Rating: um....Arrrrr. for now. maybe NC-17 in later chapters.

Pairing: Jack/Will (with about two seconds of Will/Elizabeth)

Summary: Will and Elizabeth realize what a flat couple they are Elizabeth sets her birdy free to find...um...other birdies...Sparrows even...

Disclaimer: I am in no way cool or smart enough to own anything that makes money, so...um...yeah. Not I.


Distribution: Wherever, whatever. Who am I again? *blink*


A/N: Not beta'd. If anyone wants to beta future chapters let me know and I'll make them my indentured servants.



~~~~~~Chapter One: "So..." ~~~~~~

Elizabeth settled her skirts around her chair in a decorative swirl and smiled across the small table. Will, obviously following her lead, settled awkwardly into the seat opposite her and watched her expectantly. Elizabeth sipped at her tea. Will sipped at his, wishing there was more sugar in it.

"So..." Elizabeth started after a moment. Will looked up at her, seeming excited at the prospect of her next words. She frowned internally, trying to think of something to say. "So... Jack!" She said triumphantly, grasping at the topic that she knew they could both follow to. Will shifted in his seat, silently urging her on. "Commodore Norrington has set out on the chase."


"Yes! This morning. I saw Dauntless leaving port." Will agreed eagerly. "The Black Pearl has quite a head start, however." Elizabeth nodded in agreement, sipping at her tea.


Another few minutes of tea sipping. Elizabeth wilted slightly in the expectant light of Will's regard. She waited a moment more before growing frustrated. She set her tea cup down on it's saucer none to gently, making her companion jump. "This is madness, Will!" She declared. He blinked at her owlishly, as if he'd been dozing during their spectacular lack of conversation.

"Madness?" He asked, confused. She sighed and slumped back in her seat as much as her stiff linen and brocade gown would allow.


"We have absolutely nothing in common to speak of!" She jumped to her feet and paced to the parlor door and back. He rose, looking a bit shocked.


"But I love you, Elizabeth, surely we have something..." He trailed off at the fierce, frustrated look she turned on him.


"And I love you, Will, but love it seems, is the only thing we ever speak of! Love and Captain Jack Sparrow! I have ever adored tales of pirates, Will, but I will not base my life upon the intangible and the insane!" She took his hands in hers and looked him in the eye, pleading for understanding.


“Surely we can find something to bring us together... we can fix this!” Will insisted. Elizabeth shook her head sadly. “That is not the only problem. I have not spoken of these concerns before but now I see that I must.” Will suppressed a wince. He knew he would not like what she had to say. She continued on, "I know you, Will, and I know that if we married, you would go mad from the boredom that any husband of mine would be forced to lead. I hardly keep my sanity and I was raised to it! I would not feel right binding you to a life of misery." She watched him closely, praying that he would listen. “You were meant for greater, wilder things.” She whispered.


He seemed about to go into his increasingly naive speeches about how they loved each other and love will conquer all, but stopped himself. After a moment of deep thought on his part and fidgeting on hers, he looked her in the eye. Swallowing his protests, he said the words he knew that she needed to hear. "I would not say it is madness so much as foolish." He said and smiled ruefully. "Maybe there is a reason beyond status that Governor's Daughters and Blacksmiths do not marry." She smiled sadly at that and kissed him softly on the cheek. “But I believe that you were meant for greater things as well.” He added softly. She sniffled in a most unladylike fashion.


"I was born into my cage, Will, there is no exit.” She told him, blinking back tears. “You are a good man, Will Turner. A good man and a good friend. You will be happy in your freedom. You would only grow fat and bitter in a cage unsuited to you." Will smiled sadly and kissed her one last time.


He left her parlor feeling guilty at the sense of freedom that hit him and managed to get himself on a ship outbound within a day and was safely in port again before he allowed himself to feel the loss of the woman he had loved so long.


~~~~~~


"Yo ho yo ho a pirate's *hic* fer you..." Jack blinked at the creatively phrased rendition of his favorite song being intoned behind him. Turning in his seat, he faced the drunken wretch that was now mumbling "duhduhduhduhduh *hic* duhduhduhduh Duh! *hic* up me 'earties! Yo ho!"


"Oh tha's lovely, gent." Jack complemented and patted the man's shoulder encouragingly. The half-dead drunk acknowledged him with a twitch and peered unseeingly at him through stringy brown hair.


"'Liz'bet' loves dat song." He slurred. Jack grunted and took another swig from the cracked bottle of rum that was leaking its contents slowly over his hand. He leaned his chair back against the wretch's table and looked around the tavern for anything worth noting.


