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"Love is so short, forgetting is so long.” Pablo Neruda.
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Alfredo Montalvo-Barbot (A.M.B.)
"We can do no great things,
only small things with great love."
-- Mother Theresa
"We are not human beings
having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual
beings having a human experience."
~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Lo Que Amo de Ti!
Amo con profundidad
tu sonrisa infinita y llana
Amo tu mirada que se me escapa
atraves de tus ojos achicados
cuando sonries!
y son tus pies los unicos
que mi cuerpo desea
y es tu delicada y oscura
piel que satisface mis miradas
es tu olor de manana frezca que
me hace olvidar que existo
y es el claro oscuro y hermoso de tu
voz que me devuelve la vida!
(A.M.B. 2005)
If You Forget Me
by PABLO NERUDA
I want you to know one thing.
You know how this is: if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch near the fire
the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body
of the log, everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists, aromas,
light, metals, were little boats
that sail toward those isles of yours
that wait for me.
Well, now, if little by little you stop
loving me I shall stop loving you little
by little.
If suddenly you forget me do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners
that passes through my life, and you decide
to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have
roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots
will set off to seek another land.
But if each day, each hour, you feel that you
are destined for me with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to
seek me, ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me,
all day I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely
body, the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.
SADDEST POEM
PABLO NERUDA
PART ONE
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the
infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
PART TWO
What does it matter that my love couldn't
keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not
with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I
loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's.
As she once belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps
I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.
------------------------------------------
GOODBYE
Is it possible that we have walked to
the end of the road, to the dead end road
that we cannot walk back,
that we have to say goodbye to our dreams,
to bend on our knees
dig a hole and bury our memories
so that we can move on with our lives?
Do I have to say goodbye
to the memory of my hands playing with your hair,
To the pleasure of breathing your sweet voice,
to our bodies struggling to be one,
to the empty spaces of silence filled with joy?
Is it true that you have walked to the end of the road
and I am looking from the distance as you bury
(y)our memories and move on with (y)our life
as my name disappears in the dark and silent
moment of the burial of our relationship and
the air is filled with our agonizing and begging
souls screaming: GOODBYE MY LOVE!(by A.M.B.)
ESCAPE
My hands again escape to reach you
in my words, to pretend again that they
can feel yours like the first day they met.
I carry with me your soul engraved in the
tip of each of my fingers.
And they won't rest, and they won't give up.
They hurt; they have a soul of their own...
My soul wants to escape through my throat
and hide forever, but just to spy through the
eyes of my bleeding heart.
My eyes are tired, they want to rest, they
want to dream of days gone and dreams to
come. (by A.M.B.)
Nevando
Esta nevando y hace mucho frio pero yo no
lo siento. Tu recuerdo esta grabado en cada
copo de nieve y en cada una de mis pisadas.
Quisiera seguir andando para crear mas pisadas
y sentir que me calienta la luz de tu mirada.
Esta nevando y hace mucho frio, pero no
es fastidio. Quisiera encontrarte sentada
en nuestro banquillo para contarnos historias
de amor y devolverle a la noche su frio .
Esta nevando y hace mucho frio, pero
no me quejo. Tu recuerdo me calienta y me siento vivo.
Busco en la nieve palabras que me digan
que estas pensando en mi y en lo mucho
que extranas mi calor en tus entranas.
Esta nevando y hace mucho frio, pero
el perfume a rosas que dejo tus manos
en mi cuerpo me da aliento, y me sonrio al
saber que ni el frio jamas podra apagar el fuego
que consume nuestros cuerpos.
Esta nevando y hace mucho frio, y la braza
de nuestro amor aun arde bajo la nieve.
(by A.M.B.)
ME GUSTAS
Me gustas, mas tu ni te lo sospechas.
Tus ojos me embrujan cuando me miran
y quieren arrancar de mi mi alma.
Me gustas, te lo digo mil veces y mil
veces mas si me es posible.
Mi cuerpo vibra al mirarte,mas tu no lo notas.
Ayer, cuando sentada frente a mi
tu mano acariciaba tu pierna inclinada
y tus muslos bronceados se impusieron
ante mis ojos, quise detener
el tiempo y llegar a ti para ser yo
quien se paseara sobre tu cuerpo.
Me gustas, carajo, pero he llegado
muy tarde a tu vida...pero me alegra
haber llegado desde la distancia.
(by A.M.B.2005)
Question
You asked me once or maybe twice :
When you die, how would like to die?
And I said: What do you mean? I don't
Want to die.... And you asked again,
But, when you die would you
like to die as you fall asleep, or in an
accident, or as you walk down the street,
or while you read a book?
And I said nothing, waiting for more
Choices; yes, like death gives you a choice,
Like death is democratic, that it will
respect your preferences, ambitions, dreams,
hopes.
