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SuperTodd's Kool-Aid Machine

SuperTodd's Kool-Aid Machine

It's a tremendous thing that life is. Take for example that love between a man and a woman. It's great on the outside, and when genuine, even greater on the inside. Or like when you haven't seen someone for so many years that you forgot who they were, but when you see them for the first time again, it's like you never got separated. No, that doesn't say enough about the intricacy that lies within. There can be a few things said about a man that will carry a glass of water for his goldfish across a desert without drinking a sip or spilling a drop. But, of course, once you get halfway in, there is no where else to go, right? But his heart is in the right place, and dedicated to the fullest. Talk about your long distance relationships. Once you take all that time beginning something, you'd better take more and finish it. All you need is time. I have that time, and I am that man. You see, I have that time, because I have a time machine. But that is another story altogether.

This is the story about a machine. A Kool-Aid machine. Ok, its not really about the machine, but what we did with it. You see, on the very last day the pool was open for the summer, we decided to have an "end of summer" party with food and fun for all. We kept it exclusive to us lifeguards and close friends that everyone knew, but we did have a few lifeguards from other pools present at this little get together. As the night rolled on, we found we didn't have anything to drink. At this point Brain asked if I had my Kool-Aid machine still hooked up.

The Kool-Aid machine... it has three parts to it. One side was for the Kool-Aid powder, one side was for the sugar, and water came in between. The machine is like a fountain machine the fountain machine at Quik Trip. In other words, it mixes the drink and pours the mixed drink into your cup, so you don't have to stir it. Just the right amount of everything. It also has a couple of water settings on it: 1) Hooked up to tap water or 2) the vast majority of the whole machine is basically a water cooler that can store and pump water. You can get just about anything in the cooler, just as long as the machine isn't set up to get water from the tap. The machine doesn't restrict itself to water either, you can put Dr. Pepper, schnapps, beer, anything (you also don't have to mix in Kool-Aid).

I told Brian that I had it and was still hooked up. Then the thought hit me, what if we used the Kool-Aid machine to turn the pool into Kool-Aid!! No, that wouldn't work, not enough Kool-Aid. Then another idea hit me. I quickly went around and collected $10 from everyone and made a mad dash to Sams and bought as much Kool-Aid as I could. Sams sells Kool-Aid in 48 quart containers for $7. I ended up leaving with quite a few containers, but I had my reason.

When I got back to the pool, the first reaction I got was that of fear. I had all this Kool-Aid and they had no idea what I was planning. Then I told them: I wanted to turn the pool water into Kool-Aid. They thought this Kool-Aid drinkin' hippie had gone insane. Well, it was too late for that. I took my hippie shades off, passed around the containers of Kool-Aid, and we all began dispensing Tropical Punch Kool-Aid into the pool

As any child knows, you add the Kool-Aid to the water and mix, resulting in a nicely blended soft drink. After we added our Kool-Aid, most of it sank straight to the bottom, leaving blue water and a purple floor. Mixing became a dilemma. Have you ever tried stirring things around in a fairly large pool? It's like flashing the Bat-signal on a clear night. It's not always the thought that counts when you desperately needs something done. So we now had to put our heads together and try to figure out a way to mix the Kool-Aid. I decided to get the brushes out. We brushed it up, but it didn't work good enough. Brain then stepped in and suggested that if we could get the Kool-Aid high enough, we could mix it by swimming in it. "Butterfly and Freestyle?" I asked. "Nope. Kiddie Relays!" He replied.

Kiddie relaying was perfect. It's easy to teach too! Simply stated, its swimming a relay like you were a four year old. No rules apply either. We gathered into two teams: Mine and Brian's. My team hadn't quite grasped the concept. We had two people in and out before Brian had got half way done. Brian did his job eloquently. He flopped around the water like a hooked fish out of water. He flopped this way and purged that way. He circled around like he had one arm, came back to his starting point, and tagged his teammate. His na´ve teammate had no clue what was going on and argued that Brian was on the wrong side. Apparently we had to show them these kiddie relays before having them try it. Brian quickly pulled the person in, dunked him a few times, and told him to swim across like he was drowning.

Eventually came my turn. I had my cape on and was ready to go. All the commotion had brought neighborhood people by to see what was going on. I had an audience! By this time, Brian had jumped out and began to cheer me on. I first run up as fast as I could, check the water, and shrieked away. Brian got someone to help pick me up and throw me in. Once in, I immediately began to "drown." I apparently did that right, because one of the lifeguards who wasn't paying attention tried to save me. So as he was trying to save me, I began to swim away in fear. I headed towards the wrong wall, got out, and was pushed right back in (they were getting the hang of it now). The other guard got out too, but I still kept up my panic swimming. I got to the middle of the deep end when I began to flop around like a fish. Then I stayed under water for what seemed like and eternity, mid drift. When I resurfaced, I quickly swam to the end, hit my head on the wall, and got out. Everyone loved the whole show, including the neighborhood people. They said my part was the most childish, but what can I say, I'm a kid at heart!

As I was resting up from my extensive water-aerobic workout, I began to squeeze the water out of my towel. I didn't have enough time to take it off before I was thrown in, so it stayed on the whole time. Brian came up to me and said that as I was drowning, it looked like Toby had taken his revenge. I turned and looked, and all I could do was half-heartedly smile. But the pool was nice and red!!

As we were finally leaving the pool, I told Brian "at least we didn't go through the chlorinator and try to blow up the pool again!"

All he could say was "you and your Kool-Aid machines, SuperTodd. Honestly, sometimes I wonder about you. You can blow up only so many cows at the pool. You hit the quota. You just need to stay away from the chlorinator!"

"MOO!" I yelled.

"Oh, by the way," He said. "I'm still thirsty." We both laughed.