Title: Driven By You Writer: Kimi Smith Rating: PG-13 Keywords: ANGST MS(R) Spoilers: Sort of Mythology up to 7 but not much. Feedback: Will be framed, re-read, replied to and generally cuddled @ xphila@xphila.freeserve.co.uk or xphila@yahoo.com Writer's notes: It's a sad one. I was going to explain the inspiration but I htink I'll keep that to myself but it was after reading something I found that had me in tears for some time. Well, my dears, I hope you don't hate it too much. 'I'm holding on to life with you Cause life without you just won't do Driven by you' -Brian May Washington DC Post Page 19 11/24/01 MURDER OF THE FBI? FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder was found dead under suspicious circumstances last night. He was found with the remains of medical equipment around him. Drug abuse is not suspected and the FBI have given a statement revealing they are possible dealing with murder but they are saying little else. Mulder was a dedicated FBI Agent who worked on the previously unsolved cases dealing with paranormal phenomena known as the X Files. His profiling and intelligence made him a key figure in many of FBI's situations. He leaves behind no family and his partner has been unreachable. ----------------------------------------- The click of the gun loading was as sharp as a gun shot in her ears. The dark air was cold and silent. The Assistant Director looked at her. Looking again towards the facility. She finally nodded. The signal was sent through the ranks of FBI agents surrounding the secret building in the midst of fields with farming land on all sides. Even from this distance there was a sinister air about the place. There were bright lights on inside like those used in hospitals. But what terrified her the most was what she was praying she wouldn't find inside. Scully followed Skinner as they saw the door being opened. Her gun was out and poised before her. Her breathing was shallow and she was already dreading with all her heart what she was expecting. Her stomach was tying in knots and she wanted to run as far from that place as she could. Skinner looked at her. He was shocked by the pallor of her face. She looked like she could pass out at any moment. Unable to reassure her and not knowing what to say he merely led the way to the door. Once inside they heard a scramble of running feet. Screams resounded around the whole huge building and the scrape and creek of wheeled machines or carts clattered at speed. The entrance corridor was deserted which magnified the sounds ten fold. Then as suddenly as the sounds had come to her ears when she stepped inside, stopped. There was the clattering and banging of a heavy metallic door slamming shut with force and then into their corridor ran one of their own men. The protective gear the man was wearing made it impossible to see his reaction to what was going on and both Scully and her superior were shocked when he ran passed them and crashed through the door, retching and vomiting on the ground outside. The growing feeling of dread and terror that was flowing through Scully reached his peak and she left Skinner, running as fast as she could in the direction the man had come from. Once into the main frame of the hospital she went in the direction of the FBI agents she saw a long way up the passage way. When she reached them she swung round the corner into a large room with silver glistening tables and white surgical bed sheets. Someone grabbed her arm and she turned frantically. "Agent Scully..." He was at a loss for words. Scully stared into his eyes, they voiced her worst fears as she realised everything she had been told was true. Scully shook her head in complete disbelief and, dropping her gun pushed her way through the rest of the Agents in the room who were standing by one of the beds. When she was what they were all mesmerised by her body began to shake. She couldn't move. The paralysis of shock was holding her rooted to the spot, unable to lift even her eyes away from the sight. She felt arms around her as the rest of the colour drained form her face. She pushed herself away from Skinner with such force that she almost knocked herself over. The tears were running down her face by now. Not of grief, or horror, loss or shock but of something completely inexplicable. All those tears were yet to come, once the revelation had sunk in. Right now she wasn't in control of anything her body was doing. She fell on the bed next to him, her hands running over the top of his rapidly cooling body. Her fingers desperately pressed at his neck, trying to find any sign of life. "Scully, I'm sorry, he's gone." Someone had the courage to say. At those words Scully's body racked with sobs, her head falling against her partner's chest, her arms holding him as close to her as she could get. Unashamed of the people watching her she let her instincts take over. She felt someone's hand on her back. She ignored it. Not caring who it was. She finally pulled her head away from her partner and moved herself so her face was hovering above his. She tears were still rolling down her face at a worrying pace, falling onto his. Her hands caressed the sides of his face. Her lips were gently resting on his forehead. She opened her mouth to utter something so softly that few in the room could hear. 