First of all, these are ideas. Second of all, if you take the advice on happy ways to die from this list, PLEASE don't blame it on me...I don't want to face a lawsuit or any shit like that.
1). Tease rabid animals.
2). Eat the MN. state fair cheese curds.
3). Shoot paint balls at the pres. in full veiw of the C.I.A.
4). Super glue your eyes, mouth, and nose shut.
5). Hang yourself with a guitar string (result, you're headless)
6). Lock yourself in a room and listen to nothing but Barry Manilow untill you rip out your own skull.
7). Somthing involving Jackie, and oral sex (most likely, you won't understand. but-hey, I don't want to explain).
8). Hide in a crate of diet pills being delivered to the Ricki Lake show.
9). Tie your feet to a tree, and tie your head to the bumper of a car. Turn on the car, and put a brick on the gas pedal.
10). Strap steak to yourself, and walk naked in the savanna. (naked is just the fun part!)
11). Tie a thin, but strong wire across 2 trees on eather side of the road at neck level. Drive a motor cycle at top speed between the 2 trees.
12). Eat golf balls, then take laxitives.(most likely you won't die...but it will make you WANT to die..)
13). eat FISH HOOKS. then take laxitives..hehehehe
14). Piss off Ralph. (he's real!! REALLY!! He's REAL I tell you!!!)
15). Marry Andrea Thompson. (not from N.Y.P.D. blue)
16). Go to dinner with Hannibal Lecter.
17). Gut yourself like a fish.
18). Go to a Furry party in the middle of the woods during hunting season.
19). Play a Jewel song within 5 miles of Jenny Valley (she'll most likely rip your head off. Jewel is EVIL)
20). Jump from the 4th. floor rotunda at the Mall of America. (just make sure I can be there to watch..but don't land on me. :) )
21). this is getting long, isn't it?
22). Carve smiley faces into your wrists. yay! :)
23). :) :) :) :) :) :( :) :) :^)->-< (damnit..I hate it when my mind trails off....)
24). Join the K.K.K., and dress up like a black man for one of the meetings.
25). Find a picture of Noah when he's naked...it'll probibly burn your eyes out..or somthing...he can't be naked. (Noah..if you see this, I'm not being mean..I just can't picture you naked..it scares me...do you wash yourself in the washing machine with your clothes on?? do you?!?!?!?!)
26) Stick a spiget in your neck, and go to a type O negitve concert.
27). start grating your forehead with a cheese grater....keep going till you get to your brain. (head cheese...Mmmmmm....)
28). Dress in black, and lie in the freeway during rush hour.
29). Make meatballs, and inbed glass shards into them. Eat them.
30). Come within my presence saying the same "southpark" quote over and over again in a not-even-close Cartman voice.