Inside every older person is a
younger person - wondering what
the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong |
The hardest years in life are
those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73) |
I refuse to think of them as chin
hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows.
-Janette Barber |
Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"?
Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed
to put my breast in an envelope and send
it to someone.
-Jan King |
Things are going to get a lot worse
before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin |
You know the hardest thing about
having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's
how I originally got pierced ears.
-Geri Jewell |
A male gynecologist is like an auto
mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow |
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky |
My second favourite household chore is
ironing. My first being hitting my head
on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck |
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis |
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome |
Every time I close the door on reality
it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited |
Thirty-five is when you finally get
your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen |
I try to take one day at a time,
but sometimes several days attack me
at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited |
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The phrase "working mother" is
redundant.
-Jane Sellman |
If you can't be a good example, then
you'll just have to be a horrible
warning.
-Catherine Aird |
When I was young, I was put in a
school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a
hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley |
I'm not offended by all the dumb
blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb . . . and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton |
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb
women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy.
- Erica Jong |
If high heels were so wonderful, men
would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton |
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears
makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr |
I think---therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead |
In politics, if you want anything
said, ask a man--if you want anything
done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher |
I have yet to hear a man ask for
advice on how to combine marriage
and a career.
-Gloria Steinem |
If men can run the world, why can't
they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day
by tying a noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee |
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor |
Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt |
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