We cannot truly be whole until we become one with ourselves. We must believe in ourselves. We must care for ourselves. Then and only then can we be whole. 

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it. 

-Henry Ford

There's a surefire way to double your money; fold it in half and put it in your pocket.

"People wish to learn to swim and at the same time keep one foot on the ground."

-Marcel Proust

It's tough to climb the ladder of success, especially when you're trying to keep your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, your eye on the ball and you ear to the ground.

"After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident it makes you wonder about history."

-Bits & Pieces

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

-Woody Allen

"A small town is a place where there's no place to go where you shouldn't."

-Burt Bacharach

"Consumers are statistics. Customers are people."

-Stanley Marcus

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious."

-Peter Ustinov

"Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners."

-E. Joseph Cossman

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

-George Burns

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me."

-Woody Allen

"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."

-Marquis De La Grange

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

-Dolly Parton

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

-Milton Berle

"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane."

-June Henderson

"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."

-Dennis Fakes

"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief resputes are called panic."

-Cullen Hightower

"Nothing in fine print is ever good news."

-Andy Rooney

"The point of living, and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come."

-Peter Ustinov

"The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time."

-Leo Kennedy

"Luck never gives; it only lends."

-Swedish proverb

"The problem with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."

-Franklin P. Jones

"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks."

-Doug Larson

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."

-John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester

"Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver."

"A radical is a man with both feet planted in the air."

-Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."

-Milton Berle

"Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring."

-Doug Larson

"The best way to remember you wife's birthday is to forget it once."

-E. Joseph Cossman

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."

-Bob Hope

"If at first you succeed, don't take any more stupid chances."

"Irony is when you buy a suit with two pairs of pants, and then burn a hole in the coat."

"If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered."

-Edgar Allan Poe

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

-George Burns

"Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places."

-E. Joseph Cossman

"Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job."

-Bits & Pieces

"what do you mean we don't communicate? Just yesterday I faxed you a reply to the recorded message you left on my answering machine."

-The Wall Street Journal