"A tale of woe then, is it?" Jack commented in an idle fashion. He then wiggled his eyebrows at a whore across the room and made a show of licking the rum from his fingers. "She leave you for a richer fool?" The drunk snorted. Jack watched the tart wandering her way toward him, stopping to treat with several drunks on the way.


"We'd nothin' in common she says! Says that all we talk 'bout is love!" He laughed bitterly. "Love an' Cap'n Jack Sparrow!" The drunk inhaled the rest of the contents of his bottle while Jack blinked at him in surprise. The pirate took a closer look at his afflicted companion.


He used his rum bottle to lift the drunk's hair from his face and revealed none other than Will Turner. A very drunk and disconsolate Will Turner. Will did not recognized Jack in his stupor so Jack decided to leave the blacksmith to his drinking for the time being. The flirty strumpet had arrived and planted herself in his lap.


Jack turned his attention to the woman's cleavage, deciding to wait for a more sober time for both the boy and the pirate to discuss just what Will and Elizabeth had been saying about him. He was vain, yes, but at the minute he was more interested in the services the woman was willing to provide.



******


Authory babble:


Yeah..I know this chapter has no real slash in it...you'll just have to be patient and not claw me eyes out, k? It'll happen when it happens!


~~~Chapter Two: ~~~

Jack woke some time in the late afternoon with and exclaimed "Don' 'urt bunnies!" and then promptly fell silent when he realized that argument he was having with Bootstrap was merely a strangely distressing dream. Happy in that realization, it took a moment for him to button down that he was pinned to a rather uncomfortable bed by three different bodies.

The bodies themselves failed to surprise him; what pirate did not find himself under a pile of unconscious bodies every so often? No, what surprised Jack was the fact that he had gotten so excessively sotted that he did not remember a moment beyond his first romp in the tavern the night before.

In spite of the character he so often portrayed before all and sundry, Jack very rarely managed to imbibe enough to be truly drunk. One reason, was that he rarely had the money necessary to defeat his high tolerance. Another reason was that he preferred his revelry to last the night through and so did not wish to waste time face down in a dirty street. These things all played a factor, but mostly Jack had learned well in his first years as a pirate so long ago, that a drunk rarely lived through the night in many of the places he frequented.

This time, however, Jack appeared to have gotten off rather unscathed. To be certain, he quickly wriggled an arm free of the heavy head of the naked woman on his right and groped at his head. He sighed in relief when he confirmed that his hat was still firmly on his head.

Looking down at himself he reassured himself that he still wore his sword belt and pistol if not actual clothing under the threadbare covers. His mind put at ease, Jack turned his head to inspect the fortunate ladies that he had managed to...manage... the night before. He quickly decided that they had probably looked better in the dark lighting of a tavern rather than the soft sunlight that seeped through the cracks in the shutters. He next flipped the covers down so he could inspect his third bedmate and found none other than Will Turner curled around his bare feet.

Jack stared thoughtfully at the comatose boy and experimentally moved his left foot. His toes met bare flesh leading him to the conclusion that the lad wore naught else but the loose white linen shirt that was visible. Jack raised his eyebrows at that, silently impressed with himself for landing at least one decent catch the night before.


The pirate pulled his feet free of the pup and rolled over a whore to get to his feet. He then stood, swaying on unnecessary sea legs while he reclaimed his clothing from where it'd been strewn the night before. When he had one leg in his pants and was trying to get the other one in place, he was distracted by female snicker.

He looked up at the brunette whore that lay sprawled, watched him. "Enjoying the show, luv?" He asked as he finally conquered his trousers. She smiled, revealing teeth that were better left covered.

"Nothin' so 'musin' than a pirate on one foot on dry lan'." She said cheerily. He grinned toothily at her. Smiling, she nudged her blonder compatriot awake and together they attempted to wake the unconscious man at their feet.

"Think 'e's cracked, Cap'n." The blond concluded when Will failed to respond to their prodding. Jack found a half empty bottle of spirits and swallowed a few mouthfuls while he pondered the young blacksmith.

"Dress'm, will ye, lovelies?" Jack asked. The ladies obliged, tittering over the helpless man's assets while Jack finished covering his own. "Ladies, it has been most indubitably been a pleasure. Perhaps next time I will be fortunate enough to remember it!" He bowed with a flourish, tossed a pouch of ill-gotten gains on the bed and hefted the blacksmith to his shoulders. His exit was only slightly less dramatic due to his staggering under the weight, but the whores hardly cared. They were occupied with rather enthusiastic cat-fight over their pay.