And I remained in silence....waiting for you to
Rephrase the question or tell me a story.
But nothing came out of your mouth, except
A sigh and a look straight to my eyes to ensure
I was still alive.
And I closed my eyes and imagined numerous ways
I could answer your impertinent question.
And I said: I would like to die in the lovely arms of a lovely
Woman sitting in a park in a rainy day. Better yet,
It would be nice to die when I feel I am the only one
Walking in the opposite direction, or in a quiet night
Drinking scotch longing the love of a woman, the cry of
A baby, and the smell of a rose in the misty morning.
But I knew none of these answers would have pleased
Your inquisitive mind. So, I said I wanted to die like
A toilet flush, taken away by the water....at
Least I would know I would land somewhere.
And you laughed at me, gave me a tender kiss and
Said goodbye to me forever as our tears walked
Together but in opposite directions.
(by A.M.B.)
Possibility/Hope
is it possible that we are not
what we think we are...
is it possible that all that is
real is the passion our bodies
experience when they are together...
or when they anticipate that they
will be together; feeling like
our hands feel when they touch
the mist that caresses the roses
in the early morning....
is it possible that we
are just floating in the air
like crystal bubbles that
make others happy but
that fill us of joy....
and of the possibility that tomorrow
still is a possibility...that somewhere,
someone will blow more bubbles
in which we can find each other....
that we will become the mist that
will keep the roses alive for other
sleepless lovers, to caress in the morning...
(by A.M.B.)
Missing You
Ever since my hands caressed your face
and my lips tasted yours, a monologue
of passion and fire has invaded my
solitude.
Since that moment when my
eyes timidly found in yours the meaning
of freedom I have been the slave of
sleepless nights.
And now, when I long for that beautiful
smile of yours, for a touch the way you
touched me, for the words only you can
say, you are far away, and yet too deep in
my soul for me to ignore.(by A.M.B.)
ON LIFE AND DEATH
Wasn't for you I would have,
long ago, answered the question of life
after death...and I would have lifted
the heavy weight of life off my shoulders...
and would have seen those who have
answered THE question before me....and
who made my life lighter, and offered me
a smile, touched my heart, and still make
me cry of joy!(by A.M.B.)
THE LIGHT ON YOU
In front of this table, alone,
a beautiful fruit in front of me
her skin reflects the sunlight that
welcomes me every morning.
Another day has passed since the first
time we met at this table.
I want to think that you are eternal...
that tomorrow you will be there, in the
same space...at the same time, under the
same light!
And, another day has passed, and you still
there in front of me...another morning.
And, little by little, I see you hidding into
yourself perhaps to escape the light, the way the flowers escape when the winter approaches.
But, you talk to me and I see the LIGHT:
Hidding into yourself is the only way to be
in touch with LIFE.(by A.M.)
IS IT THE END?
and is time to say goodbye
the farewell of the souls
has finally arrived.
like a wound it hurts to
feel us pulling apart forever
not knowing if we will ever
see and feel each other again.
and is time to cry, to utter the
words that could bring us back;
the words we should have said
and now are just regrets...
and is time to see you dissapear
among the shadows; is time again
to feel my whole soul cry in desperation
to feel each particle of my soul disintegrate
as your soul disintegrates in what is left of me.(by A.M.)
And We Escape
Having her smile in my hands,
having her body on my soul,
is all I ask...but she escapes...
Navigating the ocean of her
eyes, in silence, with a smile...
Having our hands desperately, anxiously
trying to unravel our deepest secrets
is all I ask....but she escapes...
and I lay in my solitude with my
arms extended toward her hoping
that she would want to have my smile
in her hands, and my heart in her soul...
before she decides to escape again...(by A.M.)
Ansias de Amor
It was the end of the day and our
bodies encountered each other anxiously.
Our hands read every inch and every
corner of our bodies; no area was left
unexplored. Our lips danced and paused
only to say in words what
our bodies have long understood!!!
All corners of her body were
occupied. My hands slowly reached
her ocean of joy to drink from her
sweet water, and trembled while I deliriously
enjoyed. For a moment the world
was gone...space and time disappeared
right in front of our own eyes.
I was paralyzed as her sensual voice
uttered unintelligible yet pleasurable
sounds and her body danced magically!
She put my hands in her firm, smooth, and electrifying
breasts; for she knew herself too well as to wait for
me to learn! And I was firmed and determined to
reluctantly end the journey, but only after she has
arrived and has paved the way for me to land!(by A.M.)
Reencuentro
Y he podido sobrevivir a tus
mentiras. El sol por fin empieza
a brillar. La pesadilla casi
ha terminado. La sombra de lo que
que crei que tu eras se
ha desaparecido.
Mi mejor amiga vuelve a mi
cada tarde. Nos encontramos y nos
abrazamos para juntos compartir lo
mas hermoso de este mundo: el Amor
y el saber que ya jamas nos separaremos
(by A.M.)
