt he wouldnt come back. He knew when he
wasnt wanted.
He finished packing his belongings. A spare pair of clean
smallclothes which he was saving for a special occasion, his
autographed picture of Ben T-Gaidin, he really didnt know
where he had gotten that, but hey, it was kinda neat and the
frame was shiny so he kept it around, and finally his pillow. It
was a really great pillow and he had invested much time and
interest in breaking it in. It had just gotten to the perfect
shape and softness and there was no way in Randland that he was
going to leave it behind now.
Muttering to himself he walked out of the White Tower not even
noticing the Novices making sure he wasnt on his way to the
dovecote. Oh he knew where he wasnt welcome. Yes he did.
He also knew where he was welcome. he had been told of a haven
for men on the fringes of society like himself. And even if his
reputation preceded him, which he was sure it would... for a
place without any form of mass communication or mass transit
rumors spread surprisingly quickly, he would still be welcome. It
was even said that the leader of these men had been caught with
chicken feathers in his mouth! Yes, when those Aes Sedai came
begging for him to return they just might find that he
didnt want to come! They would offer him the Amyrlins
rooms, and then the whole White Tower, and then all the Aes Sedai
in filmy dresses to wait on him (even though that was more of an
Ender thing it would be an interesting story to tell his
grandchildren), they would come to him crying and apologizing for
everything they had done and even some things they hadnt
done just to be sure they didnt miss anything. Oh yes they
would. And then he would look down on them kneeling at his feet
and would say No. Yes he would. And then they would
offer him a country or two, they would force the ruler to
abdicate and give it to him! And he would look down at them again
and pretend to consider their apology. But of course he would say
No again. And then he would say Yes you need me now
dont you. You need me betcha wish you had
thought of that before and not been mean to me dontcha? Dontcha?
See now it is really too late for you. Yes it is. Because I
happen to like it here, and the guys like me too. I have real
friends here... not friends that are just using me.
Yes I do. And maybe I dont want to come back! Maybe I have
found people like me! And maybe we have more fun here! Maybe we
do! And then he would cease his tirade and allow them time
to feel the full effect of his speech. And then they would cry.
Oh yes they would. Because they were girls. And girls cry. He
would leave the room while they were still weeping over how
horrible they were. And then they would go back to the White
Tower and redecorate it to suit him and start preparing a huge
feast and pretending to be crazy so that he would come back. And
maybe he would come back, and bring some of his friends back with
him. And if he liked it he might stay.. And if he didnt
well.. At least he knew someplace he was wanted...
Sathinar followed his train of thought all the way to the Black
Tower. Yes, this could easily be home. The taints effect on
the human male resulted in behavior and attitudes very similar to
Sathinars. Yes he would be welcome here. He looked around.
Sitting next to a tree was a man in a black coat talking to a
chicken, not just confiding in it.... he was actually carrying on
a discussion about thermodynamics with the poor bird. Now that
was something Sathinar had never done. Not even in someone
elses silly story. Yes, he had been forced to eat pigeons,
but never, not Once!, had he talked to the bird first. That was
just plain crazy. Warily he continued walking toward the
farmhouse he assumed was the main building.
@*$%@#*&!
Reverently Callandor stacked the cleaning supplies in his arms
keeping a hand free to carry his new broom. He would have to
think of a majestic name for that broom soon, but right now his
Tower needed him and he should be on his way. He pulled the door
partway open with his pinky and then pushed it the rest of the
way open with his foot and backed out. He turned around to face
the hallway and shrieked throwing his packages up in the air.
Reflexively he dove for the floor cushioning the fall of his
broom. Then he looked back at the horrendous object which had
caused his intense reaction.
Kaylie popped her head out of her disguise. It had worked!! In
the back of her mind she wondered if this could count as her
novice prank and she could be raised already. In the front of her
mind she thought about just how she would like her bologna
sandwich for lunch, mustard and mayo? Mayo and mustard? Lettuce?
In the middle of her mind she thought VICTORY! GO KAYLIE.. GO
KAYLIE!
Callandor blinked as what had appeared to be a huge dustball
turned into a young girl. Then his eyes bulged and he covered his
ears as the amplified sound of microphone feedback squealed
through his mind.
Kaylie had much the same reaction to much the same sound. As the
squealing ceased a voice could be heard by both of them through
the ringing in their ears TEST. THIS IS A TEST. There
was a muffled thudding noise, much as a huge thumb tapping a huge
microphone might sound. TEST. 1.. 2... 3... A pause
and some mutterings followed by HEEEEEEEELLLO LADIES AND
GERMS! THIS IS A TEST OF THE DARK ONE BROADCASTING SYSTEM! IT HAS
COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE WAS THINKING IN ALL CAPS AND
THAT SOMEONES THOUGHTS WERE JUST BROADCAST TO A LARGE
NUMBER OF PEOPLE! NOW USUALLY I WOULDNT MAKE MUCH OF A BIG
STINK ABOUT THIS, BUT I JUST GOT THIS NEW PA SYSTEM AND I
REEEEEEAAAALLLY WANTED TO TRY IT OUT! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ALL
CAPS IS MY TRADEMARK AND I WOULD THANK YOU TO REMEMBER
THAT AS WELL. ALRIGHTYO. THATS ABOUT IT I THINK, I AM GOING
TO GO BACK TO WATCHING THE KIDS IN THE HALL NOW.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
The static in the background of the message suddenly stopped as
did the maniacal laughter. Kaylie looked at Callandor, Callandor
looked at Kaylie. Could it be that the Dark One had begun to
touch the world again?