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Buffy hadn’t slept all night. She’d been unable to drift off, and it was close to sunrise. She sighed, knowing that she would at least sleep the next evening out of pure exhaustion alone. She got out of bed and quietly paced her section of the room, finally settling in front of the slightly open window, letting the cool evening breeze wash over her body.

She sat with her owl Willow at her feet, gently stroking the bird’s feathers, letting the soft cooing lull her into a more calm state.

Buffy heard someone else moving around the room quietly and knew that Hermione was awake. It wasn’t unusual for Hermione to awaken at six in the morning, especially when there was still learning to be done. Buffy couldn’t help but feel an acute stab of pain with the realisation that she was still missing Willow with almost a physical ache. Hermione was a terrific friend, and Buffy knew that she considered the brown haired girl to be one of her best friends, but she still missed Willow and Xander.

Buffy felt the air around her shift as Hermione took a seat beside her.

“Morning,” Hermione whispered quietly so as not to wake the other occupants of the room.

“Hey,” Buffy replied, turning her attention to the girl.

“You still awake or are you up early?” Hermione asked.

“Still awake,” Buffy admitted. “I’m just…not really wanting to sleep tonight.”

Hermione nodded and reached out to stroke the orangey-red owl as well, Willow lapping up the attention she was receiving from the two girls.

“How are you anyway?” Hermione asked.

Buffy shrugged, Hermione barely able to make out the gesture in the dim light.

“Okay I guess,” Buffy replied. “It’s not all sunshine and roses just yet, but…I dunno. I’ve still got you and Harry and Ron. Plus Drake. And that Hufflepuff girl that Neville took to the ball, Tara, she and I have been kinda getting to know each other. It’s just…everyone else seems to be afraid of me. Not that I can blame them.”

“They’ll come around eventually,” Hermione assured her

Buffy nodded, desperately hoping that Hermione was right. As much as she thought she could handle whatever the other students threw at her, it was becoming more and more difficult each day.

Lost in thought, Buffy nearly missed the owl that was hovering outside her bedroom window. She nearly gasped in shock, but managed to reign it in. She opened the window and allowed the owl to enter. It dropped a small package at her feet, gently nipped Buffy’s finger and left before she could even get a better look at the bird.

“Who’s it from?” Hermione asked.

Buffy shrugged and picked up the parcel. She ripped off the brown wrapping paper and saw a beautifully wrapped box. Attached to the box was a card. She slid the card out of the envelope, startled by the cover design.

Happy Eighteenth Birthday!

Buffy opened the card, curious as to who had sent it. A small slip of paper fell out of the card, and she read it before looking at the card’s inscription.

Dear Buffy,
I haven’t spoken a word of where you are to Willow and Xander. I just told them I knew how to get in contact with you. They wanted to send you something for your birthday, and I didn’t know how to tell them that it wasn’t your actual birthday today. I told them that you were safe (or as safe as YOU can be) and that you loved and missed them. They still think of you, and I know that you still think of them. I hope you’ll consider reuniting with them one day in the future when things have calmed down in London. Happy Birthday Buffy.
Love Angel.

Buffy swallowed hard. It suddenly dawned on her why she had been unable to sleep. It was her birthday. The day that she and Angel had acted on their love for one another and everything had gone (literally) to hell. She folded the letter and looked at the card.

Dear Buffy,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Angel told us that he couldn’t tell us where you were, but he told us you were safe and that you were thinking of us, so I guess that makes it kind of okay. I miss you Buffy! More than I can really say with words. Even Cordelia misses you! I hope that you’ll come back to Sunnydale one day and that you’ll come and visit the gang. We’re holding it together, and Angel’s been a really big help. It was pretty awkward with him at first, but, we’ve gotten used to it. Even Xander’s not too bad around him now! Shock horror hey? Just remember that we’re still thinking of you and that we love you. Oz said to say ‘hey’. Give our love to Giles as well!
Love Willow.

On the other side of the card was Xander’s messy scrawl.

Dear Buffster,
Just to copy Wills, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Eighteen huh? Too bad you can’t drink yet here in the good old US of A. If that’s even where you are. Deadboy refuses to tell us. We miss you Buff, more than you know. We’re just hoping that you’re safe wherever you are. Say ‘hey’ to G-man for me will ya? Hope to hear from you and hope even more to see you sometime in the near future. Cordy threatened –asked- me to mention that she misses you as well and that she hopes you’re okay wherever you are. Miss ya, love ya, really wanna hug ya!
Love Xander.

Buffy couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped her throat, thankful that it was slightly muffled so the others wouldn’t be woken up by it. Hermione shuffled forward and hugged Buffy tightly, unsure what had caused the tears, but knowing that whatever it was, it must have been big. Even when the trio had confronted Buffy about her parentage Buffy hadn’t cried as she was now.

Buffy finally settled, composing herself.

“You okay?” Hermione asked.

Buffy nodded and gave her a shaky smile.

“You gonna open that package?”

