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Welcome to the Hellmouth Quotes!

Cordelia: Excuse me Miss Motourmouth, can I get a sentence finished?

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say I'm a friend.
Buffy: Well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Xander: Very suave, very not pathetic.

Xander: Maybe I’ll see you around. At school. Since we both... go there.

Xander: I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Which part?
Xander: The math. Can you help me out tonight, pleeeease, be my study buddy?

Buffy: Dead?
Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead.
Xander: So, not just a little dead, then.

Buffy: Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, ooo?

Buffy: I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus and I don't care!
Giles: Then why are you here?
Buffy: To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told you...so...bye!

Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?

Buffy: Was there a... a school bulletin? Was it i-in the newspaper? Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know I'm the Slayer?

Xander: Can I have you?
Buffy: ...
Xander: Uh...can I help you?

Angel: I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!

Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or...well, actually, there's just the hard way.

Jesse: You wanna' dance?
Cordelia: With you?
Jesse: Well, uh, yeah!
Cordelia: Well, uh, no!

Giles: Something is coming, something, something...something is, is gonna happen here soon.
Buffy: Gee, could you vague that up for me?

Buffy: Oh come on, a stake through the heart, a little sunlight...it's like falling off a log.

Giles: Did he say anything else?
Buffy: Something about the mouth of hell. I *really* didn't like him.

Willow: Oh, I--I need to sit down.
Buffy: You are sitting down.
Willow: Oh, good for me.

Buffy: So Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the world?
Buffy: Knew I could count on you.

Cordelia: The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town.
Buffy: Where's that?
Cordelia: About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have a whole lot of town here.

Buffy: It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me.
Willow: Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?
Buffy: I can't do both?
Willow: Not legally.

Cordelia: Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker.
Buffy: What?
Willow: What are you talking about?
Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker.
Buffy: Dead?
Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead.
Xander: So, not just a little dead, then?
Cordelia: Don't you have an elsewhere to be?
Jesse: You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on...
Buffy: How did he die?
Cordelia: I don't know.
Buffy: Well, were there any marks?
Cordelia: Morbid much! I didn't ask.

Buffy: I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus, and I don't care!
Giles: Then why are you here?
Buffy: To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told you...so...bye!
Buffy: To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing.

Buffy: First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?
Giles: I'm a Watcher. I haven't the skill.
Buffy: Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off a log.
Giles: A Slayer slayes, a Watcher...
Buffy: Watches?
Giles: Yes...no!
Giles: Something's coming. Something is gonna' happen here...soon!
Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me?

Willow: I thought Xander was gonna' show up.
Buffy: Oh, are you guys going out?
Willow: No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up.
Buffy: How come?
Willow: He stole my Barbie.
Buffy: ...
Willow: Oh, we were 5.
Buffy: Oh.
Willow: I don't actually date a whole lot...lately.
Buffy: Why not?
Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.

Buffy: Dark, gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way.

Jesse: You wanna' dance?
Cordelia: With you?
Jesse: Well, uh, yeah!
Cordelia: Well, uh, no!

Giles: The vampire is not dead?
Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list.

Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or...well, actually, there's just the hard way.

Buffy: This is not gonna' be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content.

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