'I'm so sorry." and kissing him again, "I love you." The tears which still ran down her face showed no signs of stopping. Her body shook again as she passed out, her arms round her friend. The Agents in still left in the room looked at each other and at her, unsure of what to do. Skinner gingerly pulled Scully up into his arms and laid her on the bed next to Mulder. "Get some water." He made a gruff command, finding it hard, himself, not to break down into tears at the sight before him. Mulder lay stretched out and held down with metal wrist and ankle bands connected to the bed. In each arm was an IV which were now broken at the top with all the liquid gone. Mulder's eyes were closed, his lips were pressed together and his body had a glowing white which unnerved Skinner. From his temples there were two more plastic tubes which had once been attached to something. And there was a deep yet bloodless cut across his collar bone. Skinner forced himself away from the gruesome spectacle and tended to Scully. The water had been brought to him. He was not keen on pouring it over her so he tried to gently coax her back into consciousness with words. Her consciousness brought about fresh tears. She was beyond productive value and looked as sick as he'd ever seen her. Her face was cold and stolid and she was saying something to herself. Finally she looked up at him, her red-rimmed eyes still brimming with tears which continued to run down the worn tracks on her cheeks. "He's gone." He heard her words despite her voice being low, quite and unclear, the power of clear thought and speech, not something she possessed at the time. She closed her eyes for a second before looking again at the lifeless body of Mulder. Without giving Skinner a second look she pushed herself up from the bed, her limbs heavy and uncooperative. She leaned over Mulder. Her hand running along his upper arm. "How can you leave me, Mulder? How can you leave me now?" Skinner looked at her for a second before leaving the room to give her a few minutes privacy while he collected himself and arranged the officers as to the course of action they would have to take. "Mulder, I'm going to finish what we started, OK? I'm going to find the truth and bring them all to justice. I promise you." The full force of his death was beginning to dawn on her and the tears falling now her of shock and sorrow. She kissed him again before finally pulling herself away and fleeing the scene. She pressed herself against the cold wall outside. She pushed her hair away from hers face and stared up at the sky through a sheen of tears. "How could you do this?" she whispered. Then repeated it louder and again as a shout. "He's mine." she screamed, dropping to her knees, her arms wrapping round her head and eyes, grief wracking her body. END OF PART 1/2 Feedback Driven By You PART 2/2 Story Information in part 1. 'You'd be forgiven if you think you're dreaming Cause we're working night and day To make you're dream come true Everything I do Is Driven by you' -Brian May FIVE WEEKS LATER I'm encouraged, amazed and surprised by the response to his death. In the past month I have received so much goodwill, condolences and messages from more people than I could ever imagine have heard of Mulder. Everyone seems to want to know about the X Files. Everyone wants me to give them regular progress reports. The death of my beloved partner seems to be the best thing that has happened to raise awareness of our quest. Yet no matter how many messages and encouragement I receive it doesn't help. I'm glad that his death really did cause a legacy and an increased fight for his cause but it doesn't bring him back. It can't help me now. I don't know if I can go on without him. A month or so has gone by now. I don't think I've had one moment I could have said I was actually feeling better. The loss of someone so close to me is devastating. Even with my father I didn't feel the empty space so much as I feel with Mulder. I've cried every night since his death. Everything I do is suddenly completely out of character. I can't be strong about this. I've spent my life trying to be the strong one in any situation but in this I just can't. I miss him so much. I did promise, however, that I would finish what he started. That is what I intend to do. I'm going to hunt down and kill those people responsible for my dear partner's death and I will stop whatever is supposed to be happening. But that's the problem, I don't understnad it. I never believed when he was alive, in the aliens, in the supposed colonisation of the world. Now I'm not so sure. I don't know what to expect or what is really out there. I promised him I would find the truth and I will. I will find it. I promised again at his funeral. For someone who was so ridiculed and never taken seriously it's amazing the number of people who want to show their respect. Respect they never had to begin with. I think maybe they have realised that he really was onto something all those times. I think they finally realise that there was something going on that they could never understand and they feel guilty they never listened to him. I hardly recognised most of the people there and some I'm sure I don't know. