It was some night in November when Campus Life had something called Egg N Beg...which is basically a desperate attempt to get people to donate money to us for doing sadistic things to ourselves with an egg. Fun huh? Our team consisted of Group Leader Sarah, Jason, John, Mary, and Kat.
This is Andrew. Some call him Tyler. Some call him a combination of the two. He's the head Campus Life in our area and on this night, he gave us a rundown of what to do with the eggs.
We departed in Kat's car. Our first stop was a tremendous success because not only did we profit from the Jackson family, we got the money without having to do anything. Apparently we looked pretty sad just standing there asking for cash.
Our next stop was to Joe Haack's house where his mother had the 3 ladies stand side by side in her yard in hopes of beaning the unluckiest one with her egg.
After one complete miss that left the egg intact we granted her a second shot. She then proceeded to granny toss the egg right into her porch roof, breaking the thing. So we got away pretty clean on that one too.
We then walked right across the street to Mr. Zgunda's house. I figured, surely if anyone could wing an egg, the football coach could.
Okay, the quality on this next one is...how should I put it....really bad. But we stood against Zgunda's garage while he held my video camera in one hand and launched the egg in the other. Well...the egg landed right about here...
On the video, he claimed that he missed on purpose. Hmmm...I dunno. At this point a few of the girls were gettin cocky considering we'd been to 3 houses and had yet to meet the wrath of the egg. This is when it starts to get good.
We then walked a few houses to the south and knocked on the door of the Juntunen residence. We were greeted by Ryan who was the only one home. He claimed...
I came up with the diabolical scheme of taking his 2 bucks in exchange for having Kat and Sarah smash an egg between their forheads. Everyone except for those 2 thought it was a fantastic idea.
Our next stop was Sarah's house. Her mother gave us money on the condition that go to Adrienne Campbell's house and demand a matching donation or else do something to them. We tried to come up with devious ideas.
Well we decided to pelt their mail box with eggs if they didn't give us money. Not very devious or violent...but we are living in a society here, people.
We then went to Alex's house. In hindsight, I should have realized that giving Alex any type of power over us was a bad idea. He's a tad twisted you see. Well Alex came up with the idea of cracking 2 eggs in my "dent"
John then had to whip them with an egg beater and stick his head in it. I guess it was worth the 10 dollars...probably not actually. But there's an even worse deal coming up in a few stops...
This was Alan Robinson's house where we got a measely 5 bucks I think. But it was Sarah's head...so in the long run, I guess it was worth the money. The red circle is here to better direct you to the yolkage.
Across the street was B-Rock's house. Mike, his dad, then looked at each of us and gave us a nice little individual speech about why he wasn't going to smash us with the egg...until he got to Kat. She got egged.
Then it was on to Adrienne's house. This was where they either had to match the Peckinpaugh-Family-Donation or watch their mailbox get creamed. Personally I wash our mailbox every Saturday morning so I woulda let it happen, but they saw it otherwise.
Ok now comes that really crummy deal I was telling you about. We were at Sarah Harris's house. They got some type wild spitting animals in their yard that she was wanting us to see. Incase you don't know, I'm kind of a hygiene freak so I wasn't too into that idea.
Anyways she gave us the money and we gave her the egg and went out onto their front porch. Now the cash donation was ok...who am I to say?...but what happened next was just..wrong... Mrs. Harris proceeded to pull Sarah's pants down, dropped the egg by her rear, and then spanked her...cracking the egg in all its glory..eww.
Well that was the end of the alloted time, so we headed back to our HQ and saw what some of the other groups looked like. Matt's group..they didn't look too good.
Of course...John didn't look so shnazzy either. Those things in his hair are hunks of egg shell.
Let's see here....Little Ashley's group had to scavenge for change in her car so that they could tie the group that actually deserved first place. I don't think it really matters because everyone knows that our group could beat them all up.
Enough about those puds. This'll take ya'll's to The'RE'VOL'UTI'O'N'