The Secret Workings of Jewels's Small Twisted Mind

I...Julie Holbrook...am a pathetic liar. I am in love with someone...someone that hurt me. Inside I know that I love him with everything I have. But on the outside, I have let everyone know that I have given up...and I'm over him. In fact, I let his best friend know that I had feelings for HIM instead. How low is that?

Jared told me that he cared about me. He wanted to be with me. I thought that there would be nothing that could tear us apart. But I was wrong. Jared hurt me. He had a girlfriend...a girl named Sarah. But he never told me about her. I found out from one of his friends actually. We fought about it...and he ended up hurting me more. But I didn't let him know that. I just wanted things to be okay between us. So it was. But inside I was hurting so bad.

He told me that he was stuck between me and Sarah. He felt the same way for both of us, and she was just lucky cause she lived closer or something. I made it my motive to move on...to force myself to. But it's not that easy. This is a website where I can just pour out my thoughts. Cause the rest of the world thinks I'm over him...but I'm not. I'm gonna put a whole bunch of clips from songs I've heard...the ones that explain the way I feel.

I never had a dream come true till the day that I found you. Even though I pretend that I've moved on, you'll always be my baby. I never found the words to say that you're the one I think about each day. And I know no matter where life takes me to, a part of me will always be with you.
A Dream Come True
S Club 7

Once in a lifetime...you'll open up your heart. Once in your lifetime you'll swear to never be apart. You think your love's on solid ground and out of the blue it all comes tumbling down. Who's gonna hold me tonight when I'm feeling lonely? Who's gonna show me the light? Cause I need to know. With all the things we've got...how can love just stop. Tell me somebody help me understand.
Help Me Understand
Trace Adkins

Somebody tell me why two lovers in love can't make it. Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
Long Goodbye
Brooks and Dunn

I still love you and I will forever. We can't hide the truth. We know each other better. When we try to make it work, we both end up hurt. And love ain't supposed to be that way.
Stay Gone
Jimmy Wayne

I'm not saying I'm battered and bruised but I might as well be with the words you used, but I believe in myself and that makes me stronger.
More to Me Than You
Jessica Andrews

I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark and these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power, but you won't.
Don't know

Remember me when you're out walking. When the snow falls high outside your door. Late at night when you're not sleeping and moonlight falls across your floor. But I can't hurt you anymore. You'll find better love strong as it ever was deep as the river runs. Warm as the morning sun. But please remember me.
Remember me
Tim McGraw
This doesn't exactly work here...I mean...he DID find better love. But all the same, I want him to remember me.

Being without you takes a lot of getting used to. Should learn to live with it but I don't want to. Being without you. It's all a big mistake.