Dark Days Ahead, Dark Days Behind
Help Me
I'm screaming out for help, is anyone listening? This world has become cold and dark, just like everyone in it. I try to get someone, anyones, attention. But their always to busy. I've grown cold and distand, but who hasn't? I'm not the only screaming, I'm not the only one rejected. But parents don't think we have problems, they want us to be the perfect child. So they push our problems away, hoping they would just go away forever. But they come back worse than ever. We call for help, but no one answers. Then they wonder what went wrong...
-hank
am i depressing?
still holding on
i'm still holding on if you have'nt notice
even though i cut my wrist i'm still a novice
i have mental problems and cant pay attention in class
because i have daydreams of cutting myself with glass
i have many physical problems that cause low self esteem
i punch walls to blow off some steam
i hate everyone,everybody,and everything
i tried to clean up my act last spring..
..but spiriling into depression
maybe i'll learn my lesson
but now i'm stuck with all these poseurs and wannabes
i just wish i could be me
for now i'll be what you picture me
i'll still have problems with my life
until i find the knife thats just right..
..but until then i'm still holding on
-hank
Girly gRrL
I'm sorry I'm not perfect,
The girl you want me to be.
I'm sorry I have a conscious
And to hurt someone would also hurt me.
I'm sorry if you expected more,
That's just not the way to see
That you and I may become something,
But for now,
For now,
Nothing.
-hank
I am A Nobody, You A Somebody
I am a Nobody you a Somebody
I am a Nobody.
You a Somebody.
We could have been together,
But we cant
For people are rude.
We have to follow the rules.
A Nobody and a Nobody.
A Somebody and a Somebody
Never a Nobody and a Somebody,
But together we were to break the rules.
Together we were to stay with each other.
Yet here I am without you, but happy.
I know you are lonely with her.
I used to love you.
You loved me.
Yet you followed the norm.
A Nobody with a Nobody,
And a Somebody with a Somebody.
Oh, how we couldve been different.
Yet you betrayed me.
Now I feel sorry, not for me, but for you
For not staying with the person you love.
Thankfully I found a new love.
He is a Nobody.
Yet now I am a Somebody,
Because of him.
-hank
A bruised and poisoned heart
you tell mee that u luv mee...and that theres no one else...but yet when im here wyth u..i feel like im by myself.....i never should have met u.....shouldnt have been here from the start...kuz now all that u left mee is a bruied and poisoned heart...
-hank
The Darkness of my Insanity
As i attempt tp fly
from this cold, forboding place,
they pull me down, back underneath
a past i cant erase.
I try to cover up
the lies i cannot change.
But, hopefully, when i awake
this nightmare will fade away.
The depression weighs me down
like chains upon my heart.
The screams i cannot stand much longer.
I need to break apart.
Apart from all the lies,
apart from all the pain.
Apart from all the monsters,
driving me insane.
I know that you can hear me
sobbing in the night.
Why cant you try to save me?
Why cant you even fight?
But now i know that no one cares,
so i let them pull me down.
Back underneath my past i sink,
never to be found.
-hank
This is my life
Why is life so unfair?
Everyone is twisted and bent.
I cant even change my hair
Without my parents consent.
-hank
Fighting to Live
And what i would do to feel again, but my sad heart will never mend. In the depth of my soul it lies, broken and in a river of tears. Just waiting for a new chance, all alone. Just waiting to love again. But it seems hopeless, because no one noticed. Tears fall constant from my pain filled life, and i hold on to a timewhen i was safe and loved by you. And now i see that in the end i'm struggling to breath again. Fighting for a chance to live. But maybe i should take my own life.
-hank
paranoia
How do they know?
Why do they care?
These are the questions
I ask myself
There are more;
I just dont want to think about them
See, ihave a fear
im afraid people will find out
That im more than scared
Im paranoid.
I think its a mental diesese
that you cant get rid of
i hope no one will find out
that i have a paranoia.
im afraid of people when they ask questions
like "Is she from here?"
Its like a nagging at my mind
something that wont hide
something that wont go away
not until i die
so as i lay here
All life flowing from my body
i think how much easier
life will be
without that nagging voice.
-hank
Tear
A single pearl like tear falls from a glazed over eye. It slides down their already tear stained face adn hits the floor.
-hank
my life
You know what I'm gonna go back to being the suicidal bitch I used to be because no one gives a damn. Oh and just so you know I got back from that hell hole 2 days ago. Everyone that I care about always ends up leaving me for some goddamned stupid reason. No one says they love me anymore and I'll probably kill myself before school starts again. I don't deserve to live because I'm just a fucked up bitch that no one truly knows except a select few... not even YOU truly know who I am. Go ahead and tell me that I'm worthless my so-called friends do anyway. My life is finally sinking in so why did god choose me to be the sin of the world. If I love I get hurt no matter what. If I try to help I just destroy. I'm the tears that come from everyone's eyes. I'm the one that causes everyone to die. I'm the one that has to break. I'm the one that's supposed to ache. I'm the forgotten. I'm the one who's soul is supposed to sleep. You're the souls that are supposed to keep. Kill me. I don't deserve life. I don't deserve love. I don't deserve to care. I don't deserve to feel. I cant live. I cant feel. I cant care. I can die. I don't want to live. I don't want to care. I don't want to love. I'm the one who deserves to die. I'm the one who breaks the glass. I'm the one who stands out in class. I'm the one who holds everything in. I'm the one who killed her own kin. I'm the one who doesn't deserve life. I'm the one who cuts herself with her pocketknife.
I'm the one who's supposed to say GoodBye!!!
Trust me... I know it's true. That's why I promised myself I wouldn't care for you. Now you know what's wrong, you know why I want to die, you know why I hold everything in, you know why I've been a bitch. I'm what they call a "fallen angel".
-hank
Facts or Lies
Who am i?
I describe myself as a depressed person
But am i just a normal person pretending to be a depressed person?
Am i person who likes exaggerating minor problems?
I dun have any suicidal thoughts
nor am i abused
i have a plain normal family
normal house and all
Am i just a pretender?
Am i just pretending to be depressed to get out of my normal life?
Is that my trueself?
Is that all i am?
Is that who i really am?
A girl who studies for examination and happy when passed with flying colours?
Am i sum1 who likes being depressed because of an incident?
An incident that happens to ever1?
the hard time pulls me down making me think i am the sadest person in this world.
Making me think this world is unfair and cruel.
Is that it?
Is that all there is to me?
Am i just a plain kid who wants attention?
Pretending to be a loner?OR am i really depressed?
WHo am i?Watashiwa dare?Dare?
-hank