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't do anything. to me the loss of my friend is beyond words. Nothing I could say could ever do him justice and at the time I couldn't have said anything and kept my tears back. I did end up sobbing by his graveside for several hours after everyone had gone home until my brother, home on shore leave, found me. Bill is one of the many people who hated Mulder in life but now he's gone seems to actually care. He didn't have a bad word to say about him. I think it unnerved him to see me in almost perpetual tears. Every time I read something written by him or about him I break down again. It's so hard to imagine the rest of my life still existing now he isn't here. Dead. Death is forever. That is what I can't get round. I have to go back to work in two weeks time. Skinner wanted me to take longer, I don't think he trusts me with myself, judging from the number of times he checks on me. Mulder's death has affected him dramatically as well. I can see it in his eyes. As well as the pity I see there for me. I don't want his pity. I don't want anyone's pity. Pity isn't going to get me through this. All I want to do is bring these people to justice, and finish what my partner started. That's all I need to do. I don't care about anything else. I promised him I would do this and I will. He won't have died in vain. I won't let that happen. I can't let it happen. The thing I am terrified of is that the puzzle is impossible to solve. The lies are weaved so intricately that it there is no longer a place were it starts and finishes. The answers are no longer there, they're mixed with the lies and it's all one thing that has no outcome. I can't believe I'll never see him again. The dreams don't count. The dreams I am plagued with have him in every time. Sometimes I wake from them and want to call him, forgetting until I start to dial that he won't pick up. Every day I want to talk to him and I never can get round he fact that I never can again. It's not an argument. I can't be forgiven. It's lost forever. He's lost forever. I love him. It's not a case of Loved. I still love him. I love his memory. I love everything I can remember about him. His smile, his eyes, his face when it contorted into thought. Even the mini tantrums I witnessed a few times. I miss the way he looked at me when I was upset and they way it felt to be in his arms when I needed it. I have no-one's arms to fall into now. No-one to save me. That is the Most painful thing. I look and I find, I still love him. I still love him. He would hate to know what he's done to me. He would be distraught to have caused me this much pain. I can feel the force of his guilt on me now but it just makes me want to cry harder. I thought the tears would stop. That eventually there would be the sadness but I would be cried out. I'm not. I find it hard to get a grip on myself when I have to. I spend most of my time ready to cry as soon as I try and talk. There is a constant pain in my heart and throat. I don't know how long I can go on like this and I've refused to talk to anyone. I'm especially against discussing Mulder with anyone who didn't know him. I think that there are some things that I would love to tell someone about but I won't because I need to keep them to myself alone. I need to know that I still have some of his secrets. But what I really need is him. Here with me. And that's the one thing I really cannot have. I tell him I love him everyday. I just hope he hears. I hope he can help me, from wherever he is. I need his help to get through this and to fulfil my promise. Because I can't get over him until I do. ThenI wonder. Do I want to get over him? END OF PART 2/2 ---------------------------- EPILOGUE Washington DC Post Page 4 11/24/2014 INEXPLICABLE DEATH OF FBI AGENT FBI Agent Dana Scully MD was found yesterday morning dead at her home in Alexandria. The Autopsy of the 49 year old revealed no cause of death. The FBI has ruled out murder and suicide and her death is being looked on as 'natural'. You may recognise the name, Agent Scully spent a lot of time in the public eye in the last ten years after her vaccine against the disease we all know as the 'Black Cancer' was the only successful antidote to combat the disease which arrived through extra- terrestrial means in 2005. It was also her explanation of events which helped convict several 'traitors of humanity'. Dana is also well known for her famous court custody battle in which she finally gained the rights to adopt Samantha Mulder, then aged eight. Ms. Mulder, 21, said this about her adopted mother's death. 'She's finally with him.' Ms. Mulder refers to her brother, Fox Mulder, deceased in 2001 whose work into the paranormal made it possible for Agent Scully to reach the conclusions she did. Fox Mulder, as Dana's partner shared his quest with her and we assume Samantha means they can now be together after all these years. END Feedback or