Me dueles y te siento a cada instante.
Me abrazo a la esperanza de que sigues
siendo mia aunque se que ya jamas nos
volveremos a encontrar.
Estoy atado a ti como el sol
en el atardecer se ata al cielo azul
que se niega a ser noche.
Mas, resignado estoy a perderte
como se pierde la lluvia en la tarde
con la esperanza de ser el rocio que acaricie
tu bello rostro en la manana.(by A.M.)
Body and Soul
i wish i could see you
i wish i could become part of you
i wish you would take over me
become the air i breathe, the texture of
my soul. i wish i could hear you
i wish i could feel my soul vibrate with
your laugh, with each of your words...
but, it is all a wish!
i can see your beauty...the same i have seen in
others...and...i have heard your voice...the same
i have heard before
still, i wish for some day to see you; the real you
with texture...an unpredictable texture
navigate your body and your soul...
myself lost in the ups and downs, the plenitude
and the emptiness of your soul...
in fact, i don't wish...i want to smell you, feel your
skin pressing my skin...penetrating each of my pores...
your eyes dissecting my soul as to make me cry of
JOY!(by A.M.)
AMB
Plenitude
there was a time when everything was perfect
...life was infinite...love and passion plentiful
and abundant. it was the time
when having your body dissolved in the ocean
was like recognizing your eternity...when feeling the
fresh air reminded you of your lost soul...it was the time
when having and loving one person was impossible because
you were in love with life...it was in fact, that unique
moment in life when your soul found itself in the calm and
tasteful ocean of life...(by A.M.)
life reflection
The mystery of life is knowing that life is not infinite
that some day everything will be over except for those who
will miss you...because missing you will reaffirm their own sense of eternity.(by A.M.)
Self?Encounter
the empty and silent streets take the empty yet
desperate souls to their routinary encounter with life...
an encounter with well demarcated freedom, with invisible
and real dividing walls and spaces...the sound of voices
and human inventions resound forming a meaningless and
formalized string of superflous experiences.
an aura of fear and hatred permeates the empty yet
desperate souls that populate the empty and silent streets...
elusive and cold encounters signal their fear of self?discovery...silence and routinized expressions punish the enemy
and yet, God is with them...protecting their empty and desperate
souls. Filling them with the hope that some day they will be
in heaven...without fear or hatred...full of joy and peace...sharing
eternity with those they feared and hated in the empty and silent
streets of life.(by A.M.)
The Cemetery Worms
the cemetery worms sent one of their own
to study humans. the scholar worm came back
to talk to the community of cemetery worms.
"There is among humans an ultimate truth." said
the scholar. "What is it?" shouted someone from
the eager audience. "Well," the scholar continued,
"according to humans the big fish always eats the
smaller." A brief silence from the audience was
followed by the loud and contagious laugh of the
cemetery worms.(by A.M.)
Expectation
Here I am. Fighting to find the words
that would allow me to express what I feel. Here we go:
I LOVE YOU. My arms are tired of waiting
to hug you. My body crumbles when it feels your presence .
What else can I say! Perhaps I don't have anything else to say
Perhaps I should ask: why? I won't be able
to answer this question until you extend your arms and take me
into your firm body and rescue me.(by A.M.B.)
Loving Laugh
we have all been fooled...someone tried to
take love and wrap it into neatly demarcated spaces
...I laugh, you should laugh, they should laugh,
we should all laugh
...love is now passion in prison
always waiting to find a chance to escape
to be momentarily free...a chance to have
an encounter with that person whose passion
also escaped the tyranny of love.(by A.M.B.)
LA MUERTE
by A.M.B.
La muerte agrede el amor ante mis ojos.
Se impone ante mi, celosa y
pasivamente violenta. Se desplaza, y me
quiere callar, y rudamente interrumpe
mi monologo de amor con la vida.
La muerte me despierta
inoportuna y cortante. Se acomoda, y sin ser
invitada se acuesta a mi lado, sonriente y
morbosa. Me inventa cuentos y me invita a sonreir!
La muerte tiene una sonrisa en sus labios y me
ofrece su mano de seda. Con un abrazo tierno
construye en mi la calma...un abrazo sutil como el ultimo abrazo de una madre, y sincero como
la mirada de nino. La muerte me seduce y me
enamora para que la extrane en mi soledad,
como queriendo robarle a la vida mi incondicional amor!
EL ADIOS
y que te parece, que hace
un tiempo hoy mis lagrimas
escribian la historia de nuestro amor
sobre estas teclas.
mas hoy, con mis ojos secos y mis manos
firmes, se me escapan las palabras,
ha saber desde que oscuro rincon, para decirte
adios desde la distancia, la distancia mas larga
que se crea entre dos seres que una
vez se unieron en la intimidad de una
gran pasion. (A.M.B., Nov. 18, 2004)
