After many hours of useless, yet careful and painful telemarketing, visual marketing, and other various study analysis, we at Timeless Gods have developed our simple, yet important mission statement: ROCK-N-ROLL. But an important problem aroused over how to define what makes good rocknroll. In this less than perfect world, a couple of rules have to be enforced in the otherwise lawless rocknroll network. You see, a loud outfit is not good enough if their tunes are not catchy. Additionally, the beat must cause involuntary muscle movements in your toes. Otherwise, you better consult your local rocknroll therapist and be ready to get your soul saved, because SONICALLY LOUD and PRIMITIVE HIGH ENERGY ROCKNROLL, or its roots in the form of bebop jazz, lo-fi blues, catchy rockabilly [minus their over the edge snotty attitude] is a brief sampling of what does rock. These rules are open to change in accordance to the constant shifting trends throughout the times, but we realise that these few laws of rocknroll are what keep quality assurance high.

[thee ANTiHiPSTER]