Buffy stared down at the box and reached for it with shaking hands. She undid the ribbon and carefully unwrapped the paper. Inside were two smaller wrapped items that were covered in tissue paper as well as a small velveteen jewellery box. She carefully unwrapped the first, smiling as she saw the beautiful silver-plated frame with all of the Scoobies, including Giles and Angel in the photo. Around the frame were the words: Scooby Gang Fighting The Good Fight.

She unwrapped the second item and found another framed photo that had been taken more recently. It portrayed only Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Oz. Around the frame were the words: Still In Our Hearts.

Her hands were shaking even more intensely as she picked up the jewellery box. She opened it and smiled. Inside was a beautiful silver Celtic cross, the chain long enough so that the pendant would settle in the centre of her chest. She took it from the box, testing its weight. It was heavy, but not enough to make it uncomfortably so.

Buffy smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I didn’t know it was your birthday,” Hermione whispered.

Buffy shook her head. “It’s not.”

Hermione looked at her in confusion, her eyes asking for an answer.

“My birthday’s not until July.”

“So, what’s with the gifts?”

Buffy sighed deeply and picked up the card that had come with the gifts. She looked again at the cover design, the numbers proclaiming her to be eighteen.

“Today would have been my eighteenth birthday,” Buffy whispered.

Hermione was now even more confused than before. “Eighteen?”

“Yup. Buffy Anne Summers, born on the twentieth of January, 1981.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming up.”

“But…Elizabeth Temdrolvo Riddle was born on the first of July, 1983. Nearly a year and a half later. I’m sixteen and a half,” Buffy explained.

Hermione felt something important click over in her mind.

“The Ministry changed your date of birth so that You-Know-Who wouldn’t be able to find you.”

“Yup. Fat lot of good it did,” Buffy said bitterly. “Plus, you know, finding out that you slept with your boyfriend when you were really only fifteen instead of seventeen really isn’t the best thing.”

Hermione’s jaw opened in shock. Buffy almost laughed, but kept it in.

“I feel older than eighteen anyway,” Buffy said quietly. “Too much has happened in too short a time.”

Hermione sighed in sympathy, wishing she could better understand the girl she considered to be a best friend. It was strange to think that she knew barely anything about Buffy.

“Can I ask…you…you slept with someone called Angel didn’t you?” Hermione asked.

Buffy’s eyes widened. “How…”

“You talk in your sleep. Sometimes you sound like you’re really enjoying yourself,” Hermione said, blushing prettily. “Other times…it’s not so good.”

“Yeah, we uh…it was pretty intense between us,” Buffy admitted.

“Did you love him?” Hermione asked curiously.

Buffy nodded without hesitating. “I loved him a lot more than I should have. Things between us were…complicated. A bit too…”

“Romeo and Juliet? Forbidden love?” Hermione suggested when Buffy found herself at a loss for words.

Buffy looked at her friend and Hermione laughed quietly at the shock written on Buffy’s face.

“How did you know that?”

Hermione looked away guiltily.

“What?” Buffy asked. “How did you know?”

“Promise not to be mad?”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah.”

“Harry read your journal.”

Buffy’s eyes widened once again. Hermione was fairly certain that the girls eyes were about to fall out of their sockets.

“He did what?”

“It was just after we found out about you being You-Know-Who’s daughter. He…he wanted to know what you really thought, what you felt. So…he kinda went snooping. He didn’t read much. Only a page.”

Buffy sighed and let the anger deflate. She couldn’t blame them for going through her things, especially when they’d been convinced that she was evil. Honestly, she’d probably have done the exact same thing if she’d been in their shoes.

Buffy sighed and figured it was time to be complete and totally honest with her friend. She was getting tired of her friends only knowing half the truth about her.

“You really wanna know about me and Angel?” Buffy asked.

Hermione nodded and Buffy sighed.

“He was a vampire.”

“What?”

Buffy grinned. She loved getting that reaction.

“He was a vampire,” she repeated calmly. “He had a soul. He was good. We fell in love and eventually, we decided to…y’know…act on it. Except, there was a stipulation to his soul. If he ever found true happiness, his soul would be lost.”

Hermione winced, knowing what was coming next.

“Let me guess,” Hermione said quietly. “You true happinessed that soul right outtta him.”

Buffy nodded. “Yup. On my seventeenth birthday. Exactly a year ago tonight. I think that’s why I can’t sleep. I didn’t even realise what day it was until that owl flew in.”

“So what happened after that?” Hermione asked, truly interested. She’d never spoken to anyone who’d had this much experience before, and it was extremely enlightening.

“He went evil for a coupla months. Tried to end the world. He opened up a portal to hell that would only close with his blood. And…well, we’re still here and not in hell, so…”

“You had to kill him?” Hermione whispered.

Buffy nodded. Thrusting that sword into Angel’s gut was one of the recurring nightmares that she’d been having, besides Harry’s nightmares. The worst nights were the combinations of both nightmares when Lily and James Potter were sucked into the portal before Buffy had a chance to kill Angel.

“Yeah. Not a lot of fun.”

Hermione knew that Buffy was trying to keep things light even though she was most probably dying inside. Hermione gave the girl a small smile and hugged Buffy impulsively.

“Thank you for trusting me with this.”

Buffy smiled and hugged the girl back tightly. “Thanks for listening.”

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