Narell's Response to Kathana's Sequel
Date:03/6/99 08:12:46
Name:Narell
Subject:Sequel to the Sequel, well actually more like an aside..;0P
A frantic crash can be heard outside the Amyrlin's study door. Then an uncharacteristic squeak from Chissa. The door is flung open to reveal a very irate Narell Sedai. Narell is wearing a chunky looking woollen dress, woollen stockings and wooden clogs. Her face is so flushed with anger she looks like a red ajah billboard. In her left hand is clutched a very crumpled piece of parchment, the Randland version of Cleo magazine. In the other is a violin.
"Mother how dare you write the Sequel without putting me in it? Look, here is Francesca and here is Ender, but where am I? Am I chopped liver? Am I Vanilla pudding? Is it because my channeling powers are now equivalent to that of a peanut? If so, then I could sue you for wrongful omission. I lost those powers because of my job and I want compensation! Say I get to be first in line for dessert for six months at least. Now back to this... "
She stabs a finger on the the offending parchment she has spread out on the Amyrlin's desk.
"I should be the only one allowed to threaten to kill Ender, after all I am his warder. Warders should get first dibs. Especially ones made involuntarily. Lately he's been hanging around the greens too much too! That's cause enough in my book."
"And here." She dumps the cumbersome violin on the desk as well.
"I am tired of playing second fiddle to Francesca, her bowing action is shoddy, and something is off on her timing. I want to play first Bassoon from now on, you hear me? Now if I had sucked up to you an hour earlier I would have been head of the illustrious Red Ajah, but how was I to know that chocolate pudding was your favourite. I thought raspberry was very appropriate!"
She starts to cry.
"Look what your stories have done, Francesca not only burned her filmy dresses, she burned mine too. She's decreed all reds must wear wool from now on! I can't wear wool, I'm allergic; it gives me a rash. And look at it! It bunches and doesn't cling at all, no wonder Ender has drifted over to the greens! It is all your fault for writing those cursed stories and I will make you pay. You may be the Amyrlin but you can still do penance!"
With that she claps her hands and Lonewolf enters carrying two large covered buckets. His manner is both uncomfortable and excited. He sets them down at Narell's command.
"Anything else? I won't stay and watch if you don't want me to, but I love a cat fight. And since she chose Asha'man over me...are you going to Jelly wrestle?"
At Narell's glare, he shrugs. "Guess I should check on Chissa and make sure she is alright. Dumpling...You ok?" He moves into the next room.
Narell's attention turns back to the silent Amyrlin sitting in her Amyrlin seat, by her Amyrlin window.
"Why don't you speak? I would have thought you'd have wrapped me in air by now and dumped me out in the corridor on my rear..."
"Well, that's just it, my dear. You see, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I thought I'd let you rant away and then you'd get tired and leave, but well....You see, I don't really want the others to know...Ummm and now there's nothing to do, but...Could you perhaps untie me, dear? Then I'll explain everything, you see I am the Amyrlin and I know everything and can solve everything, my word is law. Except of course,Forkroot tea tastes so much like mint...Well, let's just say Asha'man has a funny sense of humour. I'm going to have to spank him when I find him."
Narell thinks to herself, this is one messed up Sedai.
"No, I am not going to let you free until I have done what I came to do."
Narell bends down and lifts the lids from the buckets. The Amyrlins' eyes widen and begin to bulge at the sight of.......
Wet cooked Fettuccine and Vermicelli
"I am going to flagellate you now, you naughty, naughty Seat!"
The screams and maniacal laughter echoed through the streets of Tar Valon. Many people heard, and shook their heads, murmuring to each other about the state of affairs at the White Tower. One merchant wondered at the shortage of pasta